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How can I stop thinking about him/her? Why my heart hurts so much?

264 Answers
Last Updated: 12/19/2021 at 2:53pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
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Theresa Gulliver, Registered Clinical Counsellor


Problems cannot be solved using the same level of thinking that created them. We must try something different. Gently, we turn your challenges into opportunities for healing.

Top Rated Answers
April 29th, 2016 6:28am
Nothing can ease a heartache. It can only be controlled by averting the thoughts, something that keeps the mind off the person. But it never fully goes away. It simply gets less painful each day, as long as you realize that you need your mental sanity to function as a human, instead of putting your faith and happiness on someone who isn't worth it.
May 18th, 2016 2:32pm
Broken hearts are tough indeed, but if they did something bad to you, then you need to move on. They aren't going to change. Don't let yourself agonize over it.
March 25th, 2016 12:26am
Find healthy ways to cope, remember that your feelings are valid, and stay positive! Remember people are out here to listen to and try and help as well.
April 11th, 2016 9:58am
I do my exercise to release the pain. Beat that hurts with something positive. beside that do socially meet up with others. share laugh and positive minds.
April 15th, 2016 7:34pm
Your heart hurts because you - probably - loved him/her truly, this feeling is called longing! How can you stop thinking about him/her? Start thinking about something (but never someone) else. Your work, your college or school, the point is BE BUSY! Gradually, you will think of him/her less frequently. Finally, if you really loved him/her, you won't be able to forget, but at least it won't hurt!
April 28th, 2016 2:04am
Its hard to stop thinking about another when you are so in love. But maybe taking your mind of things by doing things you like may be a good start. Your heart hurts because someone has made an impact on your life and sometimes the thought of living without them causes not only emotion hurt but it may feel like your heart "breaks".
May 12th, 2016 8:59pm
You are hurting because you really cared about them... maybe you can go and enjoy some time with your friends
June 3rd, 2016 5:36pm
To stop thinking about him/her just ask your self was he/she worth it to get my attention just think of people who loves more than anybody like your parents . family and friends. So think about them instead of that stranger.. You are not in love its just attraction which will go after sometimes.. But true love like your father/mother love always remember the same
March 23rd, 2017 8:37pm
It can be hard to get your mind off of someone, but from my personal experience the best thing to do is to either a) distract yourself by doing activities you love or b) track your feeling every day using a journal and how you feel each time you engage with the person. It helps and you'll eventually be fine i promise :)
May 7th, 2017 12:24pm
See your friends, remove social media evidence of them, talk to someone on 7cups, take care of yourself. You can not switch of thinking about someone, it will take time but you will get there! Heartbreak is an awful awful thing but you will be okay before you know it, even if you don't believe it now.
June 25th, 2017 3:21am
It's alright. Heart hurts because it loved once. And it's okay . Its okay to not feel okay during such times. Start distracting yourself in doing activities you love doing and make sure you socialize more and more, that would help you to move on to a certain extend. and then time would play its role. :)
June 30th, 2017 10:33am
The heart is a tricky organ, it keeps you alive and kills you all at the same time. Sometimes it is best to accept that you will have thoughts about them from time to time. If you tell yourself "do not think about them" you are really forcing yourself to do just that. Accept that you may and talk to someone you feel you can trust when you do have thoughts. Eventually as time goes by you will find yourself having less and less thoughts, and the ones you do still have will be less and less important to you. It will get easier, reach out if you feel you need to talk. There are plenty of listeners here for you.
June 28th, 2018 11:19am
Sleep. Occupy mind with something,. Exercise till u drop. Go into an enclosed place or open space and scream.
October 19th, 2018 8:46am
Yeah its absolutely natural to being in love someone , or like someone . its never be in your hand to love someone. Love is somewhat like unconditionally ,its donot see religion colour caste or anything its a basic connection by heart only . but its not necessary that u can get someone to whom u love or might be possible that she \ he would torn your feelings as well . but that's doesnt mean love is bad or never do again . love is the most precious things of the world who holds u tightly . if someone doesn't accept your love dont worry be optimistic about that the next person actually never deserve your love and feelings . I know its very painful to forget and move on but believe me the soon u get of out it the more u see yourself better and can Buck up yourself as well by confidence what u gain after this, that life doesn't ends here if next person has refused your love . u must keep strive for better love partner and believe in that somebody is there who made for you , who deserves u actually . who holds your hands unconditionally and that confidence will payback u definitely in future 😊
January 26th, 2020 8:38am
I don't think I could stop thinking about the people I love or have loved, because Love is a strong emotion we identify with as humans and I think its the essence of life, so if someone ever was loved by me, I doubt I could just forget them and not hurt because naturally we would want to be with people we love and to be wanted by them, and not having that happen is a tragic place to be in. And understandably we would then be consumed by their thoughts and their absence. I think with a good structure in life and time to build on a different future and a better future with hope for love to find its way back in our life might be how we can not be consumed by this loss, and that structure or acceptance can be different for everyone which will help them heal and cope.
March 31st, 2016 11:10pm
Thinking about that person makes anyones head hurt. If you find an activity that can help reduce thinking about them it helps.
April 3rd, 2016 5:09am
Finding a new hobby to take your mind off a breakup is always a possibility. Talking to someone about it can help just as much.
April 13th, 2016 10:26pm
You are probably very attracted to said person, I have experienced a similar feeling, the best way to move on is carefully and at your own pace
April 20th, 2016 10:06pm
You can find an activity that you enjoy. Something to escape and keep your mind off things. A safe place.
April 27th, 2016 2:44pm
I had the same experience as you do. What I do is talk to my friend every time I think about him. Also, it's good to write a journal entry. I write a journal entry as if I am talking to him. I tell him everything I feel, the sadness, the disappointment and the fear I feel being alone. It's ok to feel sad, you'll eventually come to the point where you accept and meet someone who'll keep you busy and make you happy again. As for now, give yourself sometimes to be lonely. thinking about the person we once shared our life is just normal, but do something productive and try to keep yourself busy. Go out with friends or take a trip by yourself. That's what I do.
May 6th, 2016 12:20am
You can stop thinking about that person if you find a new hobby to work for. Its natural to make your heart hurt because we are human afterall :)
May 8th, 2016 10:16pm
It's called heart break. It will take a lot of time to get over but you will. Just be patient and keep yourself physically active. Do things you genuinely enjoy.
May 18th, 2016 8:21am
You're holding onto the past moments instead of living in the present. You're the one in charge of what happens next
May 25th, 2016 2:07pm
i can stop thinking about others by thinking about myself first. After what i went thru the last 3 years, i realized at the end of everything - i have myself. And if i cannot focus and put myself as a priority then i will be at a lost. Your heart hurts because you have an overwhelming emotional attachment to that person. Accept that the pain is necessary to teach life lessons, understand that the pain is temporary and will go away. Writing down emotions will ease the heart ache.
May 25th, 2016 8:03pm
Because he or her gave you so much to remember- happiness, moments, presents- and now it's hard to forget this. Your heart has to accept this. Meet some friends, talk to them about this, enjoy life. Eat chocolate, this should help.
February 23rd, 2017 10:28pm
Try to do things that you like and focus on yourself. Do stuff that makes you happy. Learn to love yourself.
April 12th, 2018 11:58am
Focus on yourself things you like to do. Find yourself a passion. It hurts when you think about it. Get busy in your own life
April 22nd, 2018 1:29pm
Find and do as many positive activities as possible, meet and reconnect with old friends. I can understand what you are going through, you are sad and heartbroken. Hopefully time will heal.
April 27th, 2018 3:23am
Your mind thinks about things that you allow it to. When you need to stop thinking about someone, try cutting off from the person totally - block him/her on all the social media platforms, keep away from any kind of memory you think might remind you of him/her, don't listen to music which might bring memories of the past. Also, try keeping yourself busy throughout the day, surround yourself with friends and family, listen to motivational music, read/watch motivational movies! 'You' are the most important person in the whole world. Focus on yourself.
May 4th, 2018 7:26pm
Breakups are hard. Someday, you'll learn to look at the breakup in a positive light. You'll find the right person and you'll be glad you didn't miss out on the experience.