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How do I know I should break up with my boyfriend or girlfriend?

169 Answers
Last Updated: 04/07/2020 at 8:58am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
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Licensed Professional Counselor

A sex positive, and kink knowledgeable therapist with an open mindset and a clear understanding that we are all different.

Top Rated Answers
Pandette
November 17th, 2014 9:44pm
Well, I think you need to do a bit of self-reflection to answer this question. Are you still happy with your boyfriend/girlfriend? What is it that makes you want to stay with them or why do you want to leave? Try thinking of questions you might want the answer to or make a list of pro's and con's. Honestly, it all depends on you. Are you happy in the relationship?
Anonymous
November 20th, 2014 6:25pm
you shouldn't think of these stuff.. Concentrate on how you guys will improve as a couple and not like this...
Kaylei72
March 13th, 2015 3:18am
If they do not treat you well. The key to a relationship is to always be nice and kind. Dont let it get to the point where it can be abusive. Also if you lose interest, you dont want to continue the relationship.
Anonymous
March 22nd, 2015 4:48pm
There are many factors that weigh in to that. Do you feel safe with them? Are you happy with the relationship? Are you happy with your boyfriend or girlfriend? Self evaluation should happen first. Only after you've asked yourself all the necessary questions and are content with the conclusions you've come to, then you can make the decision.
KerrieBerrie77x3
April 1st, 2015 3:33am
If you aren't happy in your relationship, there's a red flag already. Being happy is the most important thing, and if being with a certain person doesn't do it for you, then you are in no obligation to stay with them. If you feel as if there's a rough patch you just can't get by or you can't compromise something, then staying in the relationship could be toxic for both of you.
alanbabani
May 8th, 2015 12:47pm
When you realised that respect has gone between both of you and know one have respect for the other one.
Anonymous
May 17th, 2015 7:22pm
You know if you look at the relationship and you realize that it doesn't make you happy anymore. Relationships are the connection of two people over time and sometimes time can make it so that that connection is no longer very satisfying for you. If you look at the person, or at your relationship with that person, and realize that it's not benefitting you or your happiness, it might be time to put some distance. That's not to say of course that there aren't hard times where the relationship won't make you happy. Those do happen, but it's about whether over time they are still making you happy or not. Look at the recent past - have things been going well? Is this just a rough patch? How long have you not been happy for? Ultimately, it is your decision and you know what's best for you, but take a look at the whole picture. Are you okay with the relationship? That will help you decide the best course of action.
maggierc
February 13th, 2016 6:35am
If you feel that your relationship with your boyfriend/girlfriend just isn't healthy anymore or you aren't happy with them, think about everything that you've been through with them and if the relationship is still worth it to you anymore.
TamaraHelps99
February 12th, 2016 7:13pm
I think this is a very personal question. I personally would breakup with my boyfriend if he cheated on me. But how I said it is different to every relationship.
politeRabbit
February 12th, 2016 2:55pm
You probably already know the answer to this. You should only be with someone you feel good with all the time.
ShiningBright19
February 11th, 2016 3:51pm
if you are not comfortable anymore with her/him. and you feel that s/he is not the one you loved or they are not worth it anymore :)
Greatlistener87
February 11th, 2016 6:45am
A relationship is a tricky process, its when you work together as a team and you are each others best friends. Make sure that you guys are doing things equally for each other and with each other.
courageleadstonewlife
February 6th, 2016 8:39pm
Usually if you are asking the question then you are ready to make that break. It can helpful to have a conversation with your boyfriend or girlfriend about what might be troubling you. Be honest and be kind breaking up can be painful for both parties even if it is the right choice to move on.
shvrry
February 18th, 2016 6:53am
If they treat you in a way you don't like then they're not the one. If you feel like you don't love them anymore, then move on. It's all based upon your inner emotions.
heavenlyPineapple23
February 18th, 2016 8:47am
How do i know i should break up with my boyfriend? This might be hard decision, but you need to think about your life. Here are the signs : 1. when you feel it doesn't work out anymore. 2. when you feel uncomfortable whenever he's beside you 3. When your goal is totally different.
Anonymous
February 19th, 2016 7:15pm
If you are being threatened, or abused in any way. It is time to break up with your boyfriend or girlfriend. If you feel unhappy in the relationship.
Meganishereforyou
February 19th, 2016 10:31pm
If the relationship is unhealthy amd you argue all the time or if they're is physical or emotional violence or if you've just fell out of love there's loads of different reason
Avila0713
February 21st, 2016 6:45am
If the love is not there, it's no need to waste each other's time. Let your partner know how you feel so there's no hard feelings and maybe it may be a mutual feeling between the both of you
Anonymous
February 21st, 2016 10:12am
When things start to become unhealthy. Like if he or she doesn't have time for you anymore, or when you don't have feelings for him or her anymore.
Anonymous
March 26th, 2016 7:02am
you will know, if you are unhappy and the relationship is not working out and you do not feel you can save it.
TangledRivers
February 21st, 2016 5:15pm
This is an extremely vague question with a multitude of answers. I would ask yourself 1.) Am I happy? 2.) Am I being treated well? 3.) Does this person help me be a better version of myself? 4.) Do I feel safe? If there's specific behaviour or feelings occurring that make you wonder whether you should be breaking up with them, you need to ask yourself 1.) Is the behaviour abusive? 2.) Does this person have my best interests in mind? 3.) Are their personal issues, or mine, interfering with the relationship? and so on. If you aren't sure what constitutes as 'abusive behaviour', there are resources online to help.
Aemelliah
April 13th, 2016 1:35pm
you dont need someone to tell you that..you feel the change in your relationship..you asking this means you know you should but you fear the after effect
Skygivesyoulight
March 18th, 2016 12:04pm
You know if you don't feel happy anymore or if they don't treat you right anymore. Do what makes you happy.
LordSabi
April 1st, 2016 6:01am
When the relationship hurts. Don't make them try and prove their love, that's an almost impossible task.
lipsticklez
March 31st, 2016 1:54am
If yall still love each other then there is hope Need more detail to help you out better What kind of relationship do yall have?
pleasinglyPoetic
April 9th, 2016 6:12pm
A person must do what they feel will make them happiest in life. If you feel like the relationship is not making you happy, then it may be time to consider a breakup. On the other hand, consider the situation long term; is there something that you can repair within the relationship to fix it? Just as you wouldn't dump your car if it got scratched, see if you can't fix whatever the problem is first. However, if your car is beyond repair, that's when you may want to lean more towards just getting a new one.
dxlight
March 16th, 2016 10:24pm
You should do it face to face. And trying not to start a fight cause of it. Maybe it could be also good to talk about what to do next and what kinda relationship do you want to have with eachother in the future
JK8287
March 18th, 2016 8:32am
For me its like I just know in my core, even if I don't want to admit it. I think that's a kind of knowing that western society or even modern society doesn't trust, but its super important if you ask me in relationships. Also you can watch your intentions around that person -- if they're mostly pure, that's a good sign. But if they're sinister, or manipulative, that would be a red flag to me.
Anonymous
March 16th, 2016 7:36pm
if they ever make you feel like you aren't respected or valued,if they ever make you feel like you aren't respected or valued
RewardingSun
March 19th, 2016 1:40am
You should never be with someone who makes you feel like less of a person. Anyone who makes you feel down, abused or as if you need to cause harm to yourself or others is no one to be with. That person doesn't deserve you or your time.