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Why do I get anxious when my boyfriend goes out?

152 Answers
Last Updated: 07/18/2020 at 4:14am
1 Tip to Feel Better
Canada
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Lianne Kirby, MA in Counselling Psychology

Counselor

I believe everyone should have the opportunity for their voice to be heard. I use a trauma informed, person centred approach in counselling.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
December 2nd, 2014 1:59pm
I think because you love him so much but you dont trust him.Or If you think so much about each other thinks , ıt sounds like anxiety problem.You should go on a therapist.
Armora
December 9th, 2015 10:25pm
I think their might be a lack of trust. Try to figure out whether you can trust him or not. It can also be because you have little self confidence which results in anxiety in losing your boyfriend. Learn to love yourself, you are beautiful! Be confident!
Anonymous
November 8th, 2016 1:56pm
This varies from person to person, you might be too caring or if that goes too far it can promote hostile, paranoid and suspicious thinking that lowers our self-esteem and drives unhealthy levels of distrust, defensiveness, jealousy and anxiety. Inconsinstent thoughts fear of future, getting wrong, betrayed, it can't let you enjoy the relations in present and see things as it is from clear perspective
Anonymous
March 14th, 2017 9:14pm
Perhaps the reason you get anxious when your boyfriend goes out is that you don't trust him to make good decisions, or at least not the same decisions you would make for him. You may feel worried that he will do something he wouldn't do if you were there with him. If this is the case, it may stem from a subconscious belief that he needs protecting from himself, others, or both. Almost like a mother figure, sans the Oedipus complex.
TheLolita
December 16th, 2015 4:25am
In the past, I have been anxious when my boyfriend went out because I had trust issues. These issues often were rooted in my lack of self-confidence also, what I was willing to accept in a relationship. I allowed myself to be treated a certain way and also looked past flaws in the end it ended up influencing my self-worth incredibly. You should not have to feel like that in a healthy relationship.
AD20
January 1st, 2016 8:19am
Maybe You are worried about being replaced or being alone. It depends. I don't really know what you mean by going out. But that's my opinion.
rayofhope11
December 2nd, 2014 7:40pm
Anxiety from our partner leaving can be a multitude of things, we could be struggling with trust or abandonment issues. Try expressing how you are feeling to your partner in a non confrontational way.
RosemaryBert
March 22nd, 2015 12:09am
The cause of this is most likely because you do not trust him. Trust is a key component in a relationship.
dbettis1
August 24th, 2015 9:37pm
It could just be that you're nervous about him meeting other people? Regardless you should tell him how it makes him feel! He doesn't have to stop going out all together but he should know how it makes you feel.
AvaD4rkness
December 10th, 2015 10:54pm
You're probably afraid he'll find someone else. Don't worry. Try to talk to him about it! Maybe you'll find a solution. Maybe you could make it so when you feel anxious you could text him ^^
Anonymous
July 18th, 2018 10:11am
Maybe something happened to you in your past and your afraid your boyfriend will do the same, after being hurt so bad it’s hard to get past the people in your life now isn’t the one or one’s that hurt you. Finding out the cause, start the heeling, forgive and closure
fixyou
- Expert in Anxiety
December 2nd, 2014 2:08pm
Its all right to feel that way sometimes. Maybe you feel so because you have had some nasty experiences in past. But you must have faith in him. Thats what relationships are all about
Pandaman44
December 2nd, 2014 3:50pm
Because you feel that he is leaving you and going to cheat on you. That or you feel very protective about him and dont want him to be hurt.
AskingAriel
June 30th, 2015 2:04am
That could have to do a lot with trust issues. I sometimes get very nervous when my girlfriend goes out. Mainly for the fear of her getting hurt, physically, mentally, emotionally -- something while I'm not there. But i have learned to trust her and just be ready if she needs me sometime,
1of7cups
December 9th, 2015 3:08pm
Maybe you're anxious whether you can fully trust him or not, or worried something could happen to him.
highopes
December 30th, 2015 11:00am
because maybe you are scared about him if he's okay oor not .. or even you think if he's with some other girl and forgot about you
Truckerwife08
January 21st, 2016 1:08am
Maybe youve been hurt in the past that youre afraid hes gonna do something you dont like. I get that way too with my husband.
Anonymous
March 30th, 2016 12:01pm
Getting anxious over something could mean that you're afraid of something to happen. Maybe you're anxious of your boyfriend meeting someone else? Think deeper about it. You're worried about something. But from what I can tell, it's only a feeling that is related to anxiety. And anxiety cause often negative thoughts which affects you.
DanielMoncayo
April 15th, 2016 8:31am
Because you feel that he may hurt you. You are afraid of losing him. When he goes out he has the chance of meeting someone nice and in your opinion, someone that can take him away from you. Everything happens for a reason and you obviously care a lot about him. you should tell him you feel that way and work something out. If he's a true boyfriend then the only thing he will ever want is for you to be happy.
iAmSecretErlene
April 4th, 2015 12:47am
maybe you are feeling anxious when your boyfriend goes out because maybe you have something against him or you just feel over protected, because I sometimes feel anxious when my boyfriend go out.
gabriellevasilieva
December 9th, 2015 12:47am
Have you considered that there's an underlying fear that he might find someone else? Even with friends, I'm like that sometimes. When they go out without me or hang out with other people I get anxious they'll end up hanging out with those people more than with me.
LabrynthMania
December 11th, 2015 2:45pm
you fret that he is going to either get hurt or he is going to go with another girl who he had met. It's natural, don't worry.
Anonymous
December 11th, 2015 3:41pm
Because he may see some other person and choose them over you, or just get into trouble in general and nobody wants that.
friendlyTree1961
December 11th, 2015 6:26pm
This could be a new relationship. There is nothing wrong with your boyfriend going out with his friends and spending time on his own. Try to agree on times when your not going to see each other to minimize you getting anxious. Healthy relationships need times when you are going to be apart from each other.
Anonymous
February 7th, 2016 12:00pm
You should ask yourself if you really trust him. All really goes into trust and if you find out that you have trust issues then ask yourself why. Maybe talk to him about it.
heartfulofjoy75
April 13th, 2016 9:00pm
Because you afraid and you don't believe him very much.You could give him a shot.If he lie,then you break up with him.
cherishedMist10
December 2nd, 2014 9:31pm
well it sounds like you might be anxious cause you think he might be cheating. would be my best guess, is to to try and talk to him about it.
RalphBG
December 7th, 2014 9:44am
If you mean, you are worried that he could cheat on you or something like that, you should talk to him about it, and maybe go out with him, or come to some kind of solution. If its because you are worried about him, you should also talk to him about it, and come up with a solution on how to cope with it. :)
Norma777
November 17th, 2015 7:35am
Maybe it is because you think he won't be faithful or he won't take care of himself and get hurt, and this is caused by a lack of trust in the relationship.
taciturnessence
December 18th, 2015 1:45am
Sometimes we let all of our confidence in one person in particular, we evaluate them higher than they do us, I mean we extent to a point were we see something and star to imagine what would it be if we have seen it with that person for example, and that's okay to the point in which we don't confuse or own individuality, we have to keep clear where all of that confidence in one person can harm us, because sometimes something they do, as looking for their own wellness can affect us very badly even if that wasn't the intention, we have to keep our minds in ourselfs and not to let it escape into someone else's decision.