Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

He cheated on his girlfriend with me. Why is he ignoring me?

209 Answers
Last Updated: 05/12/2022 at 9:56am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Penny Dahlen, Ed.D., LPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

I am committed to helping you find your passion, heal old wounds, and flow smoother in all aspects of your life path! I use a compassionate listening approach.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
July 6th, 2019 11:58pm
He probably feels sorry for what he did to his girlfriend. Maybe he feels guilty now and wants to forget about you so that he can live his life without thinking about what happened too much.
Squishy221
July 25th, 2019 2:38am
he cheated on his girlfriend with you and is now ignoring you? have you possibly considered that he might have regretted what he did and is back with his girlfriend or might be doing the same thing with another women who isn't his girlfriend or you.let me just say any man who cheats on his girlfriend probably wouldn't have a problem doing it again and isn't worth even fighting over. it would be better to end things before things get even more complicated. but remember this is your decision to make and you should be the one who knows what the next step is to finding a solution. I hope you find the answer to your question
Anonymous
August 1st, 2019 12:33pm
There could be many reasons why, but it's most likely since he realized what he's done to his girlfriend was wrong and regrets doing it and wants to change that, or he feels bad about it. I would move on, even if moving on is hard if you have genuine feelings for him, being someone's side piece is really unfair for you.
Anonymous
January 8th, 2020 3:07am
He could be ignoring you because he feels guilty of his actions, hurting you in the process. He did something that can be unforgivable to someone who loved him. He could either be a bad person or you are a reminder of his bad actions. Regret is a strong emotion, and so is guilt. It is not your fault that he made a bad choice, thus hurting 2 other people in the process. He could be ignoring you because he is upset at himself but you must not put yourself down because of him. Again, it is not your fault.
Anaiviv01
January 23rd, 2020 1:34pm
There are many reasons for that. He could be regretting his actions, he could be victim of a huge sense of guilt, he could be knowing that he made a mistake. Or, otherwise, he feels that something is broken with her and he's taking time to evaluate if he can build something with you. Speculation is not the best practise, because nobody can read his mind. The best thing you can do is to talk about him about your reasons. Is he ghosting you? Just move on: you deserve someone who's free and truly cares for both you and your feelings.
rachsxo
February 13th, 2020 4:54pm
This is a tough situation for anybody to be in. It's very likely that he probably just feels bad about cheating and wants to get his relationship back on track. He's probably trying to ease his guilt by severing contact with you in order to get back in his girlfriend's good graces. I know it must be confusing for you especially if this had been an ongoing thing and not just something that happened once, but he seems to be prioritizing his girlfriend at the moment which can't be easy for him given that he cheated in the first place.
Anonymous
February 15th, 2020 5:19am
Perhaps he regrets cheating on his partner, not because of a loss of feelings for you, but because of his conscience. The conflict within his heart and mind. Perhaps he realizes that yes, whilst he has feelings for you, that is not the way to go about it all.He feels wrong but doesn't know what to do. If he went out of his way to cheat on his girlfriend, it means he really likes you or love you. But, at the same time, he knows that it was wrong to cheat on that poor girl. Don't worry. Just go up and ask him yourself as to why he is ignoring you.
Anonymous
February 15th, 2020 2:42pm
It is not your fault. Maybe he is having some personal issues he needs to sort out himself. If he puts you into a negative mood or doesn’t make you feel good, don’t be afraid to say no to him because your happiness is much more important then him cheating on his On girlfriend , what you have to do is put yourself in his girlfriends shoes and wonder how she felt when she heard she was being cheated on by her boyfriend , she must’ve have been so devastated to hear that, so maybe he is feeling the guilt at the moment
Anonymous
March 25th, 2020 1:27am
He may have been deeply insecure about his initial relationship. It seems that he's processing his feelings. I want you to know its not your fault, whatever he's doing is his choice. Now this could go a multitude of ways. I think you should figure out your feelings for him, if their genuine or an adrenaline moment. That should put things into perspective for the both of you. The fact he cheated on his girlfriend gives an insight into who he is but people can change. Be open minded but figure out your stance on the situation and him as a person.
JacoEM
April 17th, 2020 5:21pm
There could be a lot of reasons. It depends on the context of the situation. Was it only a physical thing, was it also emotional? Now, it depends also on the frequency. Was it a one time thing or was it something continuous? It is time to really pay attention to see if what he said were his intentions matches his actions. It is likely that he's ignoring you because he feels regret and does not know to deal with it. It could also be because he is confused and is unsure as to which will be the next step between you two and between his girlfriend and him. And unfortunately, sometimes the infidelities are only a one time thing and does not imply that he was looking for something else. Either way, remember to give the importance and attention to people according to what they have earned.
HeatherLeah
June 25th, 2020 6:04pm
It could be multiple reasons. He could potentially be in denial about what happened, he could be feeling guilty and avoiding you lets him pretend it didn't happen, he could be assessing what he wants to happen, or he could genuinely be unable to speak with you. What lead up to this situation? Who initiated the affair? Why? What is it that you hope will happen? Is that the best course of action for you? For him? What would you consider the best outcome for this situation? Do you have any underlying apprehensions about what happened (other than him ignoring you now)?
IncredibleRainbows
September 4th, 2020 3:07pm
Cheating on someone does not take a toll only on the cheated, but on the cheater as well, just in a different fashion. Processing his gesture, going through the stage of regret, maybe coming to terms with the fact that he made a mistake - these may all be things he is struggling with right now, and he needs to be alone. Maybe he lost his girlfriend because of this and he wants to mourn, so to speak. Maybe he regrets what he has done and does not want to see you at that moment, because seeing you would only trigger him and make him break down.
affinity17
September 16th, 2020 2:25pm
Regret is usually the correct answer. People make mistakes and regret them later. Cheating is always a very guilty act. If you participate in someone cheating on their significant other, you may want to take some time to consider your self worth. You deserve so much better than someone who is willing to cheat on their partner for you because what makes you think they won't do the same to you? You need to know your value and respect yourself enough to go for someone who will treat you with that same respect. Don't pursue someone who wants to keep you as a sidechick.
Anonymous
October 28th, 2020 5:19pm
Cheating can bring up a lot of feelings, what may feel like no big deal to one person is a big deal to another. There may be many reason for his silence, he may still love his girlfriend and he has a lot of confusing emotions such as guilt but still love. My recommendation is to give him time, let him know that you are here if he wants to talk. But depending on the relationship you want from him, either a boyfriend or a friend, he may just never get back to you. But you are worth more than a man who would cheat on his girlfriend.
Anonymous
November 29th, 2020 9:14pm
Sometimes they just need some time to think. Think about breaking it off with his girlfriend, or telling you that you need to stop (you meaning you AND him). You shouldn't have let him cheat on her in the first place with you. I know that it would've been hard, but guys will be guys and be their perverted selves. They can't do anything about it, but society will tell you that you had to do something about it, and not the guy. The guy can do whatever the heck that he wants to do. If he is ignoring you than drop his sorry butt because he isn't worth it. No guy is ever worth it.
JoshOfTheHills
February 27th, 2021 1:38pm
If he cheated on her with you, but is still with her, then it's likely that his interest in you was only to cheat with you. In my experience, young men can become very misguided with how they view relationships and only maintain a semblance of commitment -- I say this because I was that way at one time and a lot of guys I knew were, too. If he was willing to cheat on his girlfriend with you, it may be worth considering whether his attention is worth anything, because even if he leaves her with you he's just as likely to cheat on you as well. Commitment is hard, but it is worth it in the long run, and you owe it to yourself to find someone who isn't cheating with you to find love with.
LittleFlower01
March 13th, 2021 7:32pm
Most who cheat on their partners might feel guilty talking to the person they're cheating with. A girlfriend is a bestfriend, a lover, someone they trust and respect, and perhaps when they realize that they're going to hurt their girlfriend or have already hurt their girlfriend, they cut off ties to try to make things right again. If he cheated and is now ignoring, then it probably means he was simply looking for a bit of an escape, thought that he would be happy with his choice, but then learned the hard way that what he thought would have made him happy didn't do that at all in fact, quite the opposite.
SpreadJoyAndLove
May 19th, 2021 10:58pm
It's hard to say why he's ignoring you without having spoken to him directly so I won't speculate as to why that might be. Whatever his reasons, though, if he won't talk to you it may be best to let that situation go. That's easier said than done, so in the meantime, think about if you want to keep associating with someone who is willing to cheat on his girlfriend? Are you willing to deal with someone who may not communicate well (or at all-assuming he decides to reach back out to you)? Are you willing to stay in the situation if he decides he doesn't want to leave his girlfriend?
WarriorPrincess16
June 25th, 2021 2:07am
If he is cheating on his girlfriend with you, then he may be going through inner turmoil. Cheating on someone often eludes to issues within the relationship, as well as possibly internal conflict (of the person who is cheating on the other). If he is ignoring you, he may be going through an internal struggle and wondering if what he did (cheating) was morally correct and how he feels about it. It is highly possible that he feels remorse, and thus cut off ties with you due to the guilt and regret. If he is ignoring everyone, including you, he may be facing a personal issue in his life. It all depends on who he is as a person, the context, and his moral compass.
Anonymous
July 7th, 2021 5:51pm
There are many reasons someone might start ignoring a person after cheating on their partner with that person. Unfortunately, it is difficult to discern the exact reason they aren't responding without them telling you, but some reasons might be that they've become unavailable, they don't know how to communicate or don't want to communicate, or their circumstances might necessitate a break of communication. For instance, they might need to stop communicating if they have feelings or regrets and want to sort through their emotional states on their own. Also, if they've decided to go back to their partner, their partner may have asked them to stop communicating with the person or people they have cheated with, because cheating involves deception between partners, and moving on after cheating requires partners to rebuild trust. Whatever the reason, now might be a good time to stop focusing on this person, and give yourself love and self-care. This way, if you are hurt or upset from being ignored, you can start your journey toward healing.
amiablePicture9943
August 5th, 2021 3:07pm
It seems that you are mainly frustrated due to him ignoring you or maybe curious to see if he may also be hiding something from you as he did with her. Do you think that it could be something to do with any possible insecurities in the relationship? And are you still comfortable to be in a relationship with someone that you know now is unfaithful. As far as him ignoring you goes, it could possibly be that he is overwhelmed with the anger and frustration coming from his girlfriend so he is choosing to cut out more people from his life right now. Could you tell me what may be the current emotions you are going through?
BeautifulSun298501
September 1st, 2021 4:01pm
I think when this happens there can be a lot of factors. He may have got caught and there is shame of him seeing your face, or of the girlfriend or wife leaving if he continues the behavior. Also, he may not have felt that what he had with you was serious enough to warrant further connection, or to permit you closure. The answer here can be tricky because of the very nature of the relationship. A man or woman that would triangulate intimate relationship is creating an element of safety for themselves in case on or the other relationships does not work out. This can compromise either partner and the perpetrator. No one wins in this situation.
SheListens247
October 13th, 2021 8:13pm
I’m sorry to hear you’re feeling ignored, sometimes situations like this can lead to confusing on both sides. Maybe he’s worried about his current girlfriend finding out or he may not want to lead you on and cause further complications for yourself or him. I can imagine this may cause a range of feelings or emotions and even questions from yourself, it’s important to remember that it’s okay to feel this way, you’re aware of the situation and what’s happening. What do you feel would be a good next step progressing forward? Or maybe what would help you feel better?
Anonymous
November 4th, 2021 2:10am
The reason he is ignoring you, is because he is regretting the decision he made by cheating. He realizes that he made a bad choice and is trying to forget that it ever happened. He isn't ignoring you because you did something, he is ignoring you because he did something. Another reason why he would be ignoring you is to separate himself from the situation he has caused and trying to do what is right in his eyes. I'm sure as time goes on and feelings change he will come around again but not in the same manner.
Anonymous
November 21st, 2021 5:35am
Often times, the individual who cheats on their partner is not sound in character. Breaking an active commitment is a red flag, and should not be ignored. If they are still together, his girlfriend may have asked him to cut contact with you in order to rebuild their relationship. If they separated, he may be attempting to regain her love, or simply realized that he needs to work on himself. It is also important to ask yourself if this is a person you truly want to be in contact with you. If he has a history of breaking commitments, it is not reasonable to expect that he would maintain a commitment to consistent communication with you.
Genesis094
December 10th, 2021 6:34pm
The first reason is because he is regretting his decision to cheat over his girlfriend with you. Once you find out that he is regretting his action of cheating over his girlfriend with you, it is better for you to leave him. When you do something bad and you know that it is actually bad there will be an internal conflict in your conscience. He is having the same conflict and still trying to figure out which decision is the right decision for him. Having you as another girl aside from his girlfriend shows that his emotion is not stable and he does not know what decision he should take
multifandombindi
December 12th, 2021 12:04pm
It could possibly be guilt - I mean, if you were in his shoes I'm sure you'd feel indifferent. Sometimes people attempt to avoid the issues affecting them, however it isn't fair for him to completely ignore you and disregard your emotions in this situation. Furthermore, this boy you are talking to honestly doesn't seem like a good person. If he cheated on his partner for you, what exactly are his morals? What's stopping him from doing the exact same thing to you? I say he is untrustworthy and doesn't deserve your time. However, if you really do believe in him and your relationship; ask for clarity on the situation. If he's not willing to talk, then he is not willing to be with you.
Anonymous
April 16th, 2022 5:56pm
It's not good that he cheated--that implies he broke explicit relationship expectations set out with his girlfriend, which disrespects her as a person. I don't know why he's ignoring you. Maybe he's upset about cheating and having second thoughts; maybe you remind him of the cheating. It's possible he's ignoring you for many other reasons: maybe he's tired, work-related, bad communicator, quirks of personality, almost anything. If the cheating is related to the ignoring, maybe he's not invested in you fully. I would ask yourself whether it's worth pursuing more romantic, sexual, intimate, whatever-they-are-interactions with this person at this point. Maybe it's worth taking a break for awhile, centering yourself to figure out what's going on. If that's the case (maybe it's not the case), consider communicating that directly to this person. Take some time for yourself.
Anonymous
May 12th, 2022 9:56am
Did you ask the same question to him while he was cheating his girlfriend? Sometime for sex often people stoop very low and starve for any possibilities out there , the same way he may have used you and you also couldn't resist because of your needs. After realisation they often tend to undo the things temporarily. So since you served his purpose for that moment and he got from you what he wanted, he's moving on but there is possibility that he will come to you again if he will feel the needs. These types of modern relationship nowadays have become needs driven , the dark truth.