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How do I get him back without seeming desperate?

37 Answers
Last Updated: 05/11/2020 at 8:48pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
Moderated by

Maryna Svitasheva, PhD. RP

Licensed Professional Counselor

Psychotherapy I provide is based on a dialog and your active intention to look for a solution with the therapist's assistance

Top Rated Answers
December 3rd, 2014 1:31am
I think it's important to recognize that when relationships start, we're attracted to someone for who they are. But sometimes relationships change, and we change within them. The best thing to do, fresh out of any relationship - and even when you're still in them - is to stay true to yourself. Reconnect with valued friends and family, spend time doing things that make you feel happy and fulfilled. Reconnect with you are as a person. If you and that person are meant to be, you'll come back together. If not, by doing these things, you'll meet someone more along you interests, someone closer to your place in life, someone who shares the same values. It's never too late to "do you."
December 29th, 2014 5:41pm
You show him you still care, but don't bug him. Don't text him "good morning" say something like "hey". If he doesn't reply don't send double texts. Just let him know you still care but can do fine without him.
January 24th, 2016 10:00pm
That old saying "time heals everything" could have some truth behind it. I don't think "space" is always the answer, but when appropriate it can help. It all depends on what drove him (or you) away in the first place. Every situation is different. From personal experience, I've found that constantly texting and reaching out can drive him further away. Let him miss you and realize what he lost, eventually he will find his way back. Patience is key.
November 22nd, 2014 7:11pm
Try and talk to him about how you're feeling. Ask him if he is willing to try and fix the issues or problems you guys were having in the relationship.
January 30th, 2016 12:04pm
No contact until he contacts. Go on with your life as usual no extra no less. No over doing or under doing. And when he comes back just listen calmly what he has to say, then keep your point across but not harshly and show understanding and compassion. Don't except him to say sorry again and again. If he apologizes be kind and don't accuse and put your feelings across. And all will fall in place.
November 14th, 2014 2:44pm
Well? The fact that you want to "get him back" is in itself a sign of dependence. And well? If you do have any good valid reasons then you can always try talking to him and see if he agrees to give it another chance, if not, you'll unfortunately let time heal your heart.
November 20th, 2014 6:08pm
Tell him how you feel...accept his patient and just have faith. If it's meant to be it will be.
December 7th, 2014 3:50am
Tell him how you feel. If you truly love him, you won't worry about seeming desperate. You have to be honest and up front with, about your feelings.
November 3rd, 2015 5:23pm
First, reflect on your relationship with the said person when you're not sad or overwhelmed with emotions. Was that person good to you? Is the reason of your break-up valid and making sense or did it happen in a heat of the moment? If the break-up had a serious and valid reason and or if that person doesn't have feelings for you anymore, leave it be. If it didn't try to talk to your ex privately and see if you can work things out. Good luck!
June 6th, 2017 4:21pm
There's no way to guarantee "getting him back;" relationships exist by mutual consent. However, you can let him know you want the relationship to continue without coming across as stalker-ish or clingy. Give him space - don't contact him more than once a day, and after a few contacts, leave it for a week or more. Be polite in your communications, rather than accusatory or demanding. Look for ways you can be together without pressure: attending a movie with mutual friends, or playing games together - something to remind him that he enjoyed being in your company before whatever happened that caused strife between you.
November 29th, 2014 6:33pm
You guys need to talk about what both of you want of each other and the relationship. So both can know if is worth to keep going together.
December 21st, 2014 1:18am
You can get him back without seeming desperate by just talking to him from time to time and then suggest hanging out then gradually start talking more and then try to make him like you again and suggest going out again.
January 2nd, 2015 9:21pm
Try to be friends first. Show him that you have no hard feelings and still care about him, but also let him see that you've got a life of your own. (People like confidence and emotional security.) Also, if he wants to get intimate, tell him you only do that in relationships and not just casually. Hope this helps!
January 13th, 2016 11:21pm
tell him how you feel and be honest...honesty is the best way to go...if your honest they should not think your being desperate
January 31st, 2016 2:37am
Be honest and straightforward about your needs in a way that speaks from your heart. Point out the positive aspects of your relationship. Remember you can not make anyone do anything, you can only control what you do, how you respond. Be genuine and authentic to yourself.
November 19th, 2014 9:04pm
A casual call or message and not the needy tone in the voice and a great attitude and right body posture
May 6th, 2015 2:35am
Getting back with an ex? Well as they say, you two broke up for a reason. Things didn't work out. If they want to get back with you, it wont be a struggle, it will be mutual.
July 7th, 2015 5:04am
The first question you need to ask yourself before pursuing him is "is this the right choice for me?". If your relationship was unfulfilling, abusive, or just not right for you in the first go-around, maybe choosing to take him back is not the best idea. What matters the most is your happiness. If you do decide pursuing him is right for you, a simple "Hi, how have you been?" is a good place to start. Show that you still care about him. Hope this helps! -SL
August 17th, 2015 2:26pm
Focus on your life, do things that make you happy and just forget about him for a while. When he sees the vibrant and happy you, he will come back to you himself.
December 21st, 2015 11:29pm
Tell him how you feel...accept his patient and just have faith. If it's meant to be it will be.
February 6th, 2016 11:11pm
Never be afraid to do it. Just text him, call him, show him that you care. Have a 1 on 1 talk. Show him that you miss him, show him how you feel, it might not always work, but it is always worth a try, Who knows, maybe things will turn out for the better.
February 12th, 2016 2:50pm
Think about why he was yours in the first place. How were you different then? were you more cheerful? what caught his eyes? you obviously did something that he liked, and probably something has changed. It's always best to first work on yourself, and then when you're feeling better and confident, you can try contacting him (or maybe he'll contact you first!).
December 8th, 2015 8:26am
I will help him out by encouraging him through telling him practical things related to his issue so that I can get him back without seeming desperate.
January 16th, 2016 11:14pm
By talking to him explaining how you feel and how much he means to you that what ive done to get back with my love
January 22nd, 2016 7:12pm
To get him back you need to create a want. Make him want you back. The best way to do that is to be the best you that you can be. Keep up your appearance, maybe start a new hobby you are interested in, and always be smiling. If you are happy with yourself, chances are he will too.
January 28th, 2016 9:11pm
Try being friends for a little bit, start hanging out again. Eventually tell them how you are feeling.
February 5th, 2016 7:46pm
This is a question I myself need answered. I guess, you could slowly work your way back. Don't over text or call him. That could send him away. Be patient. If it is gonna happen it will.... In its own time.
February 7th, 2016 9:02am
Come in slow. Start of as friends and treat him as your friend. Someday, if lucky, he'll develop feels for you.
February 10th, 2016 2:27pm
Explain to him that you think whatever broke you guys up isn't worth being apart. That your lives should be tangled together as long as they can, and he means so, so much to you.
February 11th, 2016 2:36pm
Go to 7 cups training and certificate section and train your self for managing emotions! That actually helps a lot!