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How can you unlove someone?

262 Answers
Last Updated: 07/19/2020 at 12:03pm
How can you unlove someone?
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Jennifer Fritz, LMSW, PhD

Clinical Social Work/Therapist

Day to day life can be stressful and overwhelming and my strength is assisting my clients in a supportive, empowering and practical manner.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
May 26th, 2016 1:38pm
transferring that love to the ones who deserve it...... There are many who you don't recognize......
Anonymous
May 28th, 2016 2:52pm
Love doesn't have a switch. You can't simply turn it off...It's not possible, but maybe with time it can't go weaker.
WonderlustKami
May 29th, 2016 5:36pm
Love is not something like a string or glue; it's a bond that never quite is finished coming into being and never really fades away. I was always taught that we, as humans, should try and love everyone so that one day those same people could love us in return. Loving a bad person doesn't make the love bad just as much as eating a sundae prepared by someone with a mean face doesn't make it taste sour. You shouldn't try to "unlove" this mysterious somebody; instead, remember the good things, acknowledge the not-so-good things, take everything that you've learned from meeting that person and then throw the rest into a mental safe. This is a practice that I've learned from years of not-so-good things and I think that I've become a happier, more open person because of it. Try it out and see how it works for you.
Ayeeitsbrii
May 31st, 2016 5:46pm
You can never unlove someone no matter how hard you try. You may never love the same anymore but for one thing you will still always love that person in your heart. Even over time you will forget about them and think you don't love them anymore but then once you hear or see them again you'll see that you still love them.
EuphoricFuture
June 1st, 2016 5:11am
Try to throw away the traces. Like thing that hold memories of them. Each object contains a memory that was created by you and that individual.
coldasSugar5616
June 1st, 2016 4:16pm
One does not "Unlove" another person. Love is unconditional. Being IN love, however, can be healed and reduced only with time. Love is a confusing, but beautiful thing.
SimplyRose1234
June 2nd, 2016 6:11am
you cant, your heart cant be controlled. but you can spend more time with other people just to forget that person.
sinatralover
June 2nd, 2016 11:42pm
Think about the wrongs they did you, and that you wouldn't want to experience them again. Know your worth.
Anonymous
June 3rd, 2016 1:59am
I want to start out by addressing the word 'love' itself. Love means a million different things to a million different people. Based on personal experience, I don't think it is possible to un-love someone. Love is a feeling so unfathomably deep that we cannot just make ourselves un-love someone. Especially if that person has had any sort of significant impact on our lives. It IS possible, however, that we can move on from any negative relations we had with the person we love. For example, if the relationship is/was very toxic to be in, we can move ourselves out of that situation by leaving. Much easier said than done, but it is possible. We can still feel and have love for that person, but we are moving on from any negative circumstances and freeing ourselves from whatever was causing unhappiness. Before I get off topic, I will wrap it up. Un-loving someone isn't something we can force ourselves to do, but removing ourselves from damaging situations is always an option. Hope I helped!
serenekindness66
June 3rd, 2016 5:20am
Let a lot of time go by and fill your life with lots of happiness, activities, friends and accomplishments.
Sindi00
June 3rd, 2016 3:53pm
I think that is impossible to unlove someone, or maybe it is not the right thing to ask from yourself, the best is to let go, look forward and very sudden u will find something or someone else to love. We are human beings we are made of love to love. The biggest and the greatest love that anyone should have is love for the life. Embrace every moment and save every second of memorie that is the right way where everyone should pass on
Anonymous
June 3rd, 2016 4:30pm
I don't think you can ever truly unlove someone because once you have loved someone a small part of your heart will always be theirs. I think you need to give yourself time to change how you feel about them but always remembering that they will be apart of you. They are part of your past and you just need to keep living your best life without them.
biancaj
June 3rd, 2016 5:59pm
If you are truly in love with someone unloving them is near impossible, it will defiantly get a lot easier over time but to completely un love them I personally don't believe you can't. The heart wants what the heart wants.
Cherishlife20
June 3rd, 2016 7:59pm
Love doesn't vanish in the matter of seconds. ItS a long process and if the love is so solid or if you're not ready to let go it might not happen. But the best way to prevent yourself from more pain is by letting it go because since you've been holding on you know it hurts alot.
Anonymous
June 4th, 2016 5:17am
Falling in love is easy. Falling out of love can be treachery. Most often it takes twice as long to fall out of love then how long you were mutual in love. 6 months could take 1 year to get over. From my experience the best way to fall out of love is to fall in love. Not with another being, but with your self, your dreams, your hobbies, and your path. To unlove may take time, but it shouldn't be rushed you must be patient with your heart. Because trying to force yourself to fall out of love will simply make you think more and more about how you were in love. It's best to free your mind of the past, not to forget your memories, but to create new ones!
Juzzy
June 4th, 2016 10:12am
You cant "Unlove" Someone, but the heart does heal and in time can learn to love others again and even to love yourself as a person
Bearhugs1
June 5th, 2016 12:26am
You can't. There's no remote button for feelings. I wish there was sometimes, though. But, you could possibly do it by using distractions.
Mikatsu104
June 8th, 2016 8:05pm
You can't really unlove someone. Your best way to stop having feelings for them is to break up all connections for a while, and go out and have fun with friends to get that person off your mind.
Leon92
June 8th, 2016 10:24pm
There is no such thing as an action plan to stop loving someone. Allow yourself to take some time to get over this brokenhearted feelings. Even though it might not feel like it, in time you will be able to experience joy and happiness again. Stay strong!
Anonymous
June 9th, 2016 8:48pm
Unlove someone? What is love, maybe it's just a sympathy? Well this question is hard to answer, maybe to find a better person than whoever was before.
Anonymous
June 11th, 2016 10:34am
It's hard to answer this question as it's dependent on what type of love it is. However, if it is a romantic type of love. I think you should find a hobby to distract you. Talk to your friends or confidants. I think just as you can find a temporary job. You can find a temporary replacement to the person you love. If the relationship progresses to a permanent role as spouse... it might be good for you. If not...you can enjoy the single lane :D
YellowDaydream
June 12th, 2016 4:44pm
You cannot. At least I personally cannot. But what you can do is move on from them. If you want to "unlove" them, there must be some reason behind it. Use this reason to gradually convince yourself you can live without them and live well :)
Gladdy
June 15th, 2016 8:03am
The time when you unloved someone is when you have a greater capacity to love, that you knew that you love them but have to let them go, not because of our own needs and reasons to keep them. But to know genuinely that they deserve better, that we deserve better as well. Love is given without asking for anything back, that is why we sacrifice ourself for the person, because we love them.
brilliantRiver83
June 18th, 2016 12:14am
Love yourself more than they could ever love you. Don't hate them. Hate takes energy and passion and time. Simply evict them from your mind. Distract yourself. Become your own hero. Value your heart more than you value theirs
JackSkel
June 24th, 2016 5:12am
Falling out of love cannot be forced. It takes time. The best you can do is wait. Sometimes, finding someone to take their spot can speed up the wait time.
Anonymous
June 29th, 2016 2:55am
I don't believe that you can ever truly unlove someone. More of a just putting them in the back of your mind and trying not to think about them. Love is a strong emotion that can't really be undone. If you say you love someone and seem to stop, perhaps you never really loved them in the first place.
Y0LANDAH
June 29th, 2016 10:40am
Acknowledging one's self and working through areas of your life you've set. The clearer you begin to understand and know yourself the better it is to understand why someone may not have fit right. The best come in the midst of the wait of patience.
Anonymous
July 1st, 2016 4:00am
Unloving takes time, and isn't easy at all. It's hard, very hard, but in the end, it'll be fine. You can get through this. :)
piag860517
July 1st, 2016 9:42pm
impossible, your feelings for that person may change but if you used to loved someone for reall you are always going to love one...just different. Stay away of that someone...first step...very far...and in a couple of months you will see that you love that somoeone but in a differente way...but remember that memories dont vanish...just keep the good ones to the future, try not to think about them now...becuase..well is not healthy for you...when ever you are recover for your breakup or whaterver, this memories are going to appear again..and you will smile...
HopieRemi
July 5th, 2016 7:49am
That's a hard question to answer because it really is hard to stop loving someone. I don't know if that is even possible. But it is possible to slowly begin to move on. The answer though is time. It takes time ot begin to stop loving someone. You would benefit from looking at the Break Up Advice guide under self help guides. you can find that by going Path > Self-help guides