Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

How do I know I should break up with my boyfriend or girlfriend?

170 Answers
Last Updated: 04/07/2020 at 8:58am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Lauren Abasheva, LMHC

Licensed Professional Counselor

A sex positive, and kink knowledgeable therapist with an open mindset and a clear understanding that we are all different.

Top Rated Answers
KerrieBerrie77x3
April 1st, 2015 3:33am
If you aren't happy in your relationship, there's a red flag already. Being happy is the most important thing, and if being with a certain person doesn't do it for you, then you are in no obligation to stay with them. If you feel as if there's a rough patch you just can't get by or you can't compromise something, then staying in the relationship could be toxic for both of you.
alanbabani
May 8th, 2015 12:47pm
When you realised that respect has gone between both of you and know one have respect for the other one.
Anonymous
May 17th, 2015 7:22pm
You know if you look at the relationship and you realize that it doesn't make you happy anymore. Relationships are the connection of two people over time and sometimes time can make it so that that connection is no longer very satisfying for you. If you look at the person, or at your relationship with that person, and realize that it's not benefitting you or your happiness, it might be time to put some distance. That's not to say of course that there aren't hard times where the relationship won't make you happy. Those do happen, but it's about whether over time they are still making you happy or not. Look at the recent past - have things been going well? Is this just a rough patch? How long have you not been happy for? Ultimately, it is your decision and you know what's best for you, but take a look at the whole picture. Are you okay with the relationship? That will help you decide the best course of action.
courageleadstonewlife
February 6th, 2016 8:39pm
Usually if you are asking the question then you are ready to make that break. It can helpful to have a conversation with your boyfriend or girlfriend about what might be troubling you. Be honest and be kind breaking up can be painful for both parties even if it is the right choice to move on.
Greatlistener87
February 11th, 2016 6:45am
A relationship is a tricky process, its when you work together as a team and you are each others best friends. Make sure that you guys are doing things equally for each other and with each other.
ShiningBright19
February 11th, 2016 3:51pm
if you are not comfortable anymore with her/him. and you feel that s/he is not the one you loved or they are not worth it anymore :)
politeRabbit
February 12th, 2016 2:55pm
You probably already know the answer to this. You should only be with someone you feel good with all the time.
TamaraHelps99
February 12th, 2016 7:13pm
I think this is a very personal question. I personally would breakup with my boyfriend if he cheated on me. But how I said it is different to every relationship.
maggierc
February 13th, 2016 6:35am
If you feel that your relationship with your boyfriend/girlfriend just isn't healthy anymore or you aren't happy with them, think about everything that you've been through with them and if the relationship is still worth it to you anymore.
ahannahi96
February 17th, 2016 12:41pm
If your gut is telling you to, then do it. From experience, as soon as you question whether or not you should stay together, then you should leave.
Sophist26
February 17th, 2016 5:38pm
When you feel you're just the one who's doing all the work to make your relationship works.
VineyardVinesNike
February 18th, 2016 5:44am
Honestly, it completely depends on the situation and reason for breaking up, or not breaking up. There is a variety of answers to this question.
RyanLau21
February 18th, 2016 6:12am
If you look at her like you do when a big steak is put on your table. It's all about love. If you are in love with the person inside and out, you should stay.
shvrry
February 18th, 2016 6:53am
If they treat you in a way you don't like then they're not the one. If you feel like you don't love them anymore, then move on. It's all based upon your inner emotions.
heavenlyPineapple23
February 18th, 2016 8:47am
How do i know i should break up with my boyfriend? This might be hard decision, but you need to think about your life. Here are the signs : 1. when you feel it doesn't work out anymore. 2. when you feel uncomfortable whenever he's beside you 3. When your goal is totally different.
Anonymous
February 19th, 2016 7:15pm
If you are being threatened, or abused in any way. It is time to break up with your boyfriend or girlfriend. If you feel unhappy in the relationship.
Meganishereforyou
February 19th, 2016 10:31pm
If the relationship is unhealthy amd you argue all the time or if they're is physical or emotional violence or if you've just fell out of love there's loads of different reason
anonymousflow
February 20th, 2016 5:43am
The presence of someone special in you life is for keeping you happier. if you feel that the presence of your GF or bf is making your life go smoother and keeps you happier, go on...enjoy with him/her. if you feel like a burden or tensioned due to the relationship, its better part the ways!
Avila0713
February 21st, 2016 6:45am
If the love is not there, it's no need to waste each other's time. Let your partner know how you feel so there's no hard feelings and maybe it may be a mutual feeling between the both of you
Anonymous
February 21st, 2016 10:12am
When things start to become unhealthy. Like if he or she doesn't have time for you anymore, or when you don't have feelings for him or her anymore.
TangledRivers
February 21st, 2016 5:15pm
This is an extremely vague question with a multitude of answers. I would ask yourself 1.) Am I happy? 2.) Am I being treated well? 3.) Does this person help me be a better version of myself? 4.) Do I feel safe? If there's specific behaviour or feelings occurring that make you wonder whether you should be breaking up with them, you need to ask yourself 1.) Is the behaviour abusive? 2.) Does this person have my best interests in mind? 3.) Are their personal issues, or mine, interfering with the relationship? and so on. If you aren't sure what constitutes as 'abusive behaviour', there are resources online to help.
Anonymous
March 26th, 2016 7:02am
you will know, if you are unhappy and the relationship is not working out and you do not feel you can save it.
Aemelliah
April 13th, 2016 1:35pm
you dont need someone to tell you that..you feel the change in your relationship..you asking this means you know you should but you fear the after effect
daniixoxo
September 21st, 2014 3:55pm
If your boyfriend/girlfriend doesn't make you want to genuinely be a better person, than what you're feeling may be just lust and isn't real love.
Brittneym101
September 28th, 2014 3:20pm
If you don't love them and if you don't see a future with them those are 2 of the many reasons to breakup with someone
smileforawhile
October 15th, 2014 2:23am
I think you know when you should break up with your boyfriend or girlfriend. If you think you lost interest or you no longer have feelings for the person. Sometimes an event or a situation drags you two apart, which could be another cause for a break up. If you're not being treated fairly or respectfully, is another reason some couples decide to part ways.
LittleHealer
October 15th, 2014 5:00pm
When you feel more in love with the memories then with the person that you are dating. Also when you feel the relationship does not make you happy or holds you back with the things you really love in life.
Anonymous
May 31st, 2015 6:07am
If you find youself: liking other people, avoiding conversations with your bf/gf, or just plain wishing you weren't with them, it's probably time to stop the relationship.
QueerKitten
June 5th, 2015 11:04pm
If you aren't happy with the relationship anymore, and you've made attempts to fix it and/or you feel like it can't be fixed. Or if they are abusive in any way.
lovelyLynx18
June 17th, 2015 5:08am
You will know. The best sign would be if you don't really feel happy when you are with them. It is hard to explain but you will know that something doesn't feel right.