How do I know I should break up with my boyfriend or girlfriend?
169 Answers
Last Updated: 04/07/2020 at 8:58am
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Lauren Abasheva, LMHC
Licensed Professional Counselor
A sex positive, and kink knowledgeable therapist with an open mindset and a clear understanding that we are all different.
Top Rated Answers
If you are unhappy and you are aware that you are in an unhealthy relationship. If you, or the other person are continually in pain, or causing the other person pain.
It's very hard to do these things or to see clearly when blinded by the guards of love/care, but if you don't want to be with your significant other, then you shouldn't be. I'm not saying that any little hitch or problem is grounds for breaking up. No, on the contrary. You should always try to work through things that can be fixed. Always talk things out and let your partner know how you feel, especially if they've done something that's upset you and don't seem to care. It's probably because they don't know it affected you that way.
If you get to a point where it's constant problems or if you just don't feel the same, then you should end it.
Anonymous
September 2nd, 2015 2:50am
Anytime you feel the relationship doesn't serve your or make you happy either you don't feel connect to him/her anymore or you no longer have any feelings to your partner, especially if the relationship makes you feel worse and miserable. But whatever it is if you still loves your partner you can communicate with them before taking this big decision. Remember the broken glass can't be fix perfectly. Once you breakup with someone it will never ever come back to what it used to be. But, if you don't love them anymore, theres nothing else can help. Be honest to your partner and end the relationship.
When they no longer make you happy and give you what you need. If you're asking this question, it's probably time to let it go. It's important to remember that love isn't enough when it comes to relationships. You can love someone so much, but if you don't trust them or they hurt you or you can't spend enough time together: you need to walk away.
Trust your gut. What does it tells you? Once you started thinking about breaking up, it must be for a reason. Another good question to ask yourself is: how safe am I?
You will never really know. You can try to base it off events, but you should really follow your heart.
Anonymous
November 10th, 2015 7:52am
Because he isn't in love with me. I keep chasing people when I should be in a relationship of mutual desire.
Break up is not at all easy. A person has gone through many emotional turmoils. Such thing would only come to mind when proper give and take is not happening in life! SO break up could be like simply going away from some person who gave you certain stress or going away from some person who used to give you happiness. When context changes life changes too! So it's your viewpoint!
Anonymous
January 13th, 2016 11:20pm
That's a tough question, it depends on the situation and whats happening in the relationship.. If you and that person are not getting along then talk about your problems or take a break. The main decision is if you have feelings for them or not.
Anonymous
January 14th, 2016 5:32am
You are full of passion.. and that's a wonderful form of energy, I would suggest you try to put this energy into some other use.. maybe help someone in real life, make yourself available for help on 7 cups, make yourself busy with learning something new(an instrument, a language, or some life skill like swimming), My idea is you can do whatever you want to with this energy, dont waste it by crying over a person who left you and to whom you mean nothing.. he does not deserve your tears!!
Anonymous
January 16th, 2016 11:45pm
You can consider if you both are working towards similar goals, how you treat each other, the progression of your relationship, etc.
when you start to take advantage of each other it can only lead to someone getting hurt. loving someone sometimes means letting go
If you're no longer happy with them, if you're stuck in an abusuve or dangerous relationships, even if the spake just isn't there, it's best to get out of a relationship. If you don't, you'll just be unhappy, and life is about positivity.
If you feel as if they're cheating, lying about something big or you've lost feelings for them. You just know...
A few ways. First, if there is any physical, verbal or emotional abuse in the relationship, get out of it as fast as you can. Second, if you cannot see yourself being with them long term, you're wasting both you're time and their time. Third, if this question even crosses you're mind, things have to be worked out by talking to them about any problems in the relationship and trying to make it work or just ending it. This isn't a very simple question to answer because multiple factors go into this type of decision the best thing to do is follow what your heart says.
Anonymous
January 23rd, 2016 4:25pm
You should know that you need to breakup with your girlfriend or boyfriend when they are not putting the same amount of effort in the relationship as much as you are.
Once you realize him/her isn't acting like he/she used to..and are often in bad moods when they are around you or they talk less to you and give you less of their time..once you take note of the above signs sit you partner down and have a talk explain how ypu are feeling and if they say they'll change wait for it and give them.time but if they don't change it's time you leave them
Anonymous
January 25th, 2016 10:49pm
When the feeling of love isn't mutual and you've tried methods to revitalize it. Then you tried...so
Anonymous
January 27th, 2016 7:17pm
There must be a reason why you are asking this question. Has something happened to make you question the relationship?
The only think I can say is at you jsut know if you know the person them you know when it is time and you know how to do it
If he or she is sending mix signals, or if he or she is hanging out with the opposite sex. Or if he or she is abusing you. Abusive relationships are hard, your too scared to leave.
Anonymous
January 31st, 2016 6:06pm
If he/she is no longer making you happy or you are starting to loose feelings. It's better to let the person go if they do not make you happy anymore, put yourself first.
I know that I should break up with someone is when I realized that love isn't enough to continue a relationship. When trust and loyalty aren't enough. There are circumstances ahead, and I have to think about what's the best for the both of us.
Anonymous
February 3rd, 2016 9:47pm
You should really see if the amount of dedication put into the relationship is equal, and if they make you feel as good as you deserve
Anonymous
February 5th, 2016 4:00am
simply when they do not content you .. accept you .. love you in your bad moods like in good ones ..
If they are being very aggressive or being paranoid about who you are texting on your phone and telling you you can't talk to certaint people.
when you stop having feelings for them and start to see other girls/guys that you might start to have feelings for.
If you feel not valued, not loved and not respected. You cant never feel like you dont deserve a good and healthy relationship
Anonymous
February 24th, 2016 4:19pm
Well, breakups are caused by many different things. I suggest you sit alone for a while and really think about it. How things have been lately? How do you feel about them? Maybe even talk to them. Figure out what exactly is going on before making a desicion.
Anonymous
February 25th, 2016 5:46am
Is he or she abusing/ using you in any way? This is a large red flag if so. Anybody using anybody else isn't acceptable, really. If you are subjecting yourself to this, don't. There are many others who will see you as more than just a slave.
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