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How can I stop thinking about my ex?

184 Answers
Last Updated: 04/02/2020 at 7:54pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Alison Humphreys, LCPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

During the therapeutic process, individuals will learn to manage transitions, overcome obstacles and work towards their full potential .

Top Rated Answers
Supafaith
November 17th, 2017 5:18am
Keeping your mind active with any type of activity you find interesting can give you a temporary reprieve from the constant thoughts of your ex intruding upon into your mind. However; the more you attempt to NOT think about your ex the more you will think about your ex. Sometimes you have to just allow those thoughts to occur, they will gradually lessen over time.
ezraleeeee
November 17th, 2017 5:17pm
Thinking about your ex is always a void of mixed emotions, whether the break-up ended badly or not. From personal experience, getting over exes is a gradual process and there is no quick way to move on healthily. Perhaps try and distract yourself, keep your schedules busy and avoid looking at photos of them or looking through their social media as much as you can. You deserve to feel okay.
Anonymous
November 22nd, 2017 10:06pm
Do fun things that you enjoy. Bike riding, reading, listening to music, anything like that, to get your mind off of things.
Allylew1s
November 28th, 2017 6:57pm
The best way to stop thinking about your ex is to put your time in other places. This will occupy you and give you sometime to stops thinking about your ex.
Anonymous
December 6th, 2017 8:14am
Delete his chats, pictures, and social media. Try to distract yourself. Go do sports, shopping or read a book. Or talk to me. :)
valerie2197
December 30th, 2017 7:59am
Instead of thinking about your ex, think about yourself and all the ways you can take care of yourself and better yourself. You could try focusing on bigger and better goals, such as your career aspirations. Also, find different sources of happiness!
Anonymous
January 2nd, 2018 11:13am
Time will heal. You should try to do things to keep your mind off him/her and keep your mind active. I know break ups can be really hard but you will be able to overcome what you are feeling. I’m not saying it will be easy or done by next week but I know you can do it. Give yourself time to grieve and think about how your feeling. Another way is to get back out there try dating someone new but don’t force it.
destinyschild1980
January 4th, 2018 3:39pm
It's really hard sometimes to stop thinking about an ex. In my experience the best thing to do is to keep really busy with other things - throw yourself into doing your hobbies or going out with friends to keep your mind occupied so that you don't have time to think about your ex. Gradually you will find it gets easier.
Earn
January 10th, 2018 9:34am
Take your time. You may feel like you need to move on, to quickly forget about her/him as quickly as possible, or you may feel despair and disappointed for thinking about them when you try not to, but we humans are emotional and relational creatures! That means, once you have really invested your feelings into someone, it's natural to feel attached emotionally to them, and the process of ending such attachment may be a slow and long journey. And it's okay. So maybe the first thing you can do is to recognise that this takes time. Don't beat yourself up when there seems to be a lack of progress. At the same time, look for some healthy activities that you can put your energy and emotion into - for example some hobbies that you have not been doing for some time, or even take up new ones, sign up for a class locally or online, join a community service programme, anything that worth your time and effort. You can also spend more time with your family or your friends, or other non-exclusive relationship, to be a part of a community. Remember, the journey may be long and hard, but there are many people who are willing to journey along with you.
Heyanonhowwasyourday
January 11th, 2018 8:55pm
Finding an acticity that gives you a sense of purpose or allows for self improvement. Set yourself a goal, for example: telling yourself that you will read a certain classic novel or learn about a particular subject so you are more knowledgeable / skilled. This should boost your self-efficacy, self-esteem and hopefully stop you thinking about your ex!
Anonymous
January 18th, 2018 2:17pm
Many ways! Best way is to get out and hang with some friends. Maybe hit the gym, do things for yourself and make yourself feel good. Keep yourself busy and occupied by doing anything that interests you.
freshSmiles25
January 24th, 2018 2:39pm
it's very hard. To forget about someone you loved or someone you spent a good part of your life with. If its a first relationship its probably the hardest because you will compare them to everyone, if its true love, you will compare them to everyone, if its infatuation or even puppy love you will compare them to everyone. No matter what stage you are at in your life, time and keeping busy is the only thing that can help. Doing things with friends, picking up a hobby, working, working on yourself. In time it will get better but time is our worst enemy as it feels forever, but you will see in the end, time is what you needed
Vanillahappiness8
February 3rd, 2018 1:12am
Find something that will distract your mind. Don’t sit at home and have your mind go into overdrive. Go and see friends, start exercising, do something that calms your mind. Meditation and yoga are also really good. However there’s no easy way to get over your ex, unfortunately you have to go through the pain and hope that one day you wake up and he isn’t the first person you think about.
Anonymous
February 8th, 2018 12:25pm
I would seek therapy or counselling. And then time is the only thing that can help besides that. Time is the main healer when it comes to broken hearts
Anonymous
February 11th, 2018 6:59am
Start enjoying life. Go out with your friends, spend time with your family, make time for yourself and take care of yourself.
Anonymous
February 21st, 2018 8:50am
It will take time its not weird to think of them sometimes but enjoy time with your friends hangout do some work. As time past we will forget about them.
ASilentObserver
February 22nd, 2018 12:52pm
Keep Yourself occupied, Probably hangout with friends. Whenever you feel you are thinking about them, get up from that place and do something else. In short, Divert Your Mind because you can't overcome the thoughts of them in a day or night. It takes time and gradually you become used to of your current surrounding and priorities.
JaydenIsHere
February 22nd, 2018 4:12pm
Getting over someone you used to love so dearly is never easy. However, there are a few things you can do to make it easier; try to get rid of any objects or heavy memories that remind you of them. You can also find positive ways to let out emotions, such as writing down you're feelings or venting to some of our amazing listeners. And remember, don't blame yourself for this. You can get through this.
heartfulloflove04
February 24th, 2018 5:30am
Keep yourself as occupied as possible. Focus on yourself and your growth. The more busy you are, the less things you'll have on your mind! Delete anything and everything you have that reminds you of them. Their number, anything they've given you and any pictures, texts, everything.
Leenient
March 8th, 2018 4:45pm
You can try to occupy yourself with other things that you wanted to do or would like to do such as picking up a new skill or hobby. You can also shift your focus on working towards your personal lifetime goals.
Anonymous
March 28th, 2018 3:07am
I know this is so hard to get through, but for me what has worked in the past is keeping myself completely occupied, I know even that doesnt sound like its enough but if you are busy with other things you dont have time to go over what happened
Briannanereida200
March 28th, 2018 4:23pm
You can get involved with your community and other activities so that your mind is constantly on something else and you won't have time to think about your ex.
AskCass
March 31st, 2018 5:22pm
One way that helps me not thinking of a past relationship would be keeping myself busy. Obviously, it's a lot easier to be said than done, but if you try really hard enough it's doable! Finding new hobbies and activities is a great way to reduce dwelling on the past. Wishing you all the best!
heretohelp176
April 7th, 2018 5:14am
The first step is to get rid of anything that might trigger thoughts about your ex. Delete old photos of them or put them away in a folder where you won't see them. Unfollow them on social media so you don't have to see their posts. And when all else fails I use a technique that I like to call thought stopping. In my head I literally tell myself "stop" over and over again until it drowns out whatever I was thinking about. I also like to envision putting my unwanted thoughts into a box and burying it or locking it up. Imagining things like this can help you "put the thought away" in a sense. Hope this is helpful and good luck!
SpectacularHopes
April 16th, 2018 6:44pm
By moving on and accepting the facts, he/she is your ex for a reason, keep that reason in mind. You deserve more than that. And if it was meant to be, he or she would still be your present girlfriend or boyfriend. You can stop thinking about them by think about someone else or something else. Adopt a new hobby, Indulge in self care, make you bonds strong which were affected in the xue course of your previous relationship, go on new adventures or tale a vacation, do community service, make money by worki.g somewhere part-time, meet mew people, there are tones load od stuff you can do instead of thinking about your ex.
Anonymous
April 22nd, 2018 10:12am
Letting go is hard. But what you have to understand is letting go gently is perhaps the most respectable thing you can do in a relationship. It could be hard. What about the urge to check or use the phone and social media sites? If you cannot resist, try to reduce the amount of time or number of times you do this. Whenever you can do it, you will start to get a sense of control.
Anonymous
April 29th, 2018 7:30am
Some ways to stop thinking about your ex is to delete all pictures and reminders of them and to block them from social media. Also, do things you love and that's a guarantee to help you stop thinking about them.
EspritDuKaren68
May 2nd, 2018 3:31pm
How about instead of thinking about this person, write it all down in your journal. Every time you have a thought, if you are near some paper, write it down. If not, wait until you get home and write it all down. Keep doing this until you are able to move forward in your life.
Matthew27903
May 3rd, 2018 8:08pm
You have to surround yourselves in things that you enjoy. Change up your everyday routine make it interesting. Otherwise everyday you will have an empty feeling and your ex will take up your mind every second of everyday.
Anonymous
May 6th, 2018 12:04am
Think of our live’s like books, some people come and go. But just because their gone, doesn’t mean it’s over. It just means their part in our story is over. Just another chapter. It’ll be hard to get over them but it’s not impossible.