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How can you unlove someone?

278 Answers
Last Updated: 12/26/2020 at 4:45am
How can you unlove someone?
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Jennifer Fritz, LMSW, PhD

Clinical Social Work/Therapist

Day to day life can be stressful and overwhelming and my strength is assisting my clients in a supportive, empowering and practical manner.

Top Rated Answers
June 6th, 2018 10:21am
Time is the answer. You can't force your body to get rid of emotions whenever you like. In the meantime, learn to love yourself by meditating and taking care of yourself mentally. This is the most important thing in life. Let your emotions remove itself in good time
May 20th, 2015 5:49am
I don't think you can. You can't just erase them from your memory. But you can learn healthy ways to cope and in time move on.
May 8th, 2016 1:37pm
well you cant force yourself to unlove someone ,but yeah you can try to engage yourself in different activities ..... so your mind can concentrate on other things apart from those to whom you love ...
May 12th, 2016 11:19am
I guess, as a starting point, you need to know that it takes time. When you really love someone, your mind and heart gets emotionally entangled with the person that you are in love with. SO, unwinding that, takes its own sweet time. While I don't know if there is any fool proof way, but I do believe that being occupied helps - especially occupied in things that you love doing - could be anything - swimming, dancing, singing, traveling, anything else that interests you. I've also seen socializing help some people - so, if you have been a social butterfly in the past, maybe its a good idea to reconnect with friends who you have lost touch with..
April 20th, 2015 10:56am
You can never unlove someone because the happy memories that you once had were all real and genuine.
August 9th, 2017 2:24pm
Well, as for me, it take time, love and forgiveness. No matter which kind of relationship it is. Could be with your parents, your sister or brother, a friend or even your companion. When it hurts, it hurts. You will never forget but if you find in your heart enough love for yourself, you will forgive the person and move on.
September 20th, 2019 2:33pm
You can’t unlove someone. If you ever felt like you “fell out of love” then the fact is, you never really loved him/ her in the first place. And if you really love someone and decide to unlove him/ her, then you are just in denial of what you really feel. You can act like you don’t love him/ her anymore, but that’s just it. Deep inside, you still care; you still love that person. ————— You can’t unlove someone. If you ever felt like you “fell out of love” then the fact is, you never really loved him/ her in the first place. And if you really love someone and decide to unlove him/ her, then you are just in denial of what you really feel. You can act like you don’t love him/ her anymore, but that’s just it. Deep inside, you still care; you still love that person.
November 21st, 2014 2:49pm
To unlove someone seems to imply that you once loved them but that love and the actions of love have ceased. So, something changed, either the other person changed or your view of the other person changed. So, how can you unloved someone? You can stop loving them, you can say or do unloving things, you can separate yourself from them? it seems that you might unloved someone most because they have hurt you?
November 22nd, 2014 3:43pm
Unloving someone means that you have moved on from that person. At one time you cared about them and loved them but now you are not wanting to be with them anymore and maybe they have broken your heart or maybe you have found someone knew that cares for you more than they did. When I was in college I had a boyfriend I thought he was the one. However, he broke my heart. He broke up with me. Even though I still loved him he had broke my heart. In that situation he fell out of love with me and therefore I had to learn how to move on and not care about him anymore.
March 21st, 2015 11:51am
Love is... complicated to say the least... Sometimes the people we love can hurt us, and I guess in those instances, we'd want to stop loving them because it's simply unhealthy continuing to love someone who doesn't love us, or whatever reason it is. For me, unloving someone takes time... Lots and lots of time, as well as lots and lots of pro/con lists to remind me of all the times they might've hurt me. Support is also really important during these times. Having people who you can trust around you during times like these can really help you move on and unlove a person. These people who you trust care about the way you feel, and want the best for you, thus, would provide you with the best help that they possibly can to help you through everything. But yes, time is really important.
December 28th, 2015 11:14pm
There is nothing as unloving someone. Love is an emotion, it grows with time, but if you really want to not love someone anymore then you should just stop thinking about them. Make yourself busy and obviously try to remain as far as possible from them.
April 22nd, 2016 6:35pm
The realty is we cant stop our self for loving someone. But the time is best healing medicine out love becoming faint with the passage of time,
May 26th, 2016 3:51pm
You can "unlove" someone by kicking the person out of your life. Do not talk to them, do not look at them or whatever. Delete all messages, photos and the memories. Get to know someone new, who deserves your love.
May 26th, 2016 7:28pm
Unloving someone can be very difficult. It requires mental strength and preparation to handle situations as these. Unloving someone will be painful but feel great in the end. Recommended steps to unloving someone would be to talk with them less, find someone who makes you happier/someone you love, accepting that they are not the person you deserve, and appreciation for yourself!
June 11th, 2016 1:52pm
Ignorance and indifference, simple as that. Its not hate that is the opposite of love, but indifference
June 12th, 2016 9:07pm
You can't just "unlove" someone. Embrace the fact that you've been in love, deal with the heartbreak maturely and move on.
September 9th, 2017 8:13pm
It's very hard to stop having feelings towards people. It's probably just as hard to stop hating someone, as it is to stop loving someone. The fact of the matter is, our emotions are important. Who we give them to (or waste them on) is the key to understanding. Every single emotion that we have is a product of energy in our body. When we feel love towards someone who does not reciprocate the emotion, we're giving away energy to a person or cause that will never fulfill us. We will slowly drain, because we are giving that emotional fuel to others and not getting any nourishment in return. The same goes for people whom we love, who constantly hurt us. We can only nourish others so long and starve ourselves for love before the unhealthy cycle starts to break us down. Once you realize the gift of your love and of your energy, it is a matter of honoring it and choosing to give it to those who will appreciate it's worth.
November 13th, 2017 8:12pm
There is only 1 way which is accepting the truth that this one is not your one and trying to search for someone who loves you back and gives you what you demand to be satisfied.
January 13th, 2018 3:46pm
in order for you to fall out of love with someone, you must love yourself more. loving yourself more makes you realize that you don't deserve to cry for someone who doesn't love you back or who doesn't respect you, it simply makes you indestructible and it makes you see your worth. you have to make yourself occupied so that you'll have no time to think of him or her, like studying harder, or doing things that you love the most, or spending more time with your friends and family. you should never hold a grudge, even if that person broke your heart because holding a grudge won't benefit you & it's actually a toxic for you.
April 25th, 2018 4:05pm
There is really no one you can unlove someone once you start loving them, you might lose the feelings for them on the surface, but deep down you still love them no matter what. Unless you did not love them like true love but what you call "true love" you will never stop loving them no matter what you do.
May 18th, 2018 5:18am
It depends on the situation but you can unlove someone through acceptance and focusing on the present. If there is any particular reason you need to unlove them because of heartbreak, abuse, et cetera. you should sit down and think about that person. Think about who they are in the present and why you should not love them anymore. Accept that person for who they are and try not to dwell on your past with them. The more you come to terms with who they are now rather than who they used to be is when you can focus more on the present. Getting more involved with things that are presently happening rather than the past will help you move forward and grow as a person.
June 2nd, 2018 12:05am
Love is a powerful word and it's hard to unlove someone but you can always talk about it with someone like right now I'll be more than happy to help you talk about it.
July 5th, 2018 2:56am
You can never unlove someone.. Once we love someone we have chosen to give them a part of ourselves that we will never obtain again. We have to learn how to live without them instead of trying to unlove them.. it can be hard to go on without someone, but you always have to remember that you were meant to meet that person for a reason, and that reason will go on for the rest if your life.
July 27th, 2018 6:12pm
Frankly, you can't. At least, not at first. You'll try and try to get them off your mind, but they'll keep showing up in your thoughts. This cycle continues; the regret, the sadness, the loss, the pain. Until one day, you wake up. And they're not the first thing on your mind. Stay strong, it's a long journey.
July 28th, 2018 12:44pm
Was that person toxic? As someone who loved someone very much only to eventually get hurt by that person, I thought that I should hate them. I couldn't because they were one of my closest friends. So instead, I let myself feel love for them but I stopped acting upson it. I drew a line and told myself; I can love this person for the good memories we shared, but I cannot love them for the hurt they gave me and I cannot love them for the hurt they will continue to give me. My love is for our good times only but I cannot love past that. You can't un-love someone but you can gather all that love and keep it only for the good memories shared. You won't be able to love a person who hurt you but you love them when they apologize. Stop yourself from loving them if they hurt you. Direct that love towards the good things in the past.
September 27th, 2018 4:05pm
Some famous writer said that you can't unlove someone. You just find someone who you have a greater love for, who makes you forget the problems and the one you think you can't unlove. 2. Be objective and think of all the bad traits the person had. Of course, everyone has flaws they shouldn't be judged for. Most importantly, trust me, time heals all. Right now it may seem like the end of the world, but it gets better as time passes by, you will learn to live without them, and without the constant thought of them. Good luck!
September 26th, 2019 7:30am
I think we cannot really learn to unlove someone, especially if we shared a deep connection with them. However, I think, with time, we can learn to slowly detach ourselves from them and from what we thought and felt about them at one point in time. By giving ourselves time and space to heal from this relationship and then, devoting this time to other areas of our life, we can slowly and gradually bounce back. We can start redistributing our love and redefining our previous relationships with others. We can learn and give new meanings to love and with time, we can look back fondly, yet not feel the urge to go back to them. So, you don't unlove them, but you slowly detach and focus on yourself and redefine your relationships with others and with your own self.
July 27th, 2015 5:47pm
Time and space have always helped me in the past. Both allow your mind to remember and learn what is like to be without that person. As time goes on, it's easier to remember the inner strength you as an individual have on your own
March 28th, 2016 12:28pm
unloving someone you've loved before can happen when that person hurt you so bad that you can't go on
March 29th, 2016 11:20pm
Time is the only way to truly get over a feeling as strong as love. For some, love may take months to fully get over. Just take your time until you feel like you've moved on.