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He said I was perfect for him, but he chose someone else?

171 Answers
Last Updated: 04/16/2022 at 5:48pm
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Lisa Groesz, PhD

Psychologist

With evidenced based therapies, we find the root of the problem together to implement solutions. We all face crises, transitions, or disorders at some time.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
October 7th, 2016 6:40pm
People change. People's tastes also change. Sometimes someone may be perfect for you then a few months later they've changed so much you barely recognise them or you need something else.
HelpWisely
October 19th, 2016 12:23pm
If he choose somebody else then it is certain that you were not the one who he thought was perfect for him. Either he lied to you or he changed his mind when he got to know the other person.
joyousRainfall46
October 21st, 2016 1:11pm
Cause he thought that you are not good for him but in real he is doing a big mistake. he will come to you when he will realize his mistake
handsomeForest17
October 29th, 2016 10:07am
Life is all about change. At one point you must have been perfect for him but unfortunately we humans tend to change with time. So embrace what you are feeling andbe strong while the universe unveils next wonder for you.
Anonymous
November 2nd, 2016 8:41pm
Not all people are able to communicate their emotions effectively. May be he was scared to tell you that he was thinking of someone else or it's also possible that he may fell as not being good enough for you.
Anonymous
November 6th, 2016 6:50pm
Sometimes people say things they dont mean in the spur of the moment. Maybe he meant that at the moment but you never really know someone is perfect for you its just in your gut if they really are or not.
Lizzenah1
November 17th, 2016 6:45am
Sometimes people have to choose between what they want and what they need. It may be heart breaking to someone but it is just how it is sometimes. What you need to accept is that they have made their choice regardless of what they said in the past, you need to make your future without wishing on or in the past. What is to happen will.
Anonymous
January 12th, 2017 2:28pm
It happens in life, don't worry. You will find someone who actually is determined to share their life with you, and acts upon their words. Be patient and life will bring you someone who you deserve. :)
IntrovertedPandaNZ
February 15th, 2017 2:00pm
Sometimes perfection isn't what people are after. Flaws make things interesting, makes things feel... human. Although, I wouldn't change your personality, it would make things feel too synthetic.
helpmeHelpyou61
March 25th, 2017 5:42pm
We go through a process of change everyday. Many things change, our choices, our thinking our way of life. What he did was done within his reasoning capability. If he chose someone else there might be a reason behind it. There is a possibility that the realisations may fade. I hope that he ended it within reason. But no matter what he does, he has no right to leave you high and dry. And you have the right to ask for an explanation. But if you have all that, what you need is to move on. The past always is attractive because it is familiar to us and that's why we still remember things and try to think about it over and over again but you have to realise that you can't change the past, its the present that holds myriad opportunities. You will find someone who will choose you over anyone else but for that to happen you have to let this one go.
TheWarmestNortherner
April 12th, 2017 11:05pm
Sometimes people express themselves based on want the recipient want to hear. And although its usually a well intended gesture, its also the ones that hurt the most.
rosielop
April 13th, 2017 7:14pm
The mind of people is as crazy as a big city, sometimes we say things without thinking the real meaning of it, sometimes you have to let go what others say, you were perfect for that version of him, but his mind changed and is not your fault because the only thing that matter is the love you have for yourself, you are perfect, unique and someone is gonna love all the things you are without asking you for any change.
Anonymous
April 21st, 2017 7:52pm
People are allowed to choose their own happiness over yours. It doesn't make what he did any more justifiable. You were perfect for him at the time, people change. Just because you weren't his perfect does not mean you aren't perfect.
Anonymous
April 27th, 2017 10:27pm
Getting over him will be very difficult to do at first, but just give things time. Eventually you will find someone who genuinely loves and cares for you and won't do something like this to you.
crispNight40
May 13th, 2017 12:53am
He may have meant it but changed his mind, lied to make you feel better, his heart didn't again with his brain, he made a mistake, or a million other reasons. No matter how great you think someone is, if they can't see how great you are (and aren't willing to treat you like that,) then they aren't for you, and that's okay. You deserve someone who is excited to be with you, and anyone else isn't worth worrying about!
grintaehyung
May 14th, 2017 7:27am
It's a confusing way of rejection. They shower you with compliments but end up choosing another. Maybe you were perfect but your compatibility with him is not really “perfect”.
Anonymous
June 1st, 2017 7:51am
Being perfectly made for each other refers to the same likes and dislikes. But choosing a person as a life partner is different. It is wanted by heart. It never sees the things that match. It always works with the opposites. It is fair to say you were perfect for him and choose any other girl.
lovedreamlive
June 10th, 2017 4:52pm
Believe that he fully meant it, at the time. People's needs, desires, values, and likes change over time, because we are all consistently evolving. This is why even couples that have been married for decades file for divorce. The truth is that people evolve and sometimes outgrow each other, and that is ok, because it is how life works.. There is no guarantee in love, and its not ok to hold someone else back, or hold yourself back for anyone. You had your chance, unfortunately, it didn't work out, so give yourself time and space to heal, and believe that you will find someone else who truly values you, just as you are. Staying strong, believing in yourself, taking care of yourself, enjoying ways to enjoy your freedom, and finding ways to be happy now, will raise the likelihood of finding someone who is really meant for you. Wish you the best, stay strong, and don't lose hope.
colourfulEars95
July 22nd, 2017 11:30am
People sometimes do not think about what they say or what those words could do to someone, so when they utter something as intense (for lack of a better term) your perfect, to them its just another way to make you feel happy in that moment. So when they decide to choose someone over you they might not even remember saying something like that to you.
Anonymous
August 10th, 2017 2:43pm
People's opinions change and it is a natural and normal way of human behaviour. It is possible to ask him if he is willing to elaborate on what has changed and why he is no longer interested in you, but he is not obliged to give you a response. Remember that this does not reflect at all on you or your lacking but simply revolves around the relationship and chemistry between the two of you.
radiantTruth95
August 19th, 2017 9:42pm
People change their minds or they realize they are looking for something different. It's not your fault! Find people with similar hobbies and interests.
Anonymous
November 10th, 2017 1:02pm
And someday you will choose someone else. And be happy again in your life on your New path in life.
Anonymous
November 22nd, 2017 10:01pm
You will probably experience a lot of those! No matter how old, or young you are. He did love you, just maybe you guys wasn't meant for each other.
Listener1995
December 13th, 2017 9:35am
I’m really sorry that’s happened to you. I understand how much that hurt. Boys sometimes try and fingers out what they want but don’t go about it the best way. Please don’t blame yourself. You did nothing wrong. You aren’t to blame and you are worth more then how you feel. He isn’t worth your time, love and respect. You’ll find someone that’s right for you
JJill1
January 24th, 2018 6:58am
Well dear, this can be a very tough situation. We all deal with heartbreak, and sometimes it doesn't always work out for one person, whatever the reason is. It's never a fun part of life :( Sometimes, "love" doesn't always stay or wasn't truly there in the first place. This is very dependent on individual situations and people..
Hope39
February 7th, 2018 7:35pm
then he never knew your true worth and value. someone who believes you are perfect for them will not move on to someone else
Anonymous
February 9th, 2018 6:16pm
My boyfriend told me he loved me. The next day, he said “he just wanted to be friends”. Honestly, boys are just as insecure as society says girls are but no one wants to accept it. I 100% support “girls support girls” but really, it should be “everybody supports everybody”. Boys will always be confusing to me. I don’t really know why and I don’t think we’ll ever find out why. And love will always be hard but it isn’t meant to be easy. In the end, you have to make sure that you love yourself and not let a boy ruin you.
rationalFriend2400
February 28th, 2018 10:11pm
Maybe he just changed his mind? The male species is a complicated one... I’m sure he still cares about you!
Anonymous
March 1st, 2018 9:13am
You are perfect and you dont need any boy to not make you feel that way leave him find someone new , someone better because you are you and you are perfect
Dreamer42
March 28th, 2018 3:14pm
There can be a lot of possible reasons why he chose someone else. Maybe he was afraid to not be good enough for you or maybe he's not capable of loving you enough. But do not be discouraged about this, you are more than this experience and you will meet better guys in the near future. :)