Why can't I move on from my past relationship? I feel my life has been on pause for the past months.. I've tried everything but I don't seem to get better.

18 Answers
Last Updated: 01/08/2018 at 7:33pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
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Top Rated Answers
AtBothEnds
June 14th, 2015 7:02pm
There is no "getting past" things or people. We learn to accept that things are over and let reality settle in. Not unlike death, breaking up is a separation that changes a lot about our routine, our perspective on the future and other things that we stumble on daily. It will take months before we accept the changes and they cease to shock us. Be gentle with yourself and do not try to get past it, just carry it and in time you won't notice the absence as much. You will handle things organically, so try to practice patience. In the meantime, it is important to stay consistent. Try as much as you can to not re-open old wounds or habits that will undermine your process. Eat well, rest and distract yourself with friends and activities that bring you joy. I can understand that you have tried everything, but there is nothing else there. Keep trying, breahe easy, you need to recharge and sometimes cry. Take a moment and continue trying, before you know it, it won't be such a struggle and the trying will be more relaxed until it becomes normal and you won't have to try, you will just live normally and without having to think about it. You won't always be "on pause". This won't last forever.
Anonymous
August 3rd, 2015 12:18pm
It's normal to feel this way about a past relationship, but we have to find ways to preoccupy ourselves to help us move on, because it's for the best. You'll feel better once you finally start to move on. The heartache will start to disappear and you'll feel a lightness in your heart instead of the feeling of heaviness and hurt.
avphrodite
April 13th, 2015 4:42pm
It's very hard to let go of people that we love. Especially with memories and things like that, it'll be difficult to see the light in a dark situation. Talking to a professional about coping mechanisms may be beneficial.
Anonymous
March 16th, 2015 9:01pm
The feelings you have for the person that you were with are still present.. It's understandable to feel like your life has been on pause because the person that has been your everything for however long is gone and things aren't the same.
heavenPurple92
May 26th, 2015 9:22pm
They say it takes on average 6 months to get over an ex-partner. Just give yourself time and take care of you. You'll meet someone better in no time :) Sometimes things happen for a reason. People leave our lives so someone better can entire. It's true :) Don't bottle up your emotions. Just cry it out if you need to and then walk on like the awesome person you are. Good luck!!! :D
Anonymous
May 7th, 2015 11:03pm
It sounds like you haven't gotten closure on your past relationship yet. There are a lot of different ways to find closure, depending on the situation itself, but it's often a good idea to start by talking things through with your ex.
Anonymous
June 14th, 2016 2:55pm
Time heals. Love yourself and live a life. Hang out with your friends. Spend quality time with your family. Make new friends.
LilyFlowers
June 15th, 2016 1:17am
Break ups and ending relationships is never easy. There are many reasons why you feel this way. One is that your still grieving. Your hurt, and it takes time to heal. Sometimes months, sometimes years. You need time, space from what's happened and to allow yourself to heal. Avoiding, repressing and such of emotions will slow or hinder the healing process, so it's super important to be present with your emotions, meaning feel your emotions with out trying to push them away. You need to feel it to heal it. It's something you just have to go through. It's a natural healing process. Pain is part of relationships ending. We must feel pain to heal pain. It's possible you may need more time, or maybe your trying to push away how you feel, that will only make things worse and slow the healing process.
Anonymous
June 29th, 2015 8:06pm
The past cannot be erased, so one must not try to erase the past, but focus on the present and the future, which you have control of. It is normal to grieve, but if one wants to get anywhere, one must take the first step forward.
Anonymous
July 7th, 2015 12:44am
finding things to occupy the mind can help move forward... reinventing yourself too, finding a new task to tackle... in the end it will help you feel better about yourself and possibly forget the past...
bambi74
December 14th, 2015 4:26pm
try saying good bye to the person again it might make you feel better to let them know you are finally gonna move on a live a happy life
uniquecreature41
December 28th, 2015 5:28pm
Some people, like some relationships are harder to get over than others. Allowing yourself the time to process your feelings at the end of a relationship and being patient with yourself are crucial to moving beyond it. Jumping too soon into other relationships or believing you don't need the time and space to grieve what you once had may mean these feelings return to haunt you at some point in the future.
lydiaheels
January 8th, 2018 7:33pm
Hello how are you? so here is the page turned and very often very hard especially if you leave a very long relationship? think about the good side of this separation, because there are otherwise you would be together again, tell you that life is beautiful that you will meet wonderful people. Here you want to talk contact me. have a good day (sorry for my English I'm french)
RobVL
July 11th, 2016 6:39pm
I have been there more than once... Most people would have. The reason is that you are holding on to an expected outcome, something that isn't happening at the moment. But if you let it go you feel like you are giving up, and if you chase after it, it hurts. The first thing that you need to do is become mindful, use 7 cups exercises to help with that. Secondly, accept that you are not with that person and that the expectancy is unhealthy as things in a lot of cases should just be. Things happen that we like and don't like on a daily basis, it is how we handle it or allow it to make us feel that matters. Lastly, focus on your commitments. You have goals in life, and your partner might have been one of them. Accept that it din't work out, but that something better is on its way and work towards those goals of being better. Hey, who knows, doing this might actually have your ex raise an eyebrow for another chance.
Anonymous
August 2nd, 2016 12:14am
There has been no closure. If you can find closure of the relationship instead of the what if's you will find you are able to move past the relationship.
Anonymous
August 8th, 2016 11:08am
It might be that you simply haven't had enough time to move on from the relationship. Wanting to is the first step but it can still take a bit longer to convince the rest of yourself that it's okay to move out of it, especially if the relationship was particularly long or significant. Making sure to distract yourself with friends and family can be a good step forward.
helpfulButterfly84
August 16th, 2016 2:26pm
Because you miss the person you were in a relationship with. You are experiencing heartbreak. This is normal to not be able to move on.
silentmirror1995
October 25th, 2016 8:28pm
Because I'm the one who is stopping myself. If I don't want to help myself no one else would be able to help me.