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How can you unlove someone?

278 Answers
Last Updated: 12/26/2020 at 4:45am
How can you unlove someone?
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Jennifer Fritz, LMSW, PhD

Clinical Social Work/Therapist

Day to day life can be stressful and overwhelming and my strength is assisting my clients in a supportive, empowering and practical manner.

Top Rated Answers
ScarlettCarson
July 7th, 2017 4:03am
Sometimes you can, sometimes you can't. The world works in duality.You can focus on their flaws and distance yourself from the person. Those things can help.
5thousandmiles
July 13th, 2017 12:14pm
Simply but, you can't. The cliche saying that time heals is true, as more time passes the less you'll think about that person and less you'll love them. You'll never forget, and you'll have moments where you still love and maybe even miss them.
Dorkprincess143
July 14th, 2017 6:22am
I do not belive you can. But you can learn to live without them. It becomes easier once you realize things will get better.
Anonymous
July 15th, 2017 7:30am
You can never unlove someone who once meant the world to you. You just get used to the pain they brought when they left you. That's why it is called moving on not forgetting.
Anonymous
July 21st, 2017 8:25pm
Heartbreak hurts. But time and tide will change all things. There is no need to unlove someone. They will always hold a special place in your heart. But know that perhaps things weren't right for the both of you. And it's time to move on.
alina17
July 26th, 2017 1:24pm
I don't think you can really unlove someone. If you really loved that person, they will always be in your heart, no matter what, you will always care for you even if you don't talk to them or if you're in bad terms with them. You can't unlove a person, because once they earn a space in our heart, they will always be there.
peacefulIris43
August 10th, 2017 7:59am
To unloved someone would not happen overnight, involving yourself in other activities that may give you a break from the thoughts about a person can be a good way to start. Also try thinking about the times when that person wasn't in your life, that is, the past. When you didn't even know that the person existed. Yes, your mind has worked you into falling in love, but you should know that many people including me have overcome this challenge, it only needs time and patience, and distractions for the low moments.
VanessaGraceStory
August 11th, 2017 9:18pm
True love is usually a strong bond and not something you let go of. But if you want to unlove someone then understanding why you want to may be a good start. If they aren't alive then you may want to try and let go so it doesn't cause you any grief. But if the person is alive then its as simple as saying the reasons to yourself why you do not want to love the person no more. But true love you can not let go of, even if you move on there will be love there. But true love wouldn't ever let go. So you can unlove someone im many ways like getting rid of memories, don't talk about them, dont think of them or maybe however you see it fits you.
SoulHealing
August 18th, 2017 4:40pm
Time cures the hearts, keep it wise and smart. If we cannot forget at least we move on and then is all just good memories.
LindaBg
September 3rd, 2017 2:44pm
Getting 'rid' of the intense feelings love brings is a long process but in my opinion it is the most important to realize why the relationship didn't work out or what aspects were unhealthy for you.
wonderfulFriend50
September 14th, 2017 12:36am
it's impossible, i guess, to unlove someone forcefully. Whats the purpose of doing it ? If you trying to forget the things that been done between you and them, unloving is not the best way. It's time to try to letting go. Loving someone that no longer with you anymore is not bad. It's fine, just go with the flow. As time passed by you will experience that you are growing stronger.
Wonderball
September 14th, 2017 2:34am
You can't unlove someone. You can fall out of love with someone, but you will also love the person, and many times there will be a special part in your heart for them long after you've have fallen out of love with them and even if you are not still communicating with them or haven't seen or met them in a long time. It will help you with your next relationship though once you realize you are no longer in love with the person which takes time, and then you will know more of what you want out of your next relationship.
Positivebelief27
September 29th, 2017 5:33am
It depends as to why you want to unlove someone. If the person hurt you and made you miserable then it automatically becomes easy for us to not love them anymore. But if you were deeply connected with that person then to stop loving won't come easy, you shall continue to love them but with time you will slowly not care about them.
1ofakindV
October 9th, 2017 6:10pm
I do not think you can fully unlove someone if you love them unconditionally. It is just a matter of moving on with your life.
sophieishere
October 18th, 2017 1:49pm
Trying to unlove someone is not something you can do with the click of a finger, it is something that comes over time. After a breakup you cannot continue to contact the personal regularly, or keep seeing this person as it will make yourself keep hanging on to the memories and the feelings you shared. You need to take each and everyday as it comes. It will not be easy. It will be hard but there was a time where you lived without this person and you will be able to get this back.
Anonymous
November 10th, 2017 5:38pm
Love yourself more. And realize that you are worthy of love. Keep them in your heart but be willing to accept new love.
frankiepamela1
November 14th, 2017 5:06am
You can't "unlove" a person, but you can take this time to learn to be happy without them. Focus on self-care and try to think of them as little as possible. If this means hiding photos or unfollowing on social media, then go for it. Spend time with family, friends, pets, or anyone else that you love. Try new things, or continue doing old things that you enjoy. Take an art class, go for a bike ride, meditate, etc. There are so many things you can do to care for yourself while also distracting yourself from thoughts about this person. Remember that you absolutely do not need the love of another person in order to be happy. You are a strong individual who is capable of finding your own happiness.
colourfulwriter54
November 21st, 2017 12:12pm
By focusing on loving myself. I've been missing out on my needs when I needed that person to take care of them while they were away. learning self love is the first step to pick yourself up and move forward
Anonymous
November 23rd, 2017 5:31pm
If you are asking how to unlove somebody, you clearly don't want to love that person. Ask yourself, do I really deserve to be in love with that person?
GreatChance
December 2nd, 2017 11:21am
The first thing you have to realise is that love needs to be reciprocated, otherwise it is not real love. To "unlove" someone, you need to stop contact with them (until you feel you can better manage your feelings) and wait for time to pass. Try to develop yourself, learn something new, become better in the meantime.
cuddlyDay48
December 8th, 2017 10:27pm
Just remember how you got hurt and avoid overthinking missing and get rid of the stimulating memories
charmingShoulder
December 13th, 2017 3:38am
I think you can never unlove someone. You can heal youself as time as by, and with a good support system. Its like the more you try to unlove someone, they more you love that person. I would say its better to just forgive and forget them,
Anonymous
December 13th, 2017 1:38pm
You can't undo the past. Accept the love you can't let go of and let it guide you through new experiences.
Anonymous
December 28th, 2017 10:41am
You cannot unlove someone. However, you can get over someone. I recommend spending time improving yourself, doing things to make you happy. Having time out with friends. Instead of dwelling on someone else and doing nothing. Distraction is key, allow yourself to let go.
Anonymous
December 28th, 2017 9:00pm
You can never unlove someone, and when asking this it might mean you can never unlove them, an ex will always be on your mind whether its on the back or right there on the edge, they will be there; and it wont be easy moving on cause each person is different. The best thing to do when trying to move on is accept that they have a piece of your heart, but that there is a better person waiting for you to find them.
YouRenoughlove
January 3rd, 2018 10:54am
Falling in love can be easy but falling out of it can be a slippery slope. The first step would be to realize that you are still yourself without them. That you are still whole even though it feels differently. Going on from there get support from friends or family members. Don’t dwell on the past but look forward to the future ☺️
Littlespaceollie
January 3rd, 2018 9:23pm
If it is really Love, you can never fully "unlove" them. However, you can try to not dwell on the person and distract yourself with different activities. You can distract yourself from the person. After time you will not feel as attached to the person, still love them? Yes, but nobody can ever fully "unlove" someone.
Iknowwhatyoufeel
January 10th, 2018 9:20am
I believe that if you really, truly loved someone, the love will never go away. It will diminish over time if you take care of yourself, and accept that it's okay. The love will always stay with you, but if you accept that it's okay for it to be there - it'll fill up a lot less space :)
uniqueVoice64
January 18th, 2018 2:39pm
There is no way you can unlove someone. There are certain things in life that cannot be controlled no matter how hard we do. You cannot unlove someone but you can accept that he/she is not right for you. All you need is just to accept that things don't always work the way we planned it.
optimisticBlossom66
January 27th, 2018 5:22am
Just takes time. You gotta try to erase any thing that can could trigger your thoughts or memories of him/her and keep yourself busy and rely on support with family and friends. Eventually you'll gather a sense of nomalcy and you'll be able to move on. :)