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Does it hurt more to have someone and lose them, or to never have them at all?

32 Answers
Last Updated: 03/22/2021 at 12:30am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United Kingdom
Moderated by

Halayma Khatun, M.A Theology(U.K, UAE), Diploma With Distinction in Counseling, Certification trauma abandonment

Counselor

Compassionate, patient, experienced depression counselor. I use Psychodynamic counseling techniques. My counseling experience is +8 years, I counsel women.

Top Rated Answers
ObjectiveRationale
November 20th, 2017 9:00am
This is a philosophical question of the ages. Some people might say that if you never have them at all, you never really know what you're missing. Ignorance is bliss, if you will. But if you have someone and lose them, you've had the opportunity to feel a connection and love that you wouldn't have otherwise had, and it may have enriched your life. There is no right answer for this one.
Yukihiko
March 22nd, 2021 12:30am
It depends on how you see it. Having someone and losing them leaves a hole in your heart. Not having them at all could make you feel you've missed all the opportunities you could've experienced with the person. In my experience, having someone and then losing them hurts more, because it's like putting on a new fake tooth only to have it ripped away again. It damages me a little bit more every time that happens. On the other side, imagining all the possibilities you could have with the person could lead you into spiralling thoughts, sometimes even fixating on the person.