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He said I was perfect for him, but he chose someone else?

138 Answers
Last Updated: 04/11/2020 at 4:23am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Melissa Hummelt, LMHC

Licensed Professional Counselor

I am passionate about empowering others, creating awareness around difficult situations, and ultimately supporting people in creating meaningful lives and relationships.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
July 15th, 2016 2:24am
It must be hard right now because you feel as this person was supposed to be there for you because you guys were perfect together but sometimes us as humans we tend to go for things that we think is better for us so the best thing to do is build your self-esteem
peacefulteddy
July 24th, 2016 9:39pm
Well not everyone is perfect, we will all found out perfect half. He probably did that because he thought you didn't feel the same.
Anonymous
August 27th, 2016 9:28pm
Sometimes people get confused as to what to say to let you down easy, he sured tried not to hurt you too much, but it looks like he didn't like you that way after all.
Kaishi29
August 28th, 2016 8:12pm
Maybe he was trying to lessen the blow of not choosing you. Or maybe you were just too perfect for him and he wanted something imperfect. Either case, it's his loss. You get to move on and not be with someone who didn't chose you despite your perfectness.
Brianaishere
September 7th, 2016 10:35pm
We all are human, we say things and we do the opposite. It surely must have nothing to do with you but with their own selves
Anonymous
January 7th, 2017 7:08pm
He was only saying that to soften the blow of the hurt that was inevitably coming. Sugarcoating the branch swing to a different person. It's a horrible feeling being told something like that yet their actions speak an entirely different language, but my advice from personal experience is to watch what they do rather than listen to what they say.
caringFriend21
January 8th, 2017 9:23pm
Boys are immature and indecisive. If he said one thing and did another its not a big shock because boys go through women like kids go through candy once they are tired of one they move onto another. I cannot explain why but they just do. Some do but you have to look for the ones that stick with you no matter what.
Sburns672
February 5th, 2017 2:28pm
It sounds like he wasn't being completely truthful. No one can be perfect for another person, no matter how hard they try, but that is normal and healthy. Many boys will try to sweet talk you by saying you are "perfect" for them. This could be true, but it also mightn't be. Either way, you shouldn't let this person's opinion of you or choices affect your opinion of yourself.
joyfulParadise42
April 1st, 2017 9:26pm
I got through that, too. The thing is boys are always indecisive and easily influenceable. Don't rely to much on their words, they rarely mean them. Look out for their actions rather than words.
Anaiviv01
June 23rd, 2017 7:11am
Perfection is overestimated. People are scared of perfection. Perfection implies accountability and not everyone is ready to be fully responsible for someone else's happiness. It's quite sad, but also human. "You are perfect for me, but this is the wrong time", "you are perfect for me, but I'm not ready"... be perfect for yourself, be your first choice and be someone else's FIRST choice, even if you're not perfect.
Leelove740
September 7th, 2017 4:34am
Sometimes people are indecisive about what they want. Sometimes they aren't truthful in their feelings. I've gone through this situation and realized that if they leave in that manner then they weren't meant to stay and you should let them leave.
amiableUnicorns89
November 19th, 2017 11:57pm
I'm really sorry about that. People do things for different reasons which we may not know. But this does not mean that you are worthless in any way, or that you are not good enough. Respect his decisions, and dont let it weigh you down. Try your best to move on, and spend time doing things that make you happy. all the best!
NotAGod
November 22nd, 2017 2:36am
Then that literally means he wasn't perfect for you. That literally means you are worth more and deserve better.
Loveablebabygirl23
December 7th, 2017 8:16pm
Sounds like basically any guy who isn’t actually ready to hold an actual relationship, he likes the thought of having you around but not actually wanting to be together he’s in it for the sexual thrill
havartilikeits1999
December 8th, 2017 2:14am
Sometimes people don't say what they are truly thinking, or they change their minds. It doesn't mean anything is wrong with you.
Pumpkin74
February 28th, 2018 8:34am
Heartbreaks are the worst but we can not control how others react to situations. Just remember that even the most beautiful and "perfect" women have been heartbroken at some point and this does not mean there is anything wrong with you. It also does not mean the right person will not come along. So, gather up your self-esteem and think about how he missed out on a great person!
highlyintuition1
April 15th, 2018 5:50pm
Sometimes you have to not value or take to heart what others tell you. If you take to heart what spouses or anyone for that matter says to you, you will spend the majority of your life sad miserable etc. it’s trully his lost and if he doesn’t see it that way then that’s his problem not yours. He’s someone else problem now
warmMelon2334
June 26th, 2019 7:25am
he chose someone else because he found someone better than you. let's be frank that people may leave because of they are not happy with us anymore. they leave because they found the happiness in someone else that they did not see in us. but we have to be strong. we have to think that they don't deserve us. God has a purpose why the person is leaving. God has a better plan for us why he allows the person to come in to our lives and just leave. so we may learn, and understand that in this world has no permanent. everything has to change. everything will change. we just have to pray to the Lord our God that He will give us the right one.
Christiana77
July 14th, 2016 1:18pm
Sorry about that! But have you had the chance to ask him why? Is it circumstances beyond his control or was he just saying the lies to make you feel good. You may need to know so you can put your mind at rest and settle that part of your life in order to move on.
Anonymous
July 24th, 2016 10:21pm
I'm not sure how to advise you. He has shown you that you're perfect for him but perhaps not what he was looking for. If you need closure, ask him WHY he chose someone else.
kyralistens
July 25th, 2016 12:00am
I understand what you are going through. If he chose to be with someone else, then you need to live with his choice. If he decides to come to you, then give him a chance, but do not attempt to change his mind once it is already made up.
PointlessQueen
August 21st, 2016 1:55pm
People grow to know themselves, their needs and their preferences better. He might have seen or sees something different now.
wonderousWhisper18
August 27th, 2016 3:45pm
its because he doesnt want to hurt your feeling if you were like he said he will choose you from any one
Anonymous
September 2nd, 2016 2:18am
Maybe he was confused. Some people feel as though more then one person is their fit. Maybe he was in love with that person, but loved you because you guys clicked.
TheTripleS719
September 17th, 2016 9:38pm
Tough as it may be, words can be nothing more than just words. He most likely didn't truly feel that way.
MachineGKyla
September 18th, 2016 2:28am
Boys have a hard time figuring out feelings. Maybe he was just scared that if you go to know him that he'd lose you or maybe he was afraid that he'd hurt you
Anonymous
September 22nd, 2016 5:19pm
He was having issues and wanted to see if the grass is greener on the other side. It could also be that he could'nt make up his mind at that time.
Anonymous
September 26th, 2016 8:09pm
Don't base your self worth of off someone's opinion of you. Be perfect for yourself. Maybe he didn't understand your self worth and that isn't your fault, it's his, for not appreciating everything that you had to offer.
Anonymous
October 7th, 2016 6:40pm
People change. People's tastes also change. Sometimes someone may be perfect for you then a few months later they've changed so much you barely recognise them or you need something else.
HelpWisely
October 19th, 2016 12:23pm
If he choose somebody else then it is certain that you were not the one who he thought was perfect for him. Either he lied to you or he changed his mind when he got to know the other person.