Why do I feel anxious when my boyfriend goes out or is away for the weekend? I don’t have trust issues but it’s something else I cannot find answer to
Last Updated: 07/13/2020 at 7:17pm
Sarah Archer, LMFT
Marriage & Family Therapist
As a Licensed MFT I work with clients to more effectively address, process and learn skills to manage the problems that prevent them from living the life they want.
Top Rated Answers
Possibly Trust issues and you ain't even aware about it. I can actually relate to you on this. I used to feel the same and it was hard to admit but i figured out slowly that it was abandonment issues from my past. Its somehow an irrational fear if it haunts you all the time even when u know there's nothing wrong. You need reassurance too often. You feel the need to connect to the person and need to know his whereabouts all the time. The intensity might differ in your case than mine but i understand how you feel. Its tough when the problem isn't the other person, its your own goddamn mind and no matter how reasoning it seems, you cant just let the feel go. You are afraid afraid of losing this person. But being too clingy might push them away but u cant seem to help how u feel.
You don't trust him. Simple, you are worried and not sure if you can trust him. If he haven't done anything that would break your trust before, then you have to figure out a way to stop the fear.
It's trus issues! You should learn to use this time for yourself. For example: meet friends, do some sport, go for a walk, go shopping, enjoy spa
It may bring up feelings of abandonment from your past. The good news is your boyfriend doesn't have to do anything to help you feel better since it's an inside job Write down all the feelings that come up when he goes away Don't try to fight them draw them, give them a color a shape a texture befriend them write a poem about them feelings are like waves they will come and go try and observe them without become overly concerned or attached It's not an uncommon feeling to feel abandoned but when someone is just going away for a weekend the feelings can be exaggerated which means they are not really about this particular incident
Maybe it's your intuition? Instincts? If you have a bad feeling in your gut about him going away for the weekend I would try and listen to your instincts and maybe try to look into the situation a little more. If that doesn't seem to really be the case it may be a form of relationship anxiety where you may worry that he's cheating or other relationship insecurities. It's a fairly normal feeling to have sometimes, but always listen to your gut and if you truly feel anxious or bothered- talk out how you feel with him! To conclude, I'd say that it may just be an anxious feeling that stems from insecurity with oneself or the current relationship.
The anxiety you feel when your boyfriend goes out could very well be because of trust issues, even though you don't think it is, just because its how humans work. We're easily scared and jealous so, even if you don't realize it, you might not trust him completely. However, it could also just be an issue about worrying about his safety. I know plenty of people who are anxious the entire time their loved ones are away because they don't know exactly where they are or what they're doing, and thus don't know if they're safe. Those are the two most clear answers for me—either you're dealing with some insecurity, or you're just really anxious for his wellbeing.
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