Can you forgive someone who left you for someone else ?

4 Answers
Last Updated: 11/06/2018 at 6:28am
1 Tip to Feel Better
South Africa
Moderated by

Claudette Pretorius, MA Counselling Psychology

Licensed Professional Counselor

I know how overwhelming it can feel when you're having a tough time. I offer clients a space that is non-judgemental and empathetic whilst navigating these times together.

Top Rated Answers
October 23rd, 2018 7:31pm
I believe it is possible to feel a sense of forgiveness for the situation and where it brought you, but forgiving that person is not necessary for your growth. I think there is a certain value in embracing the anger and pain as that can bring a lifetime of lessons with it. However harboring that anger forever is unhealthy and can begin to be counter-productive. So do not feel you need to forgive or even forget, but please move forward and appreciate the new you that flourished from it. Eventually you will transform in to a version of yourself that person will never have the pleasure of knowing or loving. If anything, let that be your ‘revenge’. Let the new you speak to your strength and commitment to yourself and your happiness.
October 26th, 2018 1:08pm
Yes you can. Forgiving doesn't mean you're saying it's okay or that you're excusing them for what they have done. It's more so saying "What you did was wrong and it hurt me deeply but I choose to not let you have any control over my life anymore." It's about taking the control back from the person as the longer you give them that power over you, the longer you'll keep hurting. That's what forgiveness is - helping yourself heal and not let the situation hold you back or hurt you any longer as you don't deserve to keep on suffering when the person who walk away isn't suffering. Don't give that person such power over you. Take it back
October 28th, 2018 8:22am
I understand it's difficult to forgive and forget such person but dear.. Remember Getting hurt by someone wasn't your mistake but moving on and healing yourself Is your responsibility. Accept that it happened, Forgive them and move on. U can't start the next chapter of your life if u keep re-reading the previous one. I believe in u dear u can do it. Now.. Make a move for yourself. Take steps to heal yourself.. And remember u deserve all the beautiful things of this world. Love yourself. Nurture yourself. And yeah dear.. U can forgive someone for leaving u.. Do it for your own peace. Love ya.
November 6th, 2018 6:28am
It all starts with yourself. Know that you control you, but can not control others. It is not about forgiving the person, but forgiving the situation. Note that even though he/she left you, that does not minimize your self worth, even though this situation now may make you feel like it. "Time heals all" and it really really does. Taking time to reflect and forgive yourself are crucial. Allow yourself to cry but also allow yourself to be happy. Know that these things unfortunately happen, but they do not mean that you deserve it. Forgive the situation, give it time, allow yourself to be happy. :)