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Can or should I ask my significant other to stop talking and to not associate with his ex? If so, how?

159 Answers
Last Updated: 04/22/2020 at 9:52pm
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Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
April 3rd, 2018 7:59pm
Let your significant other know how you feel about it. Don't demand anything, just say "hey this makes me feel uncomfortable", nobody likes feeling compared. Your significant other should understand.
shepppie
April 6th, 2018 7:09pm
That's understandable if that's something you'd want, considering your s.o once loved this person and obviously still has a connection if they're talking to their ex. I believe just bringing it up bluntly and telling them how you feel about them talking to their ex, and how it affects/hurts you is the best way to go about it.
OneMomentInHerPresence
April 27th, 2018 12:57am
If you are worried that your significant other has feelings for his ex or will develop them, you should talk about this with them. I would explain how you feel and see how they feel about it, too.
Helpfulspace
June 13th, 2018 3:40pm
If you don’t trust your partner talking to his ex then speak up about it. You have every right to ask him or discuss it with him. Approach it by telling him how it makes you feel. Be honest and if he really does care about your feelings then he will do whatever to make you happy. Talking about it with him will give you peace of mind and reassurance.
RyGuyListener10
July 12th, 2018 12:37pm
If contact with their Ex has an impact on your feelings, it's important to express that to your significant other. Be respectful in your approach. Once you have been understood, you will know based on their actions what you truly mean to them. Exes are exes for a reason.
tony4200
July 25th, 2018 12:04pm
Relationships with ex-girlfriends and boyfriends can be polarizing issues in relationships; however, many exes have shared a long history with their partners and do indeed develop a friendship after a break-up. Like any issue in a relationship, the partners need to talk honestly about this, and examine whether an ongoing relationship with an ex is appropriate and/or healthy. If it is, there's no reason for concern. If there are residual feelings or longings, then it would likely not be conducive to a good relationship. Honest communication and trust is key.
Anonymous
July 14th, 2016 2:38pm
Just explain that it makes you feel uncomfortable and it upsets you if they truly love you they will understand
Ashley132
July 15th, 2016 10:13am
I think you should let him know how you're feeling, but at the same time you need to trust him, trust that shes his ex for a reason, hes with you now
Anonymous
August 12th, 2016 5:42am
Just tell them that it makes you uncomfortable for them to be talking to their ex and that you don't want them to do it.
compassionateLynx80
August 12th, 2016 11:35pm
I think it highly depends on their relationship. I am still friends with some of my exes and would let that stop. If you feel like there is more than friendship happening, you should bring it up and talk about what is happening and why it makes you feel uncomfortable. Just prohibiting something does not make the problem go away
trashcat
August 18th, 2016 5:13pm
If this bothers you or make you feel bad you should just be honest with your significant other. Of course its not like you can forbid them to interact or talk about their ex but you can ask for it and make clear how this feels for you.
Anonymous
August 21st, 2016 2:05pm
If it makes you uncomfortable he's still talking to her, talk to him about it without telling him to terminate it, leave it up to him or else he'd get defensive.
ContentSoleil
August 31st, 2016 2:01pm
In my experience, that's something that will happen naturally with time. It's super hard to be patient and wait, but for me, that was what ultimately worked. How long to wait before saying something? I honestly thing that depends on how long they were together. The longer they were, the longer it might take for them to get that distance. If they have children together, they will always talk, and that's just something you will have to get used to. Good luck! Stay strong.
sdmvs
August 31st, 2016 3:17pm
Well you should tell him that he has to left that in the past, maybe he has not got over it yet and needs help
FluffyKoalaa7
August 31st, 2016 6:16pm
If the situation makes you uncomfortable, yes you should speak up and let your significant other know how you feel about it.
ListeningisHealing
September 1st, 2016 1:22pm
I think it is important to explore how talking to ex effects you and why that may maybe. After exploring that, you may start with a conversation with your partner about him talking to his ex effects you and the relationship and see where that conversation goes.
RobRH
September 7th, 2016 7:07pm
You should just be open and honest. If something makes you uncomfortable you should be able to say that.
BeautifulOutlaw
September 15th, 2016 9:33am
Yes. If it is something that's bothering you, than I would bring it up. Just tell him that it makes you upset and uncomfortable that he's still speaking to his ex. That they're ex's for a reason. How I see it is, you can't be just friends with someone you once loved. Best of luck sweetie!
cosyheart21
September 21st, 2016 3:00am
If your significant other's relationship with his or her ex truly bothers you, or hinders your relationship, you should definitely talk to them about it. Communication and honesty are key to any relationship.
Anonymous
September 23rd, 2016 8:13pm
Yes, if it makes you uncomfortable. Explain to him/her that though you trust them it still makes you uncomfortable and insecure. Tell them why it makes you uncomfortable . Do it calmly, without getting angry and emotional or accusing them of anything . Explain to them that your insecurity is stronger since they are in touch with their ex
Honeypuffs99
October 2nd, 2016 1:50pm
That depends on how her/his relationship with their ex is. Talk to you bf/gf about how it makes you feel that they are still talking to their ex, and ask if you have any reason to be worried. Make sure you don't accuse them of anything, be understanding, and have faith in them and your relationship. There is a reason they broke up with their ex and are now with you, right?
Anonymous
October 13th, 2016 2:11am
It depends. Is your partner close with this person? If so then No. But you should sit down and talk to him or her about this
smoltimes
October 16th, 2016 2:29am
They have no reason to be speaking with anyone in their past relationships. Tell them how it is making you feel (about them associating w their ex) . Ask them to explain why they are still talking to their ex anyway?
Anonymous
October 18th, 2016 8:42am
Tell them it makes you uncomfortable, and if they don't stop then they obviously don't treasure you.
Anonymous
October 22nd, 2016 1:49am
Yes, politely ask your significant other and discuss with them how it makes you feel. If they don't listen to you, they aren't worth your time.
mattjohn88
October 28th, 2016 12:19pm
This is a very tough topic but a valid question. If there is trust in the relationship then it shouldn't matter who anyone talks to because there will be no fear of infidelity or loss of connection through another. I have had trouble with this myself. My girlfriend and her ex have kids and they have to see each other everyday and at first this realm bothered me. I realized my worries were based in fear and as our relationship grew so did my understanding of the situation. I trust my girlfriend today so who ever she talks to has no bearing on my well being.
Anonymous
November 10th, 2016 10:40pm
Perhaps instead of asking them to stop talking to the ex, maybe you can just start an open conversation with your significant other. Talk to them about how you are feeling when they associate with the ex, and see how they feel about your concerns.
calsee
November 11th, 2016 3:29pm
of course you should , if you're feeling uncomfortable about something in your relationship , it's important that you share your feelings . always be open with one another . just politely sit him down and tell him how you feel about it and that it would make you feel better if he'd rather not associate himself with her .. you're supposed to be one of his top priorities , your feelings should matter to him .
uniquecreature41
November 18th, 2016 6:55pm
You most certainly can if your partner has an ex that is still in their life and it makes you uncomfortable. Yes, they can be friends with their ex but ask yourself what it is that makes you uncomfortable about their continued association. If there are extenuating circumstances, such as illness or they are in some sort of trouble then it might be that they get in touch and in some cases that can be reasonable. But If you feel they are constantly flashing up on your partners phone, just for a chat or whatever, ask them why they think it's ok that they do this. And be clear about why you feel uncomfortable. If your partners ex is breaching the boundaries of your relationship then they are disrespecting you and your partner is also, in allowing this. Don't feel shy about a situation which would make most people unhappy and be clear with your partner about how this makes you feel. But it's also worth reminding yourself that just because you feel uncomfortable in this situation that doesn't automatically make you a crazy jealous person. If you can respect someone else's relationship then your should be respected in return.
XConsolingAngelX
November 23rd, 2016 3:43am
In every relationship there comes a time where the ex is involved. This provides a very great struggle in the relationship. You can calmly explain by giving and I feel message to your partner and letting them know that you do not appreciate that they are speaking with someone that they have been with in a love aspect