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Can you forgive someone who left you for someone else ?

9 Answers
Last Updated: 10/11/2021 at 1:50am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Melissa Strauss, LPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

I am client focused and believe everyone has a strength. I feel confident in seeing clients with generalized and social anxiety, depression and relational goals.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
October 26th, 2018 1:08pm
Yes you can. Forgiving doesn't mean you're saying it's okay or that you're excusing them for what they have done. It's more so saying "What you did was wrong and it hurt me deeply but I choose to not let you have any control over my life anymore." It's about taking the control back from the person as the longer you give them that power over you, the longer you'll keep hurting. That's what forgiveness is - helping yourself heal and not let the situation hold you back or hurt you any longer as you don't deserve to keep on suffering when the person who walk away isn't suffering. Don't give that person such power over you. Take it back
LoveYaGOD
October 28th, 2018 8:22am
I understand it's difficult to forgive and forget such person but dear.. Remember Getting hurt by someone wasn't your mistake but moving on and healing yourself Is your responsibility. Accept that it happened, Forgive them and move on. U can't start the next chapter of your life if u keep re-reading the previous one. I believe in u dear u can do it. Now.. Make a move for yourself. Take steps to heal yourself.. And remember u deserve all the beautiful things of this world. Love yourself. Nurture yourself. And yeah dear.. U can forgive someone for leaving u.. Do it for your own peace. Love ya.
brthoughts
October 23rd, 2018 7:31pm
I believe it is possible to feel a sense of forgiveness for the situation and where it brought you, but forgiving that person is not necessary for your growth. I think there is a certain value in embracing the anger and pain as that can bring a lifetime of lessons with it. However harboring that anger forever is unhealthy and can begin to be counter-productive. So do not feel you need to forgive or even forget, but please move forward and appreciate the new you that flourished from it. Eventually you will transform in to a version of yourself that person will never have the pleasure of knowing or loving. If anything, let that be your ‘revenge’. Let the new you speak to your strength and commitment to yourself and your happiness.
empathicRiver85
November 6th, 2018 6:28am
It all starts with yourself. Know that you control you, but can not control others. It is not about forgiving the person, but forgiving the situation. Note that even though he/she left you, that does not minimize your self worth, even though this situation now may make you feel like it. "Time heals all" and it really really does. Taking time to reflect and forgive yourself are crucial. Allow yourself to cry but also allow yourself to be happy. Know that these things unfortunately happen, but they do not mean that you deserve it. Forgive the situation, give it time, allow yourself to be happy. :)
Anonymous
June 9th, 2020 3:33pm
It is difficult to forgive someone who left you for someone else but it is extremely important for your own inner peace. Accepting reality makes it easy to forgive someone who has wronged ourselves. Also, we can't force someone to love us. The best thing to do in such a situation would be to accept the fact and forgive the person as time passes because time is the biggest healer. What seems impossible before moving on years ago becomes possible after a few years pass. And in my personal opinion, forgiving not only helps us find inner-peace but also is healthy for our mental health. Because as long as you ponder over that particular matter neither the person who left you nor the person for whom they left you would be suffering but you alone. Once you forgive that person, you will be at peace. It will definitely take some time but it is totally worth it.
crustlove
October 11th, 2021 1:50am
If I love the person, yes I can. I know that when you forgive someone, you genuinely have to listen and work on trust together. It wont be easy but taking the correct steps is necessary to ensure a stronger relationship for the future. For example if infidelity were to occur, I imagine that one or both people in the relationship were having problems. The act of cheating doesn't just happen overnight. I mean, physically yes.. it happens overnight but the thought of the cheater had already been growing for whatever reason. Many couples interpret cheating differently. So it really just depends.
Anonymous
August 24th, 2020 12:19pm
Forgiveness is a personal choice, you don't have to forgive anyone unless you absolutely want to. If you feel that forgiving them helps your personal peace of mind, then by all means, feel free to do so. Forgiveness is a strength, not a weakness. To be able to forgive and move forward can help with the healing process, even as a means of 'letting go' of what no longer is part of your life. Shedding old skin like a snake does, and moving onward with your life. So, it is entirely possible but the choice is yours whether or not you do.
talkswithariba
August 25th, 2020 3:03am
Forgiveness is a choice. Of course you could forgive someone who hurt you, and at the same time, if you don't want to forgive them, that's totally fine too. Forgiveness can help you move on, it can help you leave the past behind and move forward. There's this quote that I've seen in many posts: "forgive but never forget", and I think this explains everything. Forgiving and forgetting are two different things. One makes you the bigger person and the other can lead you to failure. To forgive is a good thing, but forgetting and trusting the same person twice is foolishness.
AmarahSofia
September 29th, 2020 7:42am
Yes. But forgiveness actually takes time. It may take months or years but still you can forgive them. It is not healthy for someone to keep anger and let it grow. We cannot be happy and live with hatred because it keeps us go crazy. It will gives us reason to overthink, questioned our selfworth, makes us compared ourselves to somebody else. It does not feels good after all. What we have to do is to accept. Acceptance may not be that easy to do but it is the only way to heal all wounds. Just take your time to heal and eventually let your anger go, and just be happy.