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How can I stop thinking about my ex?

193 Answers
Last Updated: 06/13/2020 at 10:43pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Alison Humphreys, LCPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

During the therapeutic process, individuals will learn to manage transitions, overcome obstacles and work towards their full potential .

Top Rated Answers
compassionateWaterfall99
February 2nd, 2017 5:32pm
Personally, it took me a long time to get over my ex but i found that going out with friends was the way froward; you know they care and you can rely on them so spending time with them takes your attention away from the past.
Anonymous
February 3rd, 2017 4:58pm
You can't. No amount of distraction, or no advice will make you stop thinking of someone you love(d). But in my experience, if you can love once, you can certainly love again. Sometimes it feels impossible. Sometimes it feels impossible that you could ever imagine a life without them. But here's the thing. There's a reason everyone suggests you distract yourself through work, or hobbies. Because breaking up with someone is quite literally that. It breaks you. And you can't fall in love again if you're broken, or there's a part of you that's missing. So you need to spend some time putting yourself together again. And remind yourself what you really are like. And I'm copying this line from a TV show, but it's been true in my life. This person will probably be the first thing on your mind every day, till one day, they will be the second.
sereneWaterfall24
February 9th, 2017 2:03pm
Letting an old relationship go is not always that easy. Only time can heal all the pain and wash away the feelings one has for their past relatioship.
Anonymous
February 10th, 2017 9:05pm
Keep yourself occupied but give yourself time to heal from the relationship. Keeping your mind busy helps with not thinking about your ex.
xXxEmpathyDollxXx
February 11th, 2017 3:00am
Think about yourself instead! Its hard to have a healthy relationship with someone else when you don't have one with yourself! Create goals, experiment, find your passions and start to create a life you love. When you do the more things that make YOU happy, you have a better chance of finding someone with similar life goals and values.
AshleighAshton
February 17th, 2017 7:49am
Just 4 months ago, I broke up with an ex... But now I'm feeling better and over her. I still think about her she's just now just someone i used to date. I got over her by doing the things I love to do and do it alone. Hanging out with friends is also a good idea and taking walks or just the fresh air itself can help. No use being cooped up at home crying over someone eh? :)
heavenApple41
February 25th, 2017 11:37am
Try not to do anything too irrational, for example, try getting some closure. Talk to him or her, start with a clean slate and then wipe your mind from him. Put all of his things away or give them back to him, put away everything he gave you. Go for a vacation, calm and cleanse your mind and he or she will automatically be out of your mind without you even realising.
richBeauty88
March 4th, 2017 8:32am
I would recommend blocking contact with them, well you don't need to block them but stop checking their social media profiles, get rid of their phone number etc. It's find if you and your ex want to be friends but it can be painful at first, if you experience this just tell them that you need time to heal, they will understand. Distract yourself, what I mean by that is do things you have always wanted to do but never have, go out more, enjoy yourself, meet new people, it will get better.
SpecialKae24
March 17th, 2017 5:02pm
I would recommend focusing your energy on other tasks. What are your hobbies? Is there anything that needs to get done? When you focus your thoughts elsewhere, you begin to think less about your ex.
colorfulUnicorn23
April 23rd, 2017 6:08pm
The best way is to sit and evaluate why the person became the EX in the first place and the day you know that there would be nothing to think about regarding the ex unless you have grudges against them so just forgive and forget but do take the learning and experiences with you
ManiRose
May 3rd, 2017 12:57am
Sometimes, we can't stop thinking about our ex. A healthy way to do it is to just take it in and let it pass on its own. Don't resent them, though. Think of the memories and thank them for the damage they did and use it to become stronger. It may sound strange, but it will help you grow higher in every day struggles.
Suitcase33
May 5th, 2017 11:08pm
I developed a stamp card. I would put a stamp on a piece of paper every time I wanted to call them, but didn't. Everytime I wanted to unblock their social media, but didn't. Everytime I thought of them and distracted myself. After a certain number of stamps, I would treat myself on a special kind of tea, a movie night with a friend and so on.
Anonymous
May 7th, 2017 5:45am
Well this is hard.It is better said than done.Only remedy is time.Yes,time heals everything is sooo true.Just focus on your life and let tha thoughts about your ex play in the background.Know this is part of moving on process and don't give importance to your thoughts.When you will fall in love again,his thoughts will automaticaly go.Till then,just focus on improbing yourself.Best luck.
HealingHearts83
May 21st, 2017 3:42pm
I feel, either willingly or unwillingly, one has to come to terms with realising and accepting the reality under whatever the situation or circumstances, one becomes an EX. I agree that it is easy said than done, but I feel with proper mindset, thoughts, efforts and focus on things that are relatively more important in life and gives one happiness in our life, one can overcome thoughts about EX. If the break up is amicable and mutually respectful, the easier it is to cope up.
Anonymous
June 2nd, 2017 3:50am
Its hard to move on and harder to make a decision to not to think anything about past. But nothing is impossible. Its all our mind which plays this little game with us for being sad and thinking about someone else. We need to stay firm in loving ourselves first, thats one thing we forget when we are heartbroken. By diverting our mind into making new friends or meeting old ones, having a hobby, going out and being social is the way we can stop our mind to think about ex. It's all in our mind and if we be firm with our decision to do something trust me we can. Try it.
Anonymous
June 16th, 2017 9:23am
You are an independent person, you were in love yes. But life will give you more happiness. Forget your past and move on. Try something new.
Anonymous
July 1st, 2017 8:08pm
Find an outlet to keep your mind off of your ex, think positive and know you are strong on your own.
Anonymous
July 26th, 2017 10:35am
Based on my personal experience you can stop thinking about your ex by indulging yourself to other GOOD activities. Like learning a new hobby or improving more of your skills right now. Meet new friends, join religious organizations, helping other people or focusing on your studies. You can't instantly forget your ex it is a step by step procedure and it may take months. Crying all of the pain and sadness may help because after that you may just start a new life and realize that you must go on instead of staying in that case.
Anonymous
August 6th, 2017 7:12pm
Do something you enjoy doing. Get back into doing a hobby you love. Hang with friends or family that love you.
Anonymous
August 10th, 2017 5:42pm
By thinking how great you are, and how important is to improve yourself to be a better person. Enjoy your life to the fullest
Anonymous
August 11th, 2017 7:04am
Try to distract yourself, exercise, play sports, and those thoughts eventually will go away. They will no matter what with time when you start meeting other people.
Anonymous
August 11th, 2017 8:52pm
You can try distracting yourself by meeting new people and going out with friends... Also remind yourself that you broke up with your ex based on a valid reason.
Strawberrycake3
August 13th, 2017 11:25pm
When my boyfriend left me alone without any advertising, I felt so bad I went through depression. But in time I realized I didn't need anyone who didn't deserve me or really love me. I started to appreciate myself and life, because we are both wonderful!
AdviceAngel
August 17th, 2017 11:44pm
Stay busy and keep your mind on positive self motivating things! We too often let failed relationships take up a lot of our time. When something fails there is a lesson to be learned, if we can be aware of this lesson learn from it and move on, getting past a mistake is much easier.
Anonymous
August 24th, 2017 7:29am
It is truly a tough thing to do, but you can start by stop sulking about it and channelizing your anger towards a constructive thing. For instance, start writing, or sketching, or cooking. Be busy, and you won't have time to think about your ex.
ShotaButa
September 3rd, 2017 9:02am
You are missing the happy memories that you two had together but to me, moving on is a way to gain happier ones with the ones that truely care about you
AceKudos42
September 24th, 2017 4:21am
There are many ways to stop thinking about your Ex. Remember, you loved your Ex boyfriend/girlfriend and you probably still do; there is nothing you can do to change that. A few good ways to stop thinking about him/her are to find a job with children, like babysitting, or tutoring. These jobs require you to be full-time; and don't give you time to think about your Ex. They are also enjoyable, fun, and even earn you money; which also makes you feel more confident. Another good way is too go back to the times before him/her with a movie or a book you used to love. If these do not work, it is best to examine your problem; and maybe even try and become friends with your Ex again, so you aren't as lonely.
amazingJewel99
October 12th, 2017 12:09pm
From my experience-Get engaged;get busy. Don't sit idle! Interact and spend more time with friends and family. Music really does help. And try your best to avoid anything that connects you with your ex. Don't expect quick results. It will take time and that's completely normal. Tc! :)
BubbleTeaBrain
November 8th, 2017 2:27am
You can get outside, talk to friends, read books, go do a sport, or maybe draw! Doing things energetic and fun can boost your self esteem and make you feel good!
Anonymous
November 10th, 2017 1:57pm
I can share my personal experience.I made myself learn a new hobby .I learned salsa after my breakup.I was diverted into something new.The funny part was I got my new gf in salsa classes.