Why do we have the fear of being judged?
Last Updated: 02/16/2021 at 4:23pm
Evelyn Coker, MSW, LCSW
Clinical Social Work/Therapist
I am down to earth and enjoy working with all clients. I have a special passion to support teen girls and women. My work is nonjudgmental and provides a safe space to grow.
Top Rated Answers
The fear of being judged stems from seeking validation in other forms if we are not validating ourselves. Once we learn to love, respect, and accept ourselves, all other opinions simply don't hold as much weight anymore.
In my opinion, it is because people are less honest to one another. If we were, we would know that many of us share the some worries. The fear of being embarrassed , the fear of not being appreciated etc. The day everyone owns up to their vulnerabilities, we won't fear judgement as much. Because again no one is perfect and no one has life figured out a 100 %
Believe me, you're not the only one that can feel that but, maybe you're just not comfortable with the person around you or you're not comfortable with yourself. Just a matter of confidence . But not too much
I believe that our fear of being judged stems from our fear of being rejected or unaccepted. Ultimately, we want to be loved, seen, heard, and accepted for who we are.
I believe that it is a societal thing that we have a fear of being judged. Even since we were all kids, we have been told not to dress a certain way, because people might think this of us, or that of us. Being judged isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but for many people, it is about being concerned that they are viewed in a certain way, or that bad things are being said about us behind our backs.
Because we all want to fit in and be liked and feel accepted. It doesn't feel good to be made fun of or judged, especially if you're being yourself. But you can't live your life worrying about what other people think.
I sometimes still feel this fear, but not as much as I used to. I had/have the fear because it's like some part of me believes whatever the other person says about me. Like there is some truth to their words despite the fact they may not know me at all. When my personal foundation is rocky, I'm willing to believe what others think, but now that I've honestly gotten to know myself better, I don't think about it as much. This article actually helped me a bit: http://waitbutwhy.com/2014/06/taming-mammoth-let-peoples-opinions-run-life.html
That's just one of the effects of anxiety. A lot of people suffer from it but some more so than others. But it's quite natural!
Because if you are negatively judged, you may become isolated and alone. I know this from personal experience. When I came out as bisexual a lot of my friends became uncomfortable around me and eventually stopped talking to me. To this day I'm still very careful of the words I say, things I do, and the things I let people know about me for fear of being negatively judged.
We don't want to get judged, because it really hurts, and it makes you feel like you aren't good enough.
Because society is mean, and whatever we do is never enough, or wrong. Unfortunately, people don't understand how much words and judgements hurt...
I fear being judged because i always believe that im not good enough. Im scared that other people will validate that feeling so i avoid being judged. I didnt always feel this way, when i was young i didnt ever consider what others thought of me. I have no idea why i do now.
Because we see it happen or have had it happen to us before. People are mean, and we want to defend ourselves from it but we get worried. People tells us to just ignore it, but with anxiety and depression, it makes it 10x harder.
Why do we care about it is the question. We shouldn't be scared of judges because we know who we are
I guess sometimes, we worry that we might not be good enough. The fear of being judged might just be a deviation that comes from the fear of not fitting in and that's all we want as Human beings, to belong and be accepted.
I think being judged makes us feel like we have somehow failed. We have failed at being something we didnt know we should be. So we are confused and scared, becuase we arent really sure.
It can possibly be your anxiety! It's not and to have anxiety and it's not you. You're disorder is not you, you're completely separate from your disorder :)
If we are fearful of judgement, we are usually rooting ourselves in outside perspectives instead of owning our full self. This is usually a root of a self esteem issue and searching for approval from others instead of searching for approval within. If that is not the case, we find that we are in fact the ones judging ourselves by standards that we have issues with personally.
We are raised in a society of formalities and rules. If we do not adhere to those aforementioned criteria we are considered outcasts and undesirables. This creates a divide in our society wherein peoples who are different, unique or trouble are lead to believe they are in some way lesser people or indeed not people at all. This causes us as humans to fear doing anything that might go against social norms or the given societal morality, because we know that if we break these unspoken mandates we will be not only admonished and made to feel worthless but we may as well lose our status or accepted place in a given social group, therein isolating us and further reinforcing the feeling that we do not belong and are again outcast or undesirable.
B.C everyone wants to find their place here andto feel like they belong. Being judged prevents that.
Often times it's easy to let the opinions of others get in the way. Even if you know what you're doing is right, it can feel like it's wrong because of the judgement of other people.
we want people to like us and agree with us and when they don't it upsets us and lowers or self-esteem
If people didn't have any fear of being judged, they would've been rude and acted however they wanted to, whether it be breaking rules or being rude. As an example, why would I have to stand in a line if I didn't care about anyone judging me or people seeing me as someone disrespectful ? As time passes, human pyschology will see no need to be nice if there are no consequences.
I think it's the ego. We want to live up to a certain expectation in society. At the end of the day , I see the different criticisms from others and know that it's okay. The fear of being judge can be stem from childhood abuse where a child don't have the self-esteem by their parents. Not only that, we wouldn't feel that we live up to others' expectations of us. If were judge then we feel that maybe other will gossip negatively about us. Sometimes it's best to accept it as a way to improve ourselves. Good luck!
Because it changes the view that we have of ourselves or redefines us in a way we didn't imagine. People judging us and their expectations could be something we feel we cannot live up to. Other people don't live in our shoes, they have no idea what we can and cannot do or be. I expect this is human nature and judging is an offshoot of more immediate analyzing. I know when you break things down people judge less and understand more. Judging can also make us feel like we don't add up, or haven't lived up to someone else's view of us. That undermines our very being. Could be like a character assault even. Judging is a part of life though, our way of determining if a vaccination is ready to be handed out to the public. We need to realize the source and context of someone judging us. Unfairly judging is what is damaging.
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