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Why do I feel that I am rejected or neglected by people?

148 Answers
Last Updated: 08/23/2020 at 7:16pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
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Sandra Butler, AOD, DV counselor

Drug & Alcohol Counselor

Experienced in understanding how emotions and feelings affect our lifes in every aspect of interacting, not just with others, but how we process those emotions. I can help you

Top Rated Answers
gentlePeace96
December 16th, 2018 4:05pm
Sometimes it helps to carry on and do your own thing without worrying about what other people think. In other words, to get out of your own head and do. Maybe you want to dip your toe in volunteering, learn a foreign language that's always interested you, or learn to play a new musical instrument. 'Doing' may improve your feelings of confidence and self worth. You may even meet other people, who share your interest. As a result, maybe you will start worrying less about what others think of you while fostering pride in yourself for the cool, interesting person you are becoming!
Darksaviour04
December 19th, 2018 7:00pm
It may be because you have low self esteem or you don't trust yourself. Its not other people who reject you but may be its you who reject yourself who is afraid of accepting yourself. If you accept who you are and start appreciating the person you are no one can reject you. Its you who has the power to reject yourself and not somebody who doesnt even know who you are. As far as being neglected is concerned once you make yourself your own priority people start making you their priority. So the key is start believing in yourself and the world will believe in you.
Anonymous
January 3rd, 2019 3:41pm
People come from different backgrounds, and everyone has a different worldview, perception, emotional intelligence and IQ. If you feel rejected or neglected it is absolutely normal, because not everyone is going to accept you as you are, and that is totally ok! If you consistently feel rejected or neglected by people, you may be assertive with the people and ask them why they are rejecting/neglecting you? It is always better to clarify your feelings with people they are associated with. It is possible that you may be misperceiving the information, based on your previous experiences. For instance, I felt I was rejected by my friends when I was in high school. It was a long time back - but I continue to assume that people generally reject me based on my High school experience when this is not really the case.
Anonymous
February 22nd, 2019 12:08am
People don't always react how we would like them to. We are all different. Rejection is a hard emotion to deal with, it hurts. It's important in times when you feel this way to stay positive, think about the good qualities you have and what you have to offer a as person. It may be that the other person is going through something that you are not aware of. There could be a valid reason that they are not engaging. You could always discuss with this person the way you are feeling, it may be a hard thing to do but this may be a way to feel better about the situation.
wishfulSummer18
March 30th, 2019 2:42am
There are a number of reasons you could feel that way. It may be helpful to consider the intention behind what made you feel that way. It could also be helpful to determine if you feel that way around specific people, or around everyone. Remember that as humans sometimes we can create expectations or standards in our minds that we (even subconsciously) may hold others to, and not necessarily communicate to them; and there can be times when that standard we’ve created isn’t met and we feel hurt. Communication is important, especially communicating your needs because they themselves are important.
15Kenzi
June 30th, 2019 3:23am
I’m not sure what in your life has caused you to feel this way. I can say with some certainty however, that this is a case of a self fulfilling prophecy. What I mean by that, is that I’m sure there is no general consensus by the world to ignore and overlook you. Instead I think it’s more likely that you go into every situation believing you will be ignored. As a result you likely place yourself in the background and don’t approach people with confidence. Because you hold yourself in the background, people don’t seek you out and you feel ignored. Instead, try this. In social situations, approach people and say hi, make conversation. At the beginning, it will feel awkward, push through this. It may also help to enjoy groups based on activities you enjoy, whether that’s running, book club, whatever. This may help you move past the awkward feeling, because you’ll be having too much fun. I hope this helps. Believe me, everyone is not ignoring you. You will no doubt meet jerks who misjudge and mistreat you. Don’t waste your time on them. There are plenty of people that want to talk to you, you just need to give them the chance.
LetMeHearItOut2
July 10th, 2019 8:56am
I think we find ourselves assuming what others might think of us. If, we have a low opinion of our self and when we don't find ourselves to be impressive or knowledgeable. We often think that other people must also be thinking low of us. We try to play a 'mind-reader' as Dr. Burns said in his book 'Feeling Good'We assume that people are ignoring us while that might not be the actuality of the situation. Maybe, they were busy or didn't notice us. But, we assume the worse, because of our opinion of ourselves. Now, I am not saying that one is always delusional in feeling this. But, even, in moments when we feel rejection, we shouldn't think it as the absolute declaration of being a failure. It is just a blip and one can come back right up. I hope that was of help to you.
Anonymous
August 17th, 2019 8:56am
A common cause of unwarranted feelings of rejection is taking people’s moods and behaviors personally and neglecting more likely interpretations of what could be happening. This can occur even more easily over text and email. The absence of cues such as facial expression, body language and tone of voice lead people to use their imaginations to interpret what’s going on, projecting their fears and uncertainties onto the communication. Recognizing the true meaning and intention of a communication can be obstructed by issues such as: insecurity, fear of rejection, anxiety, depression, ego centrism, and inadequate emotional/psychological/social intelligence. These issues have in common the failure to recognize other people’s perspectives or step into their shoes. Whether caused by anxiety or general difficulty understanding how our own and others’ minds might work, looking at situations from a narrow lens obscures reality and can lead to the erroneous conclusion that people are intentionally rejecting us.
ryanjsmith
August 21st, 2019 11:49pm
Chances are (from experience) that you may be rejecting yourself. If you don't like who you are as a person (due to low self esteem) then you don't really give others a chance to like you either. I want to assure each and every one of you that you are amazing people, and if you're being yourself, you'll definitely meet people who appreciate you for who you are and you'll find your friendship group and where you fit in! Everyone has a place and sometimes it can just take time to find that. Good luck my friends, as always! Byeeee
ShiningPanda13
September 19th, 2019 12:34am
Sometimes you are! Sometimes we are too young or financially dependent on people who are emotionally abusive (including rejecting and neglectful) that we tend to fall into other relationships that feel "normal" to us but recreate this dynamic. Many of us struggle to create and maintain proper boundaries because ours were never respected and protected at home. So we either do more for other people than they are expecting to return (but neither party realizes that up front) or they take advantage of our efforts without giving us the equivalent in return, be it thanks, availability for emotional or physical labor, time/advice, etc. But also, sometimes we can habitually internalize feelings that we have that we would otherwise be afraid of sharing with those people so as not to rock the boat, and not expressing our needs, expectations or other concerns to them. This can become a reinforcing cycle because even though we intellectually know that nobody is a mindreader, we can accidentally conclude that that they "know" what we want or "mean to" hurt us when really we just haven't given them a chance to respond to any stated request. In a related pitfall, sometimes we take it personally when people tell us "no" or just don't handle something we share with them well due to their own distractions when we felt like we really needed a "yes" or comfort and compassion. Then we read into their actions and can create a narrative that they might even be horrified to learn you thought was going on. If you are finding this is happening to you, do what you can to communicate clearly. If the issue is your boundaries aren't being respected, then try as best as you can NOT to expect acceptance or support from that person, and reconsidering the amount of time, energy, money, etc. you are willing to trade for nothing. If you are not exactly being told "no" out of disrespect but because others are genuinely too busy with their own lives -- and finding that you want back more than others can really give -- try to consider whether you are respecting their boundaries.
shyBanana9844
December 11th, 2019 4:07pm
I have always felt, and my experience has been, that with few exceptions, humans are mostly VERY cold and selfish. The human realm is very difficult to navigate. It is so hard to know how to put yourself out there, and who to trust. Vanity, social climbing and cattiness are everywhere. After over 50 years of generosity and open hardheartedness, I am learning to be much more careful when putting myself out there. Trust takes time to develop, and can never be assumed. Be patient, be careful. Hold back and observe, and you will see who is worth your precious time, your precious love.
Givingisagift
December 28th, 2019 3:36pm
Do you reject and neglect yourself ? Ask yourself ! If yes, work on yourself. World is a mirror. This knowledge is THE SECRET KEY to creating all the love and admiration you want from the world ! List your strengths and areas where you want to get better! Get excited about your potential and what can do with yourself and the world. People will naturally get attracted to you. And also ask yourself ' do you reject and neglect others' ? Are you judgmental and critical? If yes, figure out ways to like and accept others. If you succeed the world has no other option but to madly fall in love with you !!!
YourNeighbourhoodsuperhero
January 26th, 2020 10:16pm
It can be for a number of reasons, the very question is alarming. Self-compassion is important here, if you feel rejected or neglect you may be. Talk to someone you feel you can trust and be yourself around more. Those who reject or neglect you it is important for you to treat them and yourself with respect with minimal friction perhaps or assertive type behavior with respect. After all that is said and done, it is important to go ahead and soothe your neglected or rejected emotions by associating yourself with those who you feel have affection for you and treat you with love and respect. Not just mere respect alone.
supportiveDreamer61
February 26th, 2020 4:09pm
You probably are a senstive person, which is not necessarily a bad thing. Perhaps you misunderstood or they misunderstood. Consequently, they could be busy. Maybe they don't realize you need them. Maybe you're overly dependent on them. Try using other coping methods. Consequently, try socializing with new people. I believe that mostly, people don't intend to harm. Maybe they need some space. How often are you trying to contact them? Why do you feel you are being rejected or neglected? Are these people necessary in your life? You could try discussing how you're feeling with them. Good luck with everything.
HappyBeach
March 5th, 2020 7:07am
I thick sometimes as humans we are our own worst enemies and beat ourselves up. What we think is rejection or neglect by another person is possibly just that our perception. I feel this way a lot and found that most of the time I make mountains out of mole hills. We as people have to stop being our own worst enemy and look to find our self worth. Rejection and neglect by another person can sometimes be a blessing in disguise, it helps us to know that a real friend and a true caring individual are not going to hurt or do this to us. I always tell people that what you are feeling is just that, it may just be your feeling, not that the person is actually treating us that way. Sometimes our inner self is not a positive voice but a negative and we tend to always think the worst. This is where 7 cups comes in by working on goals and working through self worth. Gratitude journaling really helps with this as well because it tends to show us that what we are feeling at one point may not be the same way we feel about a situation the next time. We have to start being a good friend to ourselves first and find our own self worth so others will see that in us as well.
Saraspurpleskies
March 12th, 2020 10:59pm
Many people who feel rejected or neglected by others have been through some bad experiences in the past that lead them to make a false generalisation as a protection mechanism, so they will usually subconsciously behave in ways that drive people away, they'll do things such as isloate, reject invitations, and they usually never approach people and initiate things with them, this then takes the form of a toxic cycle and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy ,however, once we shine the light of awareness on this issue and realise the root cause of this cycle we can free ourselves from this feeling. consequently we no longer act in ways that feed this assumption.
Nitty18
March 28th, 2020 9:42am
My heart goes to whoever feels this way.It usually happens when people they themselves wont be going with good times they tend to reject or neglect people around them.A times people arent nice to others.Let other people know you need to be cared and find what they need from you.There is a possibility they do not know what they want from you.Do express yourself well and try to communicate with the person who is neglecting you and be vocal about the whole situation. This might help you to solve the issue in long term and resolve all the issues you have.
URawesome22
April 8th, 2020 1:14pm
Feeling rejected and neglected by people is something that everyone goes through. I feel it a lot too! What we have to know is that everyone feels that way at one point or another. Its a natural reaction and usually it has nothing to do with the person themselves. We never know what someone else may be going through, and they may be in a mood where they need to be alone and that can feel like neglect. They may also be in a mood where they want to feel better about themselves so they may be in a rejecting manner towards you. Always make sure that you consider what they may be going through and don't worry! Everyone feels this way and you are not alone!
CeceBakes16
April 10th, 2020 3:12pm
Personally having been there for people in times of need has led me to believe that I have the will power and confidence to get through my problems. I definitely try to engage with people more and also make sure I can be with them in any way that I can. If you feel rejected or neglected by people, then you should always put it into polite words and ask them if your feelings are true or not. If you feel neglected you can additionally seek help from a listener to help you cope with these feelings. It can help to talk to friends and family about your feelings too.
OldEthan
May 7th, 2020 3:35am
Do you think that people reject or neglect you because they aren't paying enough attention to your needs or they are unable to "see" you? Are you able to ask people for care with skill? Sometimes when I am rejected it is my fault because I am not good socially (I am a high-functioning Autistic.) , and sometimes it is because I am looking for help from the wrong person or people. It is very painful to be rejected or neglected and I empathize with your issues in this area. One thing that has worked for me is to accept that others are not perfect and that many people are not going to be able to help me. This realization helps me to approach people with more success because I am much less hurt when they cannot or will not help me. You are a worthwhile person yet some people cannot see your value and needs. Keep looking for help with this and I am hopeful that you will better this lack care from others in your life.
Anonymous
May 30th, 2020 7:23pm
Sometimes the real person we put out to the world draws people away, but at the same time, brings others in. Although being rejected or neglected feels painful, there's not much we can do to make every single person we come across happy. You are perfect just the way you are and the right people will realize that and embrace that with you. Sometimes it could also be the difference between maturity and immaturity, right and wrong, or attitude. The Golden Rule always says to "Treat others the way you want to be treated." Now that doesn't always mean that you have to act differently and be a different person in order to do so, but more like discovering more ways to implement those values into your life. Deep down though, it's about accepting and loving yourself for who you are that really matters.
dancingMelody8086
June 19th, 2020 7:24pm
The feeling of being rejected and neglected by people comes from not accepting yourself for who you truly are. If you feel as if you are not accepted by others or are often neglected, think "Do I love myself for who I am" and remember that you are loved, accepted, and great. Realize your self-worth, and that you are amazing and perfect just the way you are. Sometimes, feeling rejected and neglected may be because the other person is going through something as well and they are expressing feelings like rejecting and neglecting others to cope. Just remember that the end of the day, you are amazing and worth it.
Heftyarjun
June 26th, 2020 6:20am
Humans generally forms opinions on others quickly. They come to conclusions very fast without analysing the reality. In that process most of the times people blindly follow the herd or community opinions on someone. It means if some of them create a certain opinion on some individual, automatically majority of other individuals too blindly go with them. So we need to understand why those people label certain bad opinions on particular individual. It can happen beacause of two reasons the one is the fault in others. As judging an individual by his appearance or background or etc etc where that individual do not have any fault within them. The second reason is some communication glitches in respective individual. These two reasons will be accountable for getting a feeling of mass rejection or neglection from society. So in the former case the neglection or rejection is limited to certain people it won't escalated that rapidly. And by giving some clarifications from our side people do understand us and get along with us. But in the second case where there is some communication fault with in us. Then that problem keeps on reappearing again and again in any area if life. So in that case ,it's important to improve our communication skills. In all verbal, body language, diction, clarity in speech and selection of topics to discuss with others etc etc will tremendously improve our situation in communication field. So some amount of work needs to be done to self analyse where we are getting wrong. This practice will also nullify the former case of rejection/neglection from society.
0ut1s
July 16th, 2020 6:19pm
I had this issue before finding a purpose, before knowing anything about myself. Once I came to inner peace with myself I started seeing life differently, And I was able to converse better with people, respecting them and doing my part. I had to be myself around other people. Doing my part, The rest is up to their character. "You can make people laugh, You can make them smile, But whether they are happy or not, Is their responsibility and their responsibility alone" - Will smith. And that's how I eliminated that feeling. I hope my humble experince would help anyone.
StarLight11x
July 29th, 2020 8:49pm
There is no certain answer as to why as it is based on personal experience and the relationship with others and yourself. From personal experience, I have learnt when I have felt rejected it was because I had put myself out there, I felt very vulnerable so when something I did or expressed wasn't accepted by the person to how I expected them to receive it, led me to feel rejected. I felt disappointed as my need to feel accepted wasn't fulfilled by that person. I realised it had nothing to do with them at all. It had to do with myself. Acceptance comes from within, not from others. When you learn to accept your vulnerability and presenting it to others, it will put you in a better place because you will no longer need the acceptance from others. So if they do not react how you may want them to, its ok because you accept that's how they are but also as long as you are happy within, the rejection isn't there. It's quite similar with neglect. If your needs aren't being met, it's not because of the other person involved. It is all to do with you. When you love and nurture yourself, you won't need anyone else to do that for you. That is the most empowering thing ever!
Daniela27
August 13th, 2020 3:36am
It is possible you may feel that way because of how you communicate with others or with which people do you communicate with. There are people who will pay less attention to you for whatever reason, but you should always be on the lookout for that group of people that will take you in as their "comrade" or good friend. If you think you are in a group of friends that normally treat you well but you feel neglected, let them know how you feel. They will try to listen and understand your situation and find ways to help you out. Communication is necessary to feel less neglected. Don't forget that you are in control of your life, and it is okay to leave certain toxic people that will purposefully neglect or reject you. Do what makes you happy and free, and make sure you have a voice in your group.
Anonymous
August 22nd, 2020 10:13am
I had always been feeling the same as well. The best things to deal with it are: 1) Accept that not everyone is going to like you, but remember there is someone or even a group of people going to like you for being who you are. The uncontrollable laugh of yours, your awkwardness, your kind heart and anything. 2)Massively invest in yourself: from your appearance to your inner world. You don't have to buy trendy things in order to look good. It can be taking a shower every day, brushing your teeth, and kinds of stuff. As for your inner world, you can try reading, taking up/exploring your hobbies, going to parks and such. 3) Engage in more people without expecting to be their friends. In case you're introverted, don't force yourself on meeting new people in a short time. It can be as simple as accepting the invitation or visiting a house of your neighbour or acquaintance to leave them some flowers, fruits or bakeries you baked. 4) Leave toxic or negative people around if possible. Take some time out to evaluate your social circle. Are they good for you? Do you feel comfortable around them? If they are actively trying to tear you down, take a note about that in your heart and try to reduce the time engaging with them and eventually cut them out. Don't care if they are yelling at you for not being their friends anymore. You have got to cut it out since they aren't good for you either. Why should you being a doormat for them? 5) Don't compare yourself to anyone. Even the most popular person has their bad side to deal with. Be content with whom you are.
mxds118
August 23rd, 2020 7:16pm
this could be anxiety. the feeling that the people around you dislike you or reject you even when you know that they do or they have told you before that they do like you it can be hard to believe sometimes. especially when it is our own brain telling us that people reject us or don't care about us. have you tried asking the people around you for reassurance. you should never feel bad for asking for reassurance, its something that everyone needs some more than others and that's normal. another thing that could possibly help is trying to tell yourself as well that people do care for you.