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Why can't I get over her or him?

111 Answers
Last Updated: 11/26/2019 at 8:52am
Why can't I get over her or him?
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Kimberly Claudat, PhD


I'm a cognitive-behavioral therapist, here to support you in learning skills to cope with depression, anxiety, and painful emotions through a collaborative approach.

Top Rated Answers
February 26th, 2016 12:56pm
You still have feelings for them. You have to learn to let go, forget, and move on. Cut all contact for a little while to give yourself time.
February 28th, 2016 8:58am
Cause you've spend both good and bad moments with this person, trying to cherish ur relationship with him or her. Its naturally hard to get over such a person with whom you've spend majority of your time
March 2nd, 2016 1:46pm
Because you just aren't ready to move on yet, it is totally normal. I hope you figure this out. :)
March 9th, 2016 6:47am
It is hard but not impossible. You need to spend time growing and learing yourself. Keep yourself busy to stop thinking about it.
March 9th, 2016 9:41pm
Because you grew attached to her/him. People that spend time together eventually depend on each other, so then when the relationship abruptly ends, you're left shocked and stranded.
May 12th, 2016 12:09am
You're dwelling too much on the past, what has happened has happened. Try talking to a friend or family member or maybe fill that void that they left.
May 18th, 2016 10:40am
Because you loved her, and losing someone you love takes time to get over. You can't do it all at once, but one day soon, you will.
May 25th, 2016 4:09pm
I cant get over him because even though I let go, he will always have a place in my heart. He was there for me through the hardest time in my life... and we abused each other, I still feel the slap of his palm on my skin and the heated hate of my words. but sometimes all I can see is the good... the amazing times we had
May 25th, 2016 11:32pm
A relationship ending is very similar to grieving. You are grieving for the loss and dwelling on the happy times you spent together. If there is no option of getting back together then it's time to focus on yourself. Time is a healer and you will be stronger and understand more why it never worked out in the future. Don't look back. ❤
May 28th, 2016 12:15am
Sometimes it is hard to get over someone you had a connection with. Makes it hard when they were a big part/influence on your life. We sometimes don't even realize how much we actually depend on that person till there gone.
June 26th, 2016 3:36am
The reason it is so difficult to let go of that special person is that we have drawn a picture of ourselves that was not complete without them. When they leave us, the picture of ourselves seems incomplete. So we need to redefine who we are in terms of what is in our life now and what we aspire to bring into our lives.
July 21st, 2016 8:37pm
Because you loved him or her. You don't suddenly forget about them or the memories you share. It takes time, which makes it very difficult. They say that it'll start to fade eventually.
February 21st, 2016 4:10pm
Because you are thinking about them too much. Try and take your mind off them and relax. Try to do things you love.
February 25th, 2016 9:38pm
Address the situation head on. Regardless of how involved you were with the guy who doesn't care about you, you have to acknowledge your feelings and address the situation. Denying you cared about the person or were interested in him won’t help you move on.[1] Don’t pretend that it didn’t happen or act like you are unfazed by the situation. To effectively get over someone, according to psychologists, you need to recognize and admit what you are dealing with. Regardless of how serious your relationship with the guy was, this is an important step in the grieving process. Confide in a trusted friend or write your feelings down in a private place such as a diary or journal.
March 5th, 2016 12:40pm
Because you probably arent fully allowing yourself and holding onto something. To fully move on you need to realise the reasons why and accept them. It can take time but everyone is capable
March 13th, 2016 4:13pm
You can't because then your going to end up hurting that person and that is not what you want to do your going to have to find a different way through.
March 17th, 2016 10:43pm
Sometimes it's hard, but with support, you can do it!
March 18th, 2016 8:48pm
Heartbreak over a romantic loss is one of the hardest things to handle. Fortunately, people do recover from heartbreak and go on to thrive. In fact, these are experiences that lead to tremendous personal growth. One of the ways to help get over a romantic loss is to share your feelings here on 7cups and to process your emotions fully. At those difficult times, reach out to find a listener on 7cups, someone who can listen to whatever you are feeling at the time.
April 1st, 2016 2:55am
I depends, sometimes its just that one soul mate ,others is for money, sex, or drugs. (Which the last three are very unhealthy relationships)
April 2nd, 2016 10:03pm
You still love them the past did happen now you have to go put hang with your friends and family and enjoy the life you forgot you had without the ex
April 7th, 2016 5:46am
Yes. Time heals all wounds. I believe the universe brings you lessons and blessings in disguises...
April 9th, 2016 1:34pm
Every love you feel in life will be special and unique, and those you love the most may be a part of you for a long time, even after they've left your life.
April 10th, 2016 6:07pm
You can get over. It may be just a saying, but times heals everything. You will eventually forget about her/him, trust me. It is not worth it, I am sure that a person would be blessed to have your kind heart.
April 29th, 2016 5:28pm
Who said you can't? You sure can. It's just about time. Think about it: Is it the guy/girl you can't get over or the memories?
April 30th, 2016 1:40pm
It might possible that , you overflow with your emotions , keep calm don't overthink , try to divert your mind .
April 30th, 2016 2:39pm
You can't yet, but eventually you will. And also you will realise the world is full of amazing people, there's not just one person for us, but thousand or even million of others. Get out there, and you'll see.
May 4th, 2016 4:51pm
Time. I had a boyfriend who I loved so much. I tried everything to get over him. The best I can say is listen to music that gets your mind off of them. It took me 9 months. But after I finally let go, I found the best guy in the entire world(:
May 6th, 2016 4:39pm
My freshman year in high school there was a boy I was very interested in. I had a crush on him all the way through freshman year, and half of sophomore year. I found it very hard to get over him when he ended up hating me. He was hard to get over because I had a strong attachment to him and I didn't want to let go until I had to. When he hated me, I realized I needed to let go. So that was when I could begin to get over him.
May 12th, 2016 8:24am
Because you just dont meant to be with him or her. Just remember good man just for good woman and good woman just for good man. That's all. Be a good one then!
May 15th, 2016 3:59pm
Allowing too much thoughts of a certain person makes you remember the feelings you want to weaken.