Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

Why do I always have uncontrollable doubts about any new relationship I go through?

17 Answers
Last Updated: 11/09/2021 at 10:54pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Lisa Groesz, PhD


With evidenced based therapies, we find the root of the problem together to implement solutions. We all face crises, transitions, or disorders at some time.

Top Rated Answers
January 14th, 2015 9:47pm
Everyone gets doubts when they meet anyone new, especially someone who may or may not be with you in a romantic way. Everyone gets self-doubts, but the thing to remember is that they are with you for a reason. They saw something they liked and saw potential in the relationship.
March 27th, 2015 10:32pm
A relationship is a huge risk: you are putting your most vulnerable self out to a person and you have to trust them to not hurt you. Realize that you have to trust the other person, and that you have the power to take things as slow as you feel comfortable with going. A relationship doesn't have to be 100% from day one!
December 22nd, 2015 1:07pm
You might have uncontrollable doubts about new relationships based off of past memories of bad relationships and the trauma that occurred. I was in a verbal violence case with my partner once. I'm still uneasy getting into new relationships!
April 2nd, 2015 8:58pm
Doubts are always normal, it shows how much you value your relationship. Being open in the relationship and talking to your partner will always help in this case
July 24th, 2018 8:56am
being in relationships can be anxiety provoking, because you are entering a world of unknowns and unpredictability, sense you have to accept that they have the free will to make their own choices and so, we have no control over that person. This can make trusting very difficult. perhaps, it is trusting ourselves, that we can accept and cope with these decisions and still remain valuable to people and to ourselves. looking inward to our own strength is the only path, when taking on any new journey,
June 2nd, 2015 9:00pm
Something may have happened in the past causing these trust issues, whether you can remember or not. What I'd say is maybe talking to your partner about how you're feeling, share your doubts, it could really help just by talking it out and getting reassurance. Best of luck. :)
June 22nd, 2015 2:57pm
Some people just don't trust as easily as others. Some individuals may have gone through something traumatic or upsetting in their relationship and may find it hard to trust new people. It isn't a bad thing as long as you can realize what is happening
September 22nd, 2015 8:14pm
It's actually quite common to have doubts, fear rejection, and worry about even small things. Sometimes simply talking to the other person can put your doubts at ease.
October 19th, 2015 8:23pm
Having doubts it's natural. A lot more if your previous ones left you somewhat disappointed. Our doubts can help us approach anything new with caution. We have the power to decide whether or not to trust these thoughts or try to find proof to help us understand if we are only insecure or truly things aren't what they seem to be.
November 24th, 2015 8:29pm
Trust issues, Anything you experienced in your past can hurt you. You need to let things go. When you do, I promise, you will feel so much better! :)
February 15th, 2016 3:47am
if you've been used, lied to, or abused you will automatically think will they do this? or this? what if I do this will they react like this?
October 24th, 2016 4:28am
Maybe because you had a bad breakup or you had your heart broken. Maybe you do not want to waste your time if that person is not the right person.
February 27th, 2018 7:32pm
Negative past experiences could be a reason to have doubts. It's understandable to generalize the person in your relationship. But just remember that not every relationship is the same because not every person is the same. Allowing yourself to be more open minded could have a positive effect for opportunities to come.
July 25th, 2018 1:31am
It can be related to fears you have, it's normal to have doubts in any new relationship though. You can try some good coping skills to help with them! ex: challenging negative thoughts :)
April 9th, 2019 12:31am
Doubts are very normal for new relationships. It's alright to worry that things may seem off or question another's loyalty. A relationship takes time and dedication from both members, taking to the other person can help drastically, as well as help the two of you bond closer. As time goes on you'll feel more comfortable, if theres nothing that the other person says or does which is of concern then remind yourself of that. Doubts typically go away when the relationship strengthens and is maintained. Taking and expressing any doubts can help as well, including figuring out why you feel you have these doubts and closing them with any answers you have or know.
April 19th, 2021 4:52am
Doubts in a new relationship can be normal. Maybe try sitting down with your significant other and talking to them about your doubts. Tell them what is bothering you and ask for their feedback. Being able to communicate in a new relationship is very important. In a new relationship you need to be able to speak freely with your significant other. If you have any worries or doubts then you should be able to talk to them and they should be able to speak to you about any worries or doubts they may have as well. An open line of communication can be an integral back bone to a relationship.
November 9th, 2021 10:54pm
When you get into new relationships its hard not to doubt because its new you have to still adjust to the changes, you have to get used to the other person you have to get to know the other person and they have to get to know you. In new relationships you have to work through the honeymoon phase and get through every obstacle to not doubt in the relationship. When you know and feel confident with yourself all of the doubting will eventually go away. And you will feel confident in your new relationship. It takes time to adjust to something new