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How do I get myself to stop constantly thinking about them?

17 Answers
Last Updated: 01/31/2022 at 10:05am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Penny Dahlen, Ed.D., LPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

I am committed to helping you find your passion, heal old wounds, and flow smoother in all aspects of your life path! I use a compassionate listening approach.

Top Rated Answers
March 6th, 2015 12:32pm
Distraction, distraction, distraction. Obsessing and old habit are your enemies - stop looking them up on FB or following them on twitter, watching their instagram or baiting mutual friends for 'tidbits'. Even just pondering 'what are they up to the moment? Who are they with? Are they happy?". And avoid things you 'used to do together'. Find a new restaurant/cinema etc. When the urge comes upon you - quickly do something else (even really mundane things like brushing and redoing your hair, applying a coat of nail polish, doing the dishes, putting in a load of laundry, sorting a work desk draw, going to the bathroom and reapplying your make up, do an exercise routine) ANYTHING which requires your concentration and attention. Breaking the chain with Action is the best way to wean yourself away for constantly thinking about someone. You are literally training yourself out of a the habit of giving someone your energy and attention.
March 28th, 2015 10:12pm
In my experience, keeping busy with the things I like to do- like meeting new people, drawing, reading a book- will keep my mind off of things I really shouldn't be thinking about. Enjoy your time and do you.
April 10th, 2015 10:18pm
Distract yourself and focus on something else. Do things for yourself. Create something, watch something, play something. Let yourself move on.
May 20th, 2015 6:54am
Its not easy to forget someone we care for and often we replay events in our mind. The best way to stop thinking about them is to look to the future! Always plan something to look forward to! It could be dinner with friends/family, a good book or movie or just a day spa treatment at home. You could also try planning time in the evening to write or think about that person. Set an alarm for a half hour, shut off your phone and all technology and allow yourself to deal with your feelings. Have a pity party, listen to music or write about what bothers you. Once that half hour is over, then you have to be done! While this may seem hard at first, you will see that the time you spend will eventually become positive and you will be planning your weekly events and other fun things. It also allows you time to deal with your feelings so when they pop into your mind at bad times, you tend to dwell on them less.
May 28th, 2015 9:17am
Try and Keep busy, find something positive to do like a hobby to distract you... It worked for me!!!
June 22nd, 2015 9:54pm
I find it best if you keep yourself busy. Go watch a movie with friends or even just go outside and do something.
August 3rd, 2015 1:37am
It's going to be really, really hard, but essentially you need to start thinking about something else. Distract, distract, distract. Do things that require your full attention.
January 18th, 2016 4:32pm
distract yourself and do something that makes you happy ex: painting or hanging out with someone close
January 19th, 2016 12:50pm
go out for a walk clear your mind ,go see a movie , enjoy the fresh air , call a friend to hangout , you will feel better sooner then later.
March 21st, 2016 8:46pm
Stay busy :) Hang out with other friends, or make new friends all together. Make better friends with yourself Go on new adventures and force yourself to live in the moment by creating environments that you don't want to leave. Personally, I like to go exploring, especially by myself. I find it a great way to come to terms with who I am and what I'm feeling while simultaneously being distracted by the new place. With time it will be easier.
June 13th, 2016 3:28pm
Tell me about some other friends or family members with whom you'd like to build stronger relationships or spend time with. I'm not suggesting you jump into a new relationship, just that you redirect your attention, building new memories and having experiences and events to look forward to. But if you want to talk about "them" as well I'm here to listen.
August 1st, 2016 8:51am
Are there any activities you like to do on your spare times? If there are -anything, like drawing, dancing, going to shelters and feeding animals, etc.- spend your time doing those. You'll have fun and maybe won't think about them just for a couple of hours.
August 2nd, 2016 3:18am
It is not easy to get someone off your mind especially if you were or are close to them.Just stay strong and keep yourself busy.
September 5th, 2016 1:36am
I go for a walk, eat ice cream, go to a bookstore and read s cool book, call my bestie, take some ugly selfies, go to a cinema and watch horror movie, eat bananas, drink juice, study, make my bed, cook something, clean my room.
September 26th, 2016 10:26pm
I had to learn to occupy my time doing other things because if not I would think about them all day.
March 7th, 2017 9:06pm
This is something that many people struggle with. There are articles out there about how love is a drug to your brain. You act differently when you're in love than when you aren't. If you find yourself obsessing, change your track - do something positive and creative, or even veg out on the couch.
January 31st, 2022 10:05am
Perhaps trying to find activities or hobbies that may interest you. At times, when we are stagnant in life it can be difficult to steer your mind off that person, but if you fill your mind with good times, not thinking about them will come more naturally. If you aren’t feeling like socializing at the moment you can try some more intimate things such as puzzles, painting, dancing, etc. You can always try new things until you find something that interests you. Also, constantly telling yourself not to think of them will probably not help all that much.