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How can I tell my boyfriend how I feel about him?

240 Answers
Last Updated: 05/13/2022 at 4:15pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Elaine Kish, LMSW

Clinical Social Work/Therapist

My goal is to treat clients with respect and compassion. I am a supportive, strengths-based therapist with experience in treating mood disorders, grief, and trauma.

Top Rated Answers
March 1st, 2019 3:24pm
Expressing your emotions is a very complex thing and takes a lot of strength. It is very important for a person to express their emotions in a way that they really understand and it is very important for your well being as well as the strength of your relationship and hiding emotions can cause great harm sooner or later and then it gets really messy when things get build up between and there is a lot of tension or baggage, just take deep breath and be calm, honest and be subtle and don't be afraid to show you actually feel. You should just be yourself.
March 9th, 2019 12:10am
Start with taking them somewhere that you both feel comfortable. It could be your apartment or his apartment or a neutral place like a park. Now it depends on what you're going to say if it's something like you don't want to be with them anymore then you have to be very honest and sincere but also listen to their concerns when they talk. If you want to tell them that you love them then you want to do so in a way that doesn't come off as obsessive or like you don't mean it you want to be sincere. If you want to keep seeing them just simply tell them you're having a great time and would like to see where this goes and that is probably the best answer of all.
April 18th, 2019 5:38pm
Close your eyes for sometimes. You'll see him, you'll see the man of your dreams in front of you. You'll feel butterflies in your stomach, you'll feel your heart racing. You know you have a lot to say to him, you love him so much. It isn't hard to put feelings to those words of your heart.
June 22nd, 2019 11:45pm
You have to say it what you feel, is not difficult, if you love him, say it, if you dont, say it too, dont be scared okay? nowbody are perfect, and you arent too. Youre boyfriend have to know what you feel, you understand? if you have a relation ship, it have to be true and safe. Dont be scared of anything, you are strong and you have to say what you feel always. Just, talk to him, and say him what you feel honestly, it is not difficult, be honest always, and all will be okay with him
July 28th, 2019 7:15pm
You can tell your significant other how you feel in many ways, depending on your personal preference! You can write him a note, a letter, a song. You can message them, email them, video or voice call them, do it face to face. Do what you feel is right. What might seem right to you may not seem right to others and vice versa so do what you think is right and tell them how you feel. You'll need to have confidence but if you plan it out beforehand what you want to say, then that will definitely help you in the long run. Hope this helped!
August 3rd, 2019 4:28am
Honesty is key! You should be honest with him and communicate every feeling you have towards him and the relationship in general. Relationships can often turn toxic with a lack of communication and honesty. If you're struggling with how to start maybe sit him down when both of you are calm and are not in bad moods and just tell him how you feel and ask for support from him. If he does not give you that support then he was never meant for you! If it gets toxic, no matter how in love you are with him you always should take care of yourself first.
August 14th, 2019 4:35am
Sharing feelings with other people might pose challenges for you, and you’re not alone on that. I know the feeling of anxiety and nervousness will creep in, but don’t let them stand in your way. You’ll realize that by sharing those feelings with the person, you’ll get more closure and come to an understanding for both sides. Considering this is your boyfriend, I assume that you guys have an ongoing connection, and I’m positive he’d like to hear what you have to say. You are the expert here in your situation, if your heart truly feels it’s right, then take the courage to make that move!
September 1st, 2019 4:37pm
Your boyfriend is the person you are with. When you are in a relationship, you must be happy and your boyfriend should be too. Since he is your boyfriend, you should never feel scared to open up to him about anything- good or bad. Relationships are not supposed to have secrets. Be open and be honest. Tell him what you feel in your heart about him. Tell him the truth in a soft and kind way. It does not have to be good, be honest because only then it will make you feel happy in the end. Ask him to be open with you too
October 18th, 2019 6:12am
it depends on what you're going to tell him! but very often, verbal communication is the way to go unless there are certain reasons you are unable to do so e.g. abusive or short-tempered boyfriend. there are also many other forms of communication such as texting/messaging, email writing and even letter writing! even in the forms of video recording works as well. although these are very old and traditional forms of communication but it still brings the words across and i think that's what you're probably asking about. all the best and please engage a listener if needed!
October 24th, 2019 3:19am
Vulnerability can be scary! If you are scared about telling your boyfriend how you feel, you could take some time to reflect and work through how you feel. Writing it down might help. You could read it to him or just use it as a guide in your memory when you talk to him next. It might also help to think about the moments he has been vulnerable or shared his feelings with you. That might give you strength and desire to open up to him as well! And lastly, remember communication and transparency are so important in healthy relationships and let that be the motivation to open up and get even closer with him!
November 3rd, 2019 2:22pm
Be open and honest. If you have trouble talking to him face to face maybe try another method. For example a text a voice note or even a letter. If you want your feelings to be considered you have to communicate or else you’ll fall into the risk of unhappy relationship. Your boyfriend can not read your mind. You have to be vocal and expressive about how you feel. If you feel threatened seek help immediately rather than directly talking to your boyfriend. Communicate can resolve a lot of things. It’s easy but difficult but once done things are better.
November 15th, 2019 2:45pm
Just tell him how you really feel. If he is really into you, he will actually take the time to sit down and listen to what you have to say. If you're telling him some bad news, tell him you don't want to argue about it but you want to just have a normal conversation. WHen I told my ex that I didn't feel the same way, I made sure that he understood that I didn't want to argue about it. It never helps when you guys argue because then it brings in more of an issue. I hope that this helps at least a little bit :)
January 15th, 2020 1:09pm
It is good to plan things out sometimes however, other times it is better to allow things to come from the heart. In this case it may be better for you to explain how you feel to him by just allowing the expressions to come naturally. If you feel comfortable around him then it could be slightly easier to allow your thoughts to run wild and voice your emotions to him as they come. If he is the right one then he will appreciate your honesty and emotion. It can be scary to be vulnerable but also very rewarding in the long run.
January 22nd, 2020 4:33pm
Since you are already in a relationship, doing this shouldn't be taken wrong. If you are in a relationship with him maybe try doing little things like making him breakfast, or getting him his favorite type of soda or candy. Just doing small things that show that you care. Maybe make him a card on his brithday or just out right telling him. It will be a little awkward at first most likely, but he will probably tell you how he feels about you also. I know from personal experiences that guys tend to be starved of attention and like getting attention.
January 23rd, 2020 3:18pm
Be honest. Be direct. Be frank. Be open. Be yourself. Sit together and talk through. Ask questions. Answer questions Honestly. Be ready for anything and accept the answers.
January 31st, 2020 9:21pm
The best way to do this is to just be honest. Don’t be scared to talk to him or tell him things. If he is the right person for you he will accept and understand what you are saying. If he doesn’t want to talk about how you feel then maybe you are not with the right person. If you are not feeling listened to or respected it may be time to move on. Just make sure you take time to grieve the loss of the relationship and surround yourself with those that love you. You will be okay without a boyfriend. It may not be what you want but you can do things independently very well. You’ve done it before and you can do it again.
February 8th, 2020 3:49pm
Well the easiest way is just talk to him. But maybe you are too shy for that . I love writing letters. I usually start on my laptop so I can still make a few changes, but then write it longhand, because it is way more personal. If its a love letter this is particularly cute and boys love it too! If you want to tell him negative feelings, you can also do so in a letter, but make sure, you dont accuse him, but rather describe your feelings! Also give him a possibility to come back to you and talk about it.
April 3rd, 2020 6:16am
If you want to tell your boyfriend how you feel about him, start with the simplest ones. Like how he makes you smile for no reasons at all and makes you happy through out the days especially when it's those ups and downs where you struggle with your own insecurities and problems. Make him feel like he's wanted and appreciated, spoil him with small kisses and smacks on his lips as a sign of gratefulness that he belongs to you. Small things matters too. -This means he might or may not notice it but it still matters. Saying 'Thank you' and 'welcome' makes things much more pleasing to the ears. The more you show him that you are serious and affectionate towards him the more both of you are building a better relationship for your future.
April 21st, 2020 8:19pm
if you can't tell your boyfriend how you feel about him then it's better to write it down on a paper and give it to him or tell someone to give it to him just don't forget to write your name or write a text to him.
May 16th, 2020 7:43am
It is better to tell him sooner rather than later so that it doesn't hurt him as much if it will hurt him. Tell him how you feel and what makes you feel that way. Make sure he knows that it is okay for you to feel whatever you are feeling. It doesn't matter if it is good or bad because he should know either way. Also, it is better for him to hear about it from you than someone else because it will effect him more if it is not coming from you. Make sure to just tell him not beat around the bush.
May 24th, 2020 1:47pm
First you can calm down in order to make sure you don't fumble. Then you gather up all your courage and be honest with your feelings. You go up to him and calmly tell him how you feel about him. It may seem hard to do so since it takes a lot of courage so make sure you know what you're feeling and how to describe it. If it seems like you're unsure of how to describe the feeling it may come off as insecure. So before telling him how you feel, figure it out in your own head or ask a friend for help.
June 6th, 2020 6:50pm
Sometimes it helps me to write my thoughts out ahead to really get to the core of what I'm trying to say. That often leads to a more productive conversation in my experience. Sometimes difficult conversations can quickly be derailed or venture off-topic so feeling confident in your talking-points may lead to a more fruitful conversation. While actually having the conversation, be firm in your points and confident in what you have to say. Try to focus on what his actions make you feel rather than something he's doing wrong. It sounds corny but my therapist once told me to keep difficult conversations to the "I" form rather "You". If you go into the conversation and light him up with a bunch of "You don't do this" or "I hate when you do this" it can make him feel attacked and become defensive, which breaks down communication. Instead, try expressing yourself like "When this happens, I feel..." I hope it goes well :)
June 17th, 2020 5:23pm
I have always found that honesty is the best approach. Honesty is a really important foundation in any relationship romantic especially so being open about how you feel with him is a good step. It may seem scary at the time because you're worried about what he'll think. But if he is the right man then he'll understand and actually probably really appreciate you being this open with him. But also tell you that maybe you feel anxious about it because then he knows. But what's most likely to happen is that you two will just become closer xx
July 25th, 2020 11:03am
You may share your emotions and feelings through a compassionate communication - which is the most active way you can let someone know how are you feeling. Making sure he is feeling validated and loved in your relationship. You can also express your feelings through your actions - by going somewhere you both enjoy spending time in. But if those feelings are not based on love and respect you should communicate them through also, however maybe hard it may seem and feel. All of us deserve to know how others that are close to us feel about us and our company.
July 30th, 2020 10:51pm
be honest and true to yourself. Don't be afraid to tell him how you really feel and follow your heart. If its negative, make sure you are in a safe environment where you can have others help you. If its positive, follow your heart and make sure to really express what you mean. Holding your feelings inside can really make it hard to function in life. Take this seriously as mental health is so important to people. I hope this helps you tell your boyfriend how you really feel and that you stay safe and happy in ur upcoming endeavors.
July 31st, 2020 11:51am
If you feel like you love him just tell him because if he doesn’t feel the same way it’s honestly his lose and if you want to dumb or break up with him be honest and don’t let him or anyone make you feel bad about doing it because if it makes you happy then it’s the right thing to do so just be honest with yourself and what your feeling because your the only person who can understand you not your boyfriend or your friends soo stay strong I love you don’t give up you can do this
August 15th, 2020 1:33am
Everyone has a different love language. If you search online, you might see the following: Words of Affirmation, Gift-Receiving, Quality Time, Physical Touch, Acts of Service. Love doesn't necessarily have to be spoken through words! If your boyfriend's love language is Words of Affirmation, any compliments or acknowledgements will mean a lot to him. For example, you could even write a letter or poem that will appeal to that love language. From my experience, my boyfriend's love language is Acts of Service. I show him how I feel about him by helping him out with any tasks or chores! If you want to learn more about love languages, be sure to check it out online! Hope this helped :)
August 22nd, 2020 3:13pm
Telling anyone your true feelings can be an extremely stressful and worrisome situation, whatever your relationship may be. Telling your boyfriend how you truly feel about him could open new doors of communication for you two. Relationships really thrive in communication and the willingness of both parties to be open with each other. So the cons to telling your boyfriend how you feel about him is really fear of rejection, stress of confrontation, or maybe the anxiety of opening yourself up. But the pros of telling your boyfriend how you feel about him are that your relationship could be taken to a new level in emotionally intimacy, he could return your feelings and this new communication could ensure a lasting happy relationship.
August 26th, 2020 12:31am
Be honest and open with how you feel. This person is already someone who is committed to you and your wellbeing, the best course of action - is to be calm and collected; but also honest. The easiest way I've found talking to my partner is just to start the dialogue, how was your day at work? How was our dinner last night? A clear head and open dialogue into a meaningful conversation while staying grounded on the topic at hand I believe would be the best way to converse with your partner about how you feel about them. Hopefully, this helps, thanks for your time.
September 10th, 2020 5:58pm
Try to start with a slow conversation and gradually tell him how you feel . Don't try to subside your feelings worrying what the results may be . Just be yourself. But also take care that you don't say something in hurtful way whatever it is convey it politely and clearly . If it is something hurtful ,if in case ...then ask him to talk to you about it when he feels comfortable and don't worry about the consequences just be kind and supportive while you convey your feelings to him. And sure if you need anymore guidance we memebers of 7 cups are here to hear you out!