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How can you tell that you have really moved on?

212 Answers
Last Updated: 06/09/2022 at 7:53pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Lindsay Scheinerman, MA, LPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

My work with clients is to help them recognize and build on their strengths to find solutions for the conflicts presented in their lives.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
October 3rd, 2020 12:05pm
After a few months, I realised that losing you wasn’t really a loss. Losing you made sense. Losing you was inevitable. I lost you because I never really had you. You were never really mine, you were always searching for something away from me you were always thinking of someone else when you were with me. I lost you because I would’ve lost who I was if I held onto you. I lost you to find myself. See, I learned that it’s better to lose some people than to hold on to the hope of them coming back, because a person who doesn’t want to lose you, will never let you slip away. But you didn’t fight. You didn’t try. And in turn, you made my decision for me. You made it easier for me to think of losing you as another way to find myself another way to save myself. And for the first time, you made me realise that not every person you lose is a loss and that losing can sometimes be winning. For the first time, you made me realise that losing someone is sometimes the only way to love yourself. For the first time, you made me realise there is so much more to be found in losing someone who was never meant to stay. Losing you was hard, but keeping you was harder. Losing you was a lesson but not a loss. Losing you was my favourite win.
Iampandagenie
October 16th, 2020 10:00am
When you're not caring about this question anymore. My answer is actually done with this but I need to write more to post it. Minimum 100 characters. So I think I need to talk something gibberish for some time. So lemme tell you ways in which you can move on. You can engage yourself in different activities. And remember that it takes time to actually move on. Move on doesn't happen in one day or sometimes not even in one month. So you just gotta trust yourself that it'll all be fine one day. Till then act like you've actually moved on. And don't panic if you feel stuck sometimes. It's absolutely ok. It's ok to feel sad too and also to feel as if you've never initiated moving on. It's all a part of the moving on process. I hope that it'll all work for you. Have a nice moving on time!
Anonymous
October 16th, 2020 10:48am
Personally from my experience when i was really in love with some guy it took me a while to move on from him because every thing reminded me of him...so three years passed and i was still occasionally thinking about him but after i saw him the feeling of excitement and nervousness just wasn’t there anymore. I felt nothing standing in front of him. I could normally ask him about his relationship with his new girlfriend even though i never pictured myself doing it ever. I think you’ll just know. I still think we spent nice time together and we made a lot of beautiful memories together...i could tell i moved on when i felt more connected to the memories than the actual person standing in front of me. It felt liberating
Anonymous
October 23rd, 2020 2:34am
I have really moved on when I am able to live my life without constantly thinking about the event. It's okay if it crosses my mind or I think about what I learned, but constantly thinking about it is unhealthy. It depends on what the event is, but for embarrassing moments that do not seem to leave you, once you stop forcing yourself to be cautious all the time, you have moved on. It is also important to never force yourself to move on, and just let time do its thing but also try to figure things out. Those are my experiences.
talkswithariba
October 29th, 2020 8:18pm
It's confusing at first. although time can help people move on, but they or the thing does alway remain in your memory. And when that pops up, you're unsure whether you've really moved on or not. So instead of that, consider whether you're more focused on them/it or you're more focused on your, lets say, future? Do you think about them all the time or have you started thinking about other things? Moving on is a long process, we need to be patient with ourselves. I hope that was helpful. Take care, and try indulging yourself in a lot of activities.
Anonymous
November 19th, 2020 2:19am
When your thoughts stop being occupied completely by them and you can have no problem getting rid of things that hold on to memories. The memories will always be a part of you and make you who you are, but when there aren't any emotions attached to the memories, is when you've moved on. And when you can create new memories with someone else is also a sign that things have moved on. It's a process and it won't happen over night, it can take months or years. But slowly becoming less attached to the memories can help :)
CaseyOra
December 4th, 2020 4:29pm
For me, it’s when I no longer felt attached to the person. When I didn’t want to check their social media and when my thoughts quit going to them. It helps to get over someone by finding yourself. Diving deeper into your hobbies and interests. Persona development and learning ways of not being codependent. For some of my past relationships I will always have feelings or care for them but I am okay with not being with them and even do not want to be with them. But I still care about them as a person and want them to be happy and live their best life.
Anonymous
December 9th, 2020 6:52pm
You can tell if you really moved on if you can look back and accept that this relationship was a huge part of your life. There may have been love there and there probably always will but you know that the separation was so you could grow as a person. When someone mentions them you don't have that "butterfly" feeling anymore. Their name becomes indifferent to you or a name that brings back those memories for a moment. You no longer linger on what you used to be and move on to find a new love. You don't have to completely ignore their existence or prove to anyone you've moved on. Truthfully, only you know whether you've moved on.
Anonymous
December 20th, 2020 3:55am
You can tell you have moved on, when you don't ask yourself this. When you begin to feel at ease with yourself and your past relationship. You are able to reflect back on it and laugh or are reasonable with it. To know you have moved on, is being okay with that person, they don't ignite any strong emotions. You have to be able to let go and look at other people, talk to other people, and find comfort in other people. A little part of you will always be wanting them and that's okay, its all part of moving on.
Anonymous
December 20th, 2020 4:42pm
When you are able to talk about what happend without feeling hurt. When thinking about what happend no longer has an impact on how you're feeling. You're able to be present in moment and don't spend time ruminating on what happend. You no longer feel the need to evalute it and search for solutions. You no longer feel the feeling of unfinished business. You are able to open your heart again and be vulnerable. To be able to trust again and accept the risk of getting hurt. Everyone's journey to healing and moving on is different, so take what resonates and leave the rest.
Anonymous
January 4th, 2021 4:38pm
You can tell that you have really moved on when you do not obsess over everything that involves them in your life. When you are not checking their social media profile everyday and seeing who they follow, when you are not checking their location, when you do not get butterflies every time you hear their name- that is when you have moved on. Moving on is an interesting concept to think about, as it can be different for every single person. Just know that it is okay to always have someone living in the back of your head; remember your experiences with them and learn from their or your mistakes.
Anonymous
January 17th, 2021 2:10am
You can tell that you have really moved on when your mind stops drifting to them, when you stop worrying about what they think of you, and when you stop thinking of what they've been doing with their time. You also aren't stalking them on social media or asking friends how they have been. Bonus points if the person you were dating/friends with has found someone else and that doesn't bother you. The largest signs you have moved on are that you're content with where you're at without that person with you, and that person no longer occupies your mind all the time.
JoshOfTheHills
January 29th, 2021 1:39pm
That moment when you're washing dishes or doing laundry or any other chore and the thought comes to you about the thing that has bothered you for so long, and you just grin -- you know that moment? That's the moment where you find that the thing that happened, the thing that held you down for so long, is finally nothing more than a silly moment in the past that isn't worth getting hung up on. You've moved into a place of peace with that thing, accepted it, and hopefully learned from it. For me, that's when I know I've moved on: a goofy grin, a pause at the sink with a dish in my hand, and then I just keep scrubbing.
Anonymous
April 14th, 2021 11:41pm
When you don't feel anything for them anymore, just a friend/person. You shouldn't worry that much, as you'll find someone else that understands you more. Try talking to people that care about you, they'll understand what you'll going through and help you. So, you can tell if you've moved on by what you feel for them. If you suddenly don't have any big feels for them anymore, you're probably over them. If you're sad about it, you might still like them, and thats normal. Take deep breathes and try to calm down the best you can. Remember, people love you. You matter.
Anonymous
May 1st, 2021 11:30pm
When everything stopped reminding me of them. At first everything I did, saw, or heard would bring back a memory or just the thought of him. I would try to convince myself to get him out of my mind and to stop daydreaming about us. One day I heard a song we use to sing together and I didn't immediately associate it with him. After I realized it was our song, it reminded me of him. I realized I had stopped thinking about us and it felt a little sad, since that meant it was really over. It was also a relief because I moved I had moved on.
Anonymous
May 5th, 2021 6:17pm
It can feel important for people to delineate when they have moved on from an aspect of their past. At the same time, though, it can be difficult for a person to tell when they have truly closed the book on a chapter of their lives. Perhaps one way a person can assess whether they have really moved on, is to take inventory of how often that aspect of their past crosses their mind in day-to-day life. For instance, if I'm trying to move on from a breakup in a relationship, I might ask myself, "how often does [name of ex] cross my mind?" I might even assess how disruptive it is to my day when I am reminded of that person, or reminded of the breakup itself. The more often you think of that aspect of your past, and the more affected or disrupted you are by the memory or recurrence of that past aspect, the less likely it is that you have truly moved on. Conversely, if you find you do not often think of that aspect of your past, or find it does not cause you distress or discomfort, the more likely it is that you have put it behind you.
JanetAtDrexel
May 7th, 2021 1:51pm
Knowing you have moved on is challenging. The life events that we find jarring or traumatic are usually really jarring and traumatic. It takes time for scabs to form and for the wound underneath to heal. How I have found that I have moved on from traumatic or difficult times is that I have the same empathy for the person that I would for anyone. About 10 years after a difficult friendship disaster, the other person reached out to me with a question about getting help for her autistic son. What I felt for her was the same that I would feel for any mother who was trying to do the best for her child. I didn't feel moved as though this was my sister reaching out to me (the ex-friend and I will never be there) but I didn't feel malice or resentment. I felt what I would if a casual acquaintance had asked me. I had moved on. How do you know you moved on? With respect to relationships, maybe you are able to treat the other person with the basic care and empathy you would a stranger or casual friend.
Anonymous
May 8th, 2021 8:50pm
If I don’t think about the person and try not to get in touch with them. I don’t get attached. I’m fine. I just like helping people by talking to them as much as I can. It’s the least I can do. I try to make them comfortable but that doesn’t meant that I’m attached it just means that I care and I try to care as much as I can it’s what makes me me. I’m trying hard to help people and that makes me feel great and makes me feel important. This is a great platform and I love it
snugglyDog7961
May 15th, 2021 11:51am
Moving on is a subjective topic, some people take a day to move on while others might take several years. But when you have finally moved on, you won't think about your ex in your idle time, you won't imagine yourself with them when a romantic song plays, your life will be more than just chasing that one person. When you feel you are now ready to date, not because you need to make another person jealous or get over them, but you need to find someone who deserves the gem you are, is when you know you have moved on and the feelings for that person are now dead and nothing can make you love him/her again. You might feel happy for their success or love them like a friend does but you won't ever want to be with them as a partner, that is when you know you have moved on.
hailesuwu01
August 18th, 2021 4:07am
from personal experience, you can tell you've really moved on when you find yourself thinking less of them, and more of your interests, or someone new. when i went through my worst breakup, i had taken the time to realize how much better off i was with someone new, and then found the one for me. what started as the worst feeling in the world, started getting much better. i had realized the amount of @buse i had taken, and started thinking about how i deserved much better. finally, less than a month later, i had already been able to move on to someone who was much better to me, and more patient with my feelings. take your time moving on, as its not always easy! it's completely valid to spend days, or even years to move on.
AvrilGraceofGale
December 1st, 2021 3:56am
CHOOSE GOALS THAT MOTIVATE Motivation is the key to any achievement. If interest is low and you doubt the value of the results, then the chances of success tend to zero. To maximize the likelihood of triumph, you need to feel mobilized and confident. Be clearly aware of what needs to be done to make the goal a reality. To push into the background everything secondary and move forward - but not forcing yourself, but with pleasure. Zeal in achievement is determined by the importance of priorities: by not focusing on the main thing, you run the risk of coming up with too many goals and exchanging for everything at once, without paying any of the proper attention.
MisAdventure
December 8th, 2021 3:41pm
I could tell I'd moved on when I hit a trigger point where I'd normally want to act, or do something to respond to that trigger, and instead I didn't do anything. It was a matter of realizing that I didn't care about whatever the trigger was, and that I'd moved on from it enough that I didn't have to have to give it a response, that it wasn't worthy of my time and energy, and that it was ok to just not have that be something I cared about anymore. And a certain point, the trigger just didn't evoke the same response, and particularly the same emotions, that would make me want to respond to it in the beginning, from which I could really tell I'd moved on.
Shaelynn1
December 8th, 2021 9:39pm
I would say you have "moved on" when you are able to accept the fact that you had good and bad memories with this person and are able to accept these memories as they are. Your main motivation in your actions is pleasing yourself and not them. You want to go out and do things you enjoy not because it reminds you of them but because it is fun. I thinking moving on is subjective and not always a straight path because on some days you will miss them more than others. You can be fully moved on from someone and still have days where you might miss the memory of them. When you feel as if you are moving forward with your life, is when I would say you have "moved on".
Anonymous
December 12th, 2021 11:20pm
I think it happens when you're not paying attention. You just wake up one day and the thought of them or hearing their name doesn't upset you anymore. You detach yourself from them, no more phone calls or texts. No more checking their social media. When you let go of the anger and are able to wish them well. It is not easy but acceptance is the first step. Often times one person will move on before the other one does and that is ok. But when you are really over someone, you will get to know it.
Fadedletters00
December 23rd, 2021 2:33pm
When it no longer affects you the way it did, when you look back at it with a positive viewpoint rather than lament why it happened (basically seeing it as an experience), when your close friends or family members tell you that you look brighter and noticeably healed and when YOU, the one who went through it, feel at ease. Moving on is a subjective process and happens at varying rates for various people. Don't be harsh on yourself for taking more time than someone else. This is not a race. Each one of us has a different emotional response to situations. But, it is also important to understand that dwelling on something for too long needs to be checked. Life is a dynamic flow of events and memories and no situation stays constant. Take your time, but also don't fall prey to your negative emotions. Hope this helps :)
KindBean2002
February 16th, 2022 12:58am
It doesn't hurt when you think about it. Your body feels natural when you think about the incident or the person. You feel as if you can talk about it more freely than before. It might feel more nostalgic almost. I thikn you know you're over it when you feel a sense of peace within yourself when you even think about it sometimes. It's more of a sense of feeling okay, despite what happened or what the person meant to you. Things attached to the person, or the event, might not mean as much, or trigger much thoughts. That's how you know you're over it
Neetha666
March 10th, 2022 9:05am
You'll just realize one day you do not feel the same way you did towards something. For instance, you ended things with someone. Seeing them or talking about them can be hurtful, you just feel sad, lost, angry sometimes when you think about what happened. Some part of you just regret everything that happened. But later on at some point you just realize you just want the best for them, you don't feel like what you guys had was a mistake but it could be taken as a lesson. That's when you know you have moved on. You just automatically accept the fact that it was meant to be and it's alright.
greatfulSky
April 3rd, 2022 3:06pm
You can tell when you really have moved on when you realize that you are looking to be in a relationship to get something from it, rather you are able to enhance the relationship, you are whole and happy as you are and accept that that you have everything you need inside, always have and always will and your journey is one of looking inward versus outside of yourself for answers to your journey personal valuation. You can tell you have really moved on when you are enough as your are where you are, with yourself as your compass for all they you need moving foward.
Anonymous
April 3rd, 2022 8:59pm
In my experience, one can tell that they have moved on when it is no longer difficult to talk about it. When you can speak freely without regret or censoring, you have moved on. Sometimes, it's easy to fall into denial, thinking we have moved passed something that we have not. We feel anger or regret towards the past, yet claim to have accepted it. Once these feelings reside, we know acceptance has come. Truly moving on is to not avoid speaking on it, but embrace speaking on it. Realize that this was a part of your growth, and know that with this acceptance comes relief.
yourpal101
April 15th, 2022 7:39pm
if you have moved on 100%, then you would feel that it's okay if you seem them with a new partner and you would not feel threatened by them or you would not experience jealousy. you might not feel the way you used to, when you are around them (i.e, you might not get butterflies and nervous jitters anymore). you would eventually stop thinking about them often and would try to meet up with new people, maybe as a rebound or for an actual connection. but you need not always be ready to get with another person right after you are over another person.