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How can I tell my boyfriend how I feel about him?

235 Answers
Last Updated: 02/04/2022 at 3:26am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Elaine Kish, LMSW

Clinical Social Work/Therapist

My goal is to treat clients with respect and compassion. I am a supportive, strengths-based therapist with experience in treating mood disorders, grief, and trauma.

Top Rated Answers
November 11th, 2020 10:46pm
You've made me extremely happy. All my life I was looking for someone to love. I thought it would never happen. Then you came along and made my life special. I am comforted leaning on you, listening to your thoughtful advice, appreciate your kindness towards others. I love you today much deeper than when we first met because love grows. I watch how you treat others and cry when you cry. We've been brought together. As each day passes, my love grows deeper. So, you really are my Prince Charming! I love you!
December 3rd, 2020 3:01am
Write down how you feel so that when you are ready you know how to word it. Most importantly, speak from the heart. Wait until you are comfortable. Maybe when you are talking about your feelings with him share what you are comfortable with sharing. Sometimes not every thing needs to be said at once. Timing is every thing. I think its important to know what your boyfriend or girlfriend's love language is. Maybe its acts of service, doing things for them or it could be receiving gifts. You could find or make something that you know might be sentimental to him and your relationship.
December 4th, 2020 7:51pm
I would arrange to meet upsomewhere its better to be face to face rather then on the phone and talk out to eachother how your feeling and what you think for the future of you two Its important to communicate in a relationship so make sure to be as open and honest as you can. If your open with him it should take some stress off of you and deppending on what he says will be up to you to decide what the future is for you two! I hope this will help you and any other people stuggling to talk to their significant other! :3
December 6th, 2020 2:13am
There's never a perfect moment to open up to someone. I would say that neither the speech or the few sentences we plan in our heads come out exactly as we had them planned. While I don't have a clue how you are feeling towards him, it's necessary to talk about it either if it's good or not. Communication it's key in all type of relationships. If you have something important to discuss with a love one just tell them and don't wait too long to do so. Just choose a time where the both of you can talk, don't go around the bushes. Slide your carts on the table as they're coming. Good luck!
December 9th, 2020 5:28am
I think the most important thing in telling your boyfriend how you feel is honesty and mutual respect. I think it also important the time and place you communicate your message is important. Setting the right mood and having mutual respect can help with conveying what you want to tell him. I would also say that making sure that you are ready to tell him how you feel is important. You should try to be honest with your emotions and try to convey that best unfiltered but respectfully. I would also try to drop hints about how you feel about him so whatever you are trying to tell him doesn't seem sudden.
January 3rd, 2021 2:40am
Hello there! I'm Peachy, a certified listener on 7 Cups. I am not inclined to give out advice, but the best way is to be direct and honest with him. It is best to not be afraid of what he has to say, because your emotions and feelings are valid too. Even if he rejects or blocks out your emotions, that would be considered a toxic relationship, so it would be good for you to learn how to get away from him if so. With that in mind, your boyfriend should value your emotions as much as you value his. Have a lovely day!
January 7th, 2021 6:01pm
Using language that is not blaming ("I" and NOT "you") and naming emotions can be helpful in expressing your feelings. You should make sure you feel safe and are not in danger. If you are in danger, please ask for help from your providers or the proper authorities. It is good for you to be honest and not hide how you feel, so that there is not an explosion of emotions or words said out of passion/emotion that cause irreparable damage. You can also write down what you want to say so that you are prepared and do not forget the points you want to make.
January 10th, 2021 6:42am
Be genuine a about it. These are the reasons:You’re not leading him on, he doesn’t think you’re lying, and you won’t have such a burden weighing on you. Communication is key. Try not to communicate with him indirectly such as text or direct messaging through social media. Indirect communication can lead to a huge misunderstanding. Before you talk to him, gather your thoughts and convey to him what you want. Also, try to go directly to your boyfriend in private. That way, he won’t feel embarrassed. When you tell him, make sure to let him know during the day instead of at night. That way, he won’t go to bed mad (if what you have to tell him is bad).
February 12th, 2021 4:14am
I recommend saying some examples of how he made you feel a certain way and why it made you feel that way. Explaining will help get the point across and help you better understand the feelings you are trying to convey. Afterwards i think trying to figure out an overall feeling that you want to convey to him will come out naturally. If you have trouble stating your feelings you can ask for his help. for instance ask if he can have a conversation with you about each others feelings so that you don't feel alone about conveying your feelings. on the other hand if you want to tell your feelings and he is not listening you need to set out some time to fully converse and lay everything out and you need to convey that you want to share with him your feelings and it would be great if he can listen.
February 13th, 2021 7:34pm
If you are comfortable with face to face communication, try arranging some place you can meet and talk. Then tell him honestly and sincerely how you feel. If you are a bit shy maybe compose a letter or email and as above tell him honestly and sincerely how you feel about him. Either way it’s best just to be honest and sincere. Also it can really add a closer connection in your relationship when you tell each other how you truly feel about one another. Telling him how you feel is a good idea and don’t try to be too hesitant, as chances are he would appreciate your honesty.
February 28th, 2021 10:00pm
They say honesty is the best policy when it comes to everything and I think that rings true in relationships. It sounds like you’re a little nervous and that’s OK telling somebody how you feel is a huge step especially when it comes to intimate relationships. Just take a deep breath and tell him how you feel. You are not responsible for his reaction to the news whether it be good or bad. Who knows the feelings may be mutual. Keeping quiet about your true feelings I’m not gonna make your feelings go away. If he does not feel the same way it is better to know now than to spend time in a one-sided relationship.
March 13th, 2021 8:33pm
I usually will give a gift to show I care & appreciate him. I also like to have one on one time with him to tell him my feelings & how much I care about him. Never over text, always in person. If I ever have a problem, I'll usually wait until a day he doesn't have anything else going on, good or bad. Then I can have a sit down talk with him. Always calm, never angry or harsh tone. I want to show him respect, just as much as I want him to respect me. Remind them often how much you care about them so they don't feel threatened.
March 31st, 2021 5:25pm
It can sometimes be difficult to put our feelings for someone into words, however, it can be done with reflection, kindness, and presence. Start by reflecting on what it is you want to say, and how you can say it in the kindest, most honest way, while still giving the other person the chance to be seen and heard. Once you have an idea of how you will express your feelings, consider finding a time you know both of you will not be distracted or interrupted, perhaps in a safe, quiet place that isn't busy. Finding the right setting is a good way to make sure you can both be fully present in the moment together. Phones or other distracting devices should be silenced or left behind, so both of you can focus on the conversation with each other. Lastly, after telling them how you feel, you want to check in with them to see how they are feeling about it, and whether they understood you in what you were trying to express. This is to ensure you are both on the same page about what you just discussed. Hopefully, these steps will help you tell your boyfriend how you feel about him.
April 1st, 2021 12:25am
Great question! I assume since you are asking this question you are having some type of difficulty expressing your true feelings to your boyfriend. Begin by asking yourself why this is. Do you feel he will reject or not reciprocate your feelings? If yes then I believe the nature of your relationship is wrong. A boyfriend is someone who IS meant to be there for you. He should be a listening ear and, while you both may not share all of the same viewpoints, you should feel open to talking through things with him. Perhaps you are worried about how you might feel if he does not reciprocate your viewpoints. Try to realize that, while the pain this causes is natural, perhaps it is better (to be let down and have closure) than the constant pain and confusion of not being able to talk things through. Your current confusion causes pain and clarity, (even harsh clarity) will cause relief. It is important to have confidence in yourself to the point where you realize that a) you want a relationship where you can express your feelings to your boyfriend b) you can (and do) express your feelings to your boyfriend and c) even if he doesn't reciprocate your viewpoints than you are going to be okay. Defining your goals in such a way might end a relationship that would have caused you a lot of pain and confusion over the years, and help you orient yourself to a better relationship. In other words, overcome a little bit of initial pain in order to get the reward and avoid long-term pain. Not to mention the fact that this is the worst-case scenario! There is a GOOD chance the boyfriend you're with right now is a good one and will appreciate your openness. Do it and realize you're doing yourself a favor!
April 17th, 2021 4:48pm
I cannot give you advice, but I can tell you to listen to your heart and what you think is best. Don’t be scared to tell him the truth. If you need to talk after this, I am always there for you. The more important thing to remember is that if he has a bad reaction to your feelings, he’s not good for you. I hope that you can use this to help you. Just don’t overthink everything because it will just make it harder. Coming from someone who has trouble sharing her feelings with others. Trust me on this.
April 25th, 2021 2:43pm
Trust and honesty is vital for any relationship. It is important to stay true to who you are and not change yourself just in the fear that someone may leave you. If something is bothering you and you tell him, one of two things may happen. If he understands where you're coming from and chooses to make amends for you then perfect. If not, then he simply does not want you enough, and you don't deserve to be any guy's second choice. The fear of your boyfriend leaving is understandable, nobody's denying that. However I feel you should be your first priority and if he doesn't respect that then he doesn't deserve you.
May 8th, 2021 1:52pm
Well it all depends on the context. He already IS your boyfriend, so my guess is that you two mutually agreed you love eachother. But if you're wondering on how to open up and have a honest conversation about how you ''currently'' feel about him it's another question. The answer is actually quite simple. You could start by setting the mood in such a way that you two end up with some alone time. Then openheartedly tell him you want something off your shoulders or that you want to talk about a certain subject. If your boyfriend truly cares about you he will listen and comfort you.
May 13th, 2021 7:38am
Conservations are best way to start.. You can have a conversation with your boyfriend..and try to communicate your feeling. I understand..honest conservation are really hard..but they are glide paths that can help you. Start with things both of you are comfortable talking about..and then start discussing your feeling for each other...and in this will beacame really easy for both of you. Conservative ka dual ended..when you tell your feelings to is important to listen to theres too.. A dual understanding is always better..and will help you to reach a better conclusion. Honesty..openess..patience..and will..without fear of what will be the result..will certainly help. All the will do great.
June 5th, 2021 8:58pm
If you feel special about him let your actions do the work for you he will see that you really care about him and he will show the love and respect to you I believe that everything will be better with both you just do your best always be loyal and faithful and love with no boundaries. When I feel what I feel about him make sure he really love your way of seeing things it's a important thing because if your mind is same is easier to understand but if different then you just have to work hard and I believe that you can do it.
June 10th, 2021 12:04am
There are many ways to express our feelings, some do by guying gifts no matter how big or small or how expensive or unexpensive it is. Some express it by giving quality of time, or by writing letters, composing a song, dedicating an existing song that can tell what you maybe can't for the moment. You might give him a big hug and while in it saying the words that you wanted to say. You can make or buy something and give it to him while saying this made me think about you/ I did this thinking of you.
September 1st, 2021 6:38pm
Telling your boyfriend how you feel about him is an action that is important and reflects well on your integrity and character. If I were in your shoes, I would feel anxious and nervous regardless of whether I was sharing positive or negative feelings. Reaching out to listeners and therapists for support and ears to practice on may be a practice that you find helpful. What are your feelings? Are there common events that bring these feelings out in you? Are these feelings causing you distress in your romantic relationship? What outlets have you tried to gain clarity on your feelings?
September 12th, 2021 2:36pm
There are a lot of ways to express yourself to your significant other. However, lets first talk about what you want to tell him specifically, so when the time comes you are prepared mentally. I think that it is better to talk in person with your boyfriend because you are able to converse while observing body language. This way you could see if he is uncomfortable or understanding based on his behavior. You could arrange a meeting place and have a set time for this conversation to happen. Most importantly, be yourself. Do whatever you feel comfortable in doing, never take it upon yourself to act differently.
October 23rd, 2021 9:54am
Hello, what a great question! Sometimes telling people how you feel and sharing emotions can be scary. I've experienced that It’s helpful to start by gathering your thoughts on you own. Write down how he makes you feel, what he does to make you feel this way, how it affects you. It’s best to understand your own feelings first before bringing it up to someone else. After that, try gently explaining to him how you feel. Give him a chance to explain and/or tell you how he feels about you. Remember to keep his feelings as well as your own in mind. Happy Healing!
January 15th, 2022 11:13pm
If you do not like your boyfriend and are worried to tell him that, then you should think is this a healthy relationship. You should feel safe and happy when talking to him. You should also be firm with him, let him know that it’s not up for discussion, but try not to hurt his feelings. Timing is also very important, for example, you don’t want to tell him this during an argument or when he’s angry because this could lead him to lash out. You should find a time when he’s calm, and if you don’t think you can talk to him for fear of your own safety, you should seek help off an adult or friend.
February 4th, 2022 3:26am
if you are not currently near your boyfriend, write it out before hand to make sure you are clearly communicating what you feel about him, then tell him face to face or over video chat what you wanted to say. sometimes the simplest thing to say to your loved ones when you are feeling emotionally overwhelmed is "i love you" if you don't feel that to be true, you should question yourself as to why you don't feel like you love your boyfriend. communication, especially with the ones we care for the most, is the most important part of maintaining a healthy relationship