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How can you unlove someone?

261 Answers
Last Updated: 07/17/2020 at 11:30am
How can you unlove someone?
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Jennifer Fritz, LMSW, PhD

Clinical Social Work/Therapist

Day to day life can be stressful and overwhelming and my strength is assisting my clients in a supportive, empowering and practical manner.

Top Rated Answers
ColdWinterNights
September 9th, 2016 8:56am
Know that they aren't the person you fell in love with in the beginning. Cherish your memories, but know that memories are all they will be, and that moving on is the healthiest thing to do.
Anonymous
September 9th, 2016 11:29pm
Unloving someone simply does not happen. You may lose an attraction towards them but can we really stop loving someone? If it's a true and honest love, it cannot be lost. When you leave the person whom you thought you loved, it may feel after a while like you don't love them, but those feelings can easily be resurfaced. A true love can never be stopped and the love you once felt for a person can only be hidden and buried, not stopped.
Anonymous
September 10th, 2016 1:56am
unloving someone is a hard thing to do try and think about something else or try to take your mind of them
Sunflower20
September 10th, 2016 10:16pm
You can't stop loving someone. Love is a feeling that never fades away. You may be angry at someone for something that they did to you but if you really love them that feeling will never go away.
Anonymous
September 16th, 2016 12:41pm
I don't think its easy to unlove anybody for its what the heat wants. If it is neccecary just try to engage yourself fin things a lot so you are distracted and eventually it will happen.
competentDaisy98
September 18th, 2016 1:13pm
This question is something that is one of the hardest to answer but I think time is the bet healer.
highoffesme
October 2nd, 2016 7:54pm
That's is extremely hard believe me you can't I love someone you have to just get over them the feelings of course will stay but if you don't think about them you won't even know they're there
YohAsakura
October 4th, 2016 8:18am
I wouldn't say it's about unloving somebody as to some extent it is still important to retain memories and thoughts no matter how feelings change over time. The idea of potentially moving on is more accurate issue and time can be the best medicine
Anonymous
October 12th, 2016 6:51pm
Spend enough time apart, talk less, just realize that there is life without them...otherwise just suffer through it and take the time to heal
Joyce1030
October 19th, 2016 9:03pm
You can't. Due to certain circumstances in life, the relationship and personal growth you can fall out of love with that person. You can still love them and not want to be around them all the time anymore.
Anonymous
October 26th, 2016 10:43am
you cannot unlove someone, you just have to learn to move on, learn to live without that person, learn that that person is not there with you anymore, you have to learn to be independent and do everything yourself.
BigHeartBetty
November 3rd, 2016 4:16pm
Well, in all honesty you can't. Once you love someone, you love them forever. It if they change, that doesn't mean you love who they've become. If someone you love has changed and ruined/terminated a relationship, you're not just going to stop loving them. You loved them for a reason, yes? But that doesn't mean you need to love them now. If you don't like that you love someone, think of all the reasons.you want to "unlove" them. Remember that you don't love what they've become, but the good memories you've made.
MissyK1992
November 4th, 2016 2:15pm
There is no right or wrong in love. If he/she is not suitable for you, then leave. Don't force it to happen. It's gonna hurt both of you in the end.
VioletWescott
November 30th, 2016 3:15am
You can't. Not without time. It's going to seem like it takes forever, believe me, it will. But it's hard. It's hard to wait so long for something you feel will never happen, but it will. I believe in you.
Anonymous
December 4th, 2016 7:14pm
You can unlove someone by understanding how or why they are bad for you if they are causing you great anxiety, physical pain or you just are not interested. Understanding the situation and its negativity is the first step towards moving on.
Justtellittome
December 21st, 2016 9:48pm
There are many ways to try to unlove someone, it depends on multiple paramaters, if you really want to unlove someone you can start with committing with yourself and take a step everyday about it, by time you cannot believe how much progress you have made!
Anonymous
December 22nd, 2016 3:00pm
Base on my experience, I had to accept the reason why we couldn't be together. Acceptance takes a while but once you've accepted it you are ready to move on.
Anonymous
December 24th, 2016 9:51pm
Love is such a strong feeling that it's not something you can do in a day or two. It takes time, although I'm sure you hear that a lot and it doesn't quite answer the question. You just have to delete them from any social media and cut them off your life. That is the first thing. Then, you have to do something that you love. Join a hobby, a club, a sport, watch a new series, do something new and that you'll like. Over time, he/she will slowly disappear from you. Now, you might miss that feeling of being loved or being in love but that doesn't mean you still love that person. As well as missing those memories, there is difference and holding into those memories is completely acceptable .
sweetgirl16
December 30th, 2016 5:03am
it depends on how deep you are in love with them but it takes alot of time and everything in your power to try to get them off your mind
cruellastar
February 15th, 2017 4:34pm
You can't! When you love someone you gave a person a part of your heart. Meaning whatever happens they will always be a part of you. When you fall in love again. You will create new memories. So then what happened in the past wont matter anymore. 😊
sereneWaterfall24
February 18th, 2017 1:58pm
Unfortunatelly, feelings cannot be "unfelt". Only time can heal and give us an opportunity to better understand our feelings and let us choose to step away from them.
Anonymous
February 25th, 2017 5:47pm
Give yourself some time away from that person, make a small community away and try to forget them, time will be your friend
patientRainbows72
March 2nd, 2017 11:22pm
One of the greatest things you can do when you are in this position is to start loving yourself more. Fall in love with yourself, start taking amazing care of yourself and your body. Eat healthy, do a form of movement that you enjoy and find a hobby or volunteer. Reconnect with your old friends and try to make new friends. After a while, you will find that by focusing on you, you won't be focusing on that person as much anymore. Also try seeing the whole picture more and realising that the person you loved wasn't perfect and that they had their faults as well. Hold hope for better things to come
revibe
April 22nd, 2017 1:41pm
There is no directions in this world I could give that would explain how to "Unlove" a person. It's something you must give time, distance, & even then there is no guarantee. Love is not something you can control.
PeaceAndFaith
May 28th, 2017 4:04pm
You can't unlove someone. Time only flows in one direction for us, and you can't change the past. All you can do is make peace with the fact that they weren't the one for you, because being stuck in a relationship of unrequited love and/or no love at all just isn't healthy for either of you. The hardest part of a relationship is letting go of your fear of it ending so you can find one that fits you better.
Luvnbeast
June 7th, 2017 10:37pm
By being able to let go and refocus on bettering your life without that person in it. Only once you are starting to be successful can you really let go of loving that person. Really there is no such thing as unloving someone, as you can't undo what you have done. So all you can do is simply move forward without them.
Mindful71
June 10th, 2017 1:29pm
Love and loving has two intermingled aspects to it. One is the feelings we have about the person we love, the other is of a logistical nature meaning how do we act on our love feelings, Do we spend time together , do we get married, do we correspond etc. So in the unloving aspect , it is merely to define the logistical ways we choose to connect with the person. For instance i may choose not to marry the person or have an affair with them but maintain friendly communication. Separating the feelings from the logistics will sort out the issue. You can still love someone but disengage from them logistically, I would not call it unloving. on the other hand if you feel like you are done with a relationship, there is nothing wrong with moving on in life and not staying hung up with the emotions of the past.
Anonymous
June 22nd, 2017 12:30am
You can't unloved someone. It hurts, but eventually it won't if you work forward. A few things that will help are picking up a new hobby to keep you busy from your invasive thoughts. And constantly think positive of how you feel. You could also talk to others to help ease the pain.
Anonymous
July 7th, 2017 1:53am
You can't just unlove someone. But with enough time, space, family and friends to support you through tough times eventually that person will become, as the song says, somebody that you used to know.
ScarlettCarson
July 7th, 2017 4:03am
Sometimes you can, sometimes you can't. The world works in duality.You can focus on their flaws and distance yourself from the person. Those things can help.