How can I stop being controlled?
Last Updated: 12/06/2021 at 6:44am
Sarah Robb, LISW-S (Licensed Independent Social Worker, Supervisor Designation) and LICDC (Licenced Chemical Dependency Counselor)
Clinical Social Work/Therapist
Difficult roads often lead to beautiful destinations. Life poses many challenges. Learning to face, cope with, and resolve these challenges can increase our resilience.
Top Rated Answers
No matter you're age or where you are in life you will always be controlled. Whether it be a parent, a teacher, a boss when your working, No matter what you just have to accept it.
If you are allowing yourself to be controlled, you are receiving something out of the relationship. With boundary issues--a boundary is an exchange of resources between individuals--you have to examine whether the exchange is healthy or unhealthy. If the exchange is unhealthy, then, well . . . the relationship has to be modified or removed. It is like the old adage, "sometimes we know what we need to do; we are just not willing to do it."
Standing up for yourself in a appropriate manner lets the controlling person know that it bothers you, sometimes the person doesn't know. Failing that, recognize if this person does hold legitimate power over you. If they don't, then it's more of a mental prison and you have to take responsibility for breaking free from control.
Tell someone. Put your own actions into your own hands and do what's best for you. Being controlled is not good.
Communicate with the person and come to a compromise. Anyone who loves and cares about you will listen and respect what you want as well as what they want. But controlling behavior is honestly abusive if the person is being disrespectful and/or unkind. If you can, break away from the relationship if things are not working out. I am concerned for you, and would like to chat. Message me if you want to talk about anything and everything. Good luck!
The number one lesson that I have learned in life from therapy is to set boundaries. By setting boundaries with people, I found that I felt a lot less controlled. It was bit hard to do at first because I was not used to putting my foot down and telling people that they had to not treat me badly or expect unrealistic expectations from me. A lot of people in my life were using guilt as a way to control me. They knew that if they made me feel guilty that they would get me to do things that I did not want to. By setting boundaries, I was also able to voice what it was that I wanted and what I did not want. Eventually people backed off and I was in control of my life.
Depends who is controlling you. Often times, you just need to realize that your decisions are your decisions.
Sometimes its hard to take a stand, to be stronger than those controlling us, to be independent and assertive when faced with constant belittlement and dominance; its important to recognize your true nature, to be mindful of your internal strengths, confidence, self-esteem, pride and integrity; to use these characteristics, tools, and concepts for your own advantage in an effort to overcome being controlled. Making a statement is essential; its important to find some kind of power to break being controlled, and feeling helpless or unworthy. With faith, self trust, and determination, one can escape the griping grasp of control.
If you are being controlled by someone then if you can talk to that someone about it will be good, else leave. If you are controlling yourself then find out where in the first place the controlling attitude came from and deal with it.
To be able to stop being controlled, just put your foot down, and be confident as much as you can, tell them that you are no longer their toy to be controlled, do this in an assertive way.
You can stop being controlled by empowering your self physically and mentally. Working towards ones goal honestly without taking handouts and opportunities that requires owing or obligation beyond the regular.
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