Does it hurt more to have someone and lose them, or to never have them at all?
Last Updated: 03/22/2021 at 12:30am
Halayma Khatun, M.A Theology(U.K, UAE), Diploma With Distinction in Counseling, Certification trauma abandonment
Compassionate, patient, experienced depression counselor. I use Psychodynamic counseling techniques. My counseling experience is +8 years, I counsel women.
Top Rated Answers
This is a philosophical question of the ages. Some people might say that if you never have them at all, you never really know what you're missing. Ignorance is bliss, if you will. But if you have someone and lose them, you've had the opportunity to feel a connection and love that you wouldn't have otherwise had, and it may have enriched your life. There is no right answer for this one.
It depends on how you see it. Having someone and losing them leaves a hole in your heart. Not having them at all could make you feel you've missed all the opportunities you could've experienced with the person. In my experience, having someone and then losing them hurts more, because it's like putting on a new fake tooth only to have it ripped away again. It damages me a little bit more every time that happens. On the other side, imagining all the possibilities you could have with the person could lead you into spiralling thoughts, sometimes even fixating on the person.
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