Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

How do I know I should break up with my boyfriend or girlfriend?

169 Answers
Last Updated: 04/07/2020 at 8:58am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Lauren Abasheva, LMHC

Licensed Professional Counselor

A sex positive, and kink knowledgeable therapist with an open mindset and a clear understanding that we are all different.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
April 20th, 2016 4:46am
you have to move on when you feel insecure. when you feel whatever you do you cannot change that person.. when the relationship gives you no happiness instead it puts you down..when you constantly feel like you are not a priority to them.
olimaar
May 3rd, 2016 2:53pm
You know you should break up if you aren't happy with spending time with them. The point of having a boy/girlfriend is to have someone to make you happy. If they don't do that for you than you should break up
Anonymous
July 19th, 2016 4:23pm
You should break up with them when you don't feel like you're committed, when you feel like the relationship is doing more bad than good in your life, or if you're just not happy anymore.
Anonymous
July 26th, 2016 8:39pm
If you do not feel what you felt at the beginning of the relationship and you don't feel anything with your partner, maybe it's time to cut the cord. Your partner should be able to make you happy and smile and provide you with what you need. If he is not doing a good job doing that, then why are you with him? If he is not enhancing your life, maybe it's time to leave. If you can picture your life without him, then you need someone else. Be with someone you can't live without.
Demigodz
August 30th, 2016 9:36am
Going about a breakup can be pretty difficult regardless of length of the relationship, because it all can impact us differently. Theres many different ways people can cope with this issue, you could listen to music, find different interest and hobbies, take some times to gather yourself. Taking time and taking care of yourself is the most important.
Anonymous
November 14th, 2016 11:22am
Having a relationship helps us to discover ourselves and become a better person that we love. And at the same time we do need to learn, compromise and sacrifice. But if the balance is broken and we no longer feel it worths it, then maybe it's time to stop
healingVoice43
January 9th, 2017 1:19am
A relationship should be based on mutual respect and support, while every relationship is different, if your partner does not treat you in a compassionate manner it may be worth contemplating if this is the right person for you. There are many signs of which relationship is or isn't a good relationship however that always depends on the person, your own boundaries and what feels right for you.
NicholasW
April 10th, 2017 10:26pm
Well you look at the main reasons such as are they cheating, sleeping with another person, or something else.
LittleScottieDog
May 2nd, 2017 12:32am
If they abuse you physically or emotionally, or seem controlling or too possessive. If they constantly ask who you've been hanging around with or what you do when you go out, they may not trust you much.
TogetherForeverAlways
January 29th, 2018 4:57pm
If love has died, if you feel like you don't recognize yourself anymore (in a bad way) or if the relationship has become toxic
Summerrrrloverrrr
March 26th, 2018 2:00pm
If you really dont like your significant other that’s one reason to breakup and if you don’t feel comfortable around or with your partner the you should breakup
randominfinity
June 5th, 2018 7:59am
When you don't feel like it's necessary for you to make time for them. Relationship is about being there for each other.
glowingHope12
June 12th, 2018 2:16am
This is something only you can decide based on how the person makes you feel and how you relate to this person. Ask yourself does the person I'm with value you or add any value to your life? Do they motivate you in all/most areas of your life or are they trying to put you down every opportunity they get? Do they care for you?...etc
Anonymous
July 3rd, 2018 6:53am
If you already have thoughts about breaking up with them you should concider it . You should break up with thwm if they do things that you dont agree with or if they do things you arent comfortable with.
Concernedetachment
July 31st, 2018 11:53am
you need to first check if you feel safe with your partner. Happiness is a transient moment. It comes and goes. Dont base your break up on the basis of rough patches. Base it on how close is your partner to your ideal partner. Base it on compatibility and mutual respect. If you dont feel your real partner matches up to your ideal partner, check what is it that is missing and talk to your partner about it. If he isnt responsive or caring enough, you know you should end it.
Graysonissmall
October 9th, 2018 11:31pm
In my own experience, there are many reasons one should end a relationship. You just have to ask yourself a few simple questions. First question could be something along the lines of 'Does he/she treat me how i need to be treated?'. Another question could be 'Does he/she make me happy?'. I suppose that the last question could probably be something like 'Do they fight me a lot?' or 'Do we argue often over stupid things that don't need to be argued over?'. If you say no to the first two and yes to the last two, then it's probably a relationship that will hurt you in the end, and i suggest you get out of it.
Anonymous
November 20th, 2019 12:05am
One way you can tell it's time is if you always envision your future without your partner. If you aren't happy with them, and it isn't resolving, that's another big sign. There will always be ups and downs, but if there's a constant issue that wont resolve, or if your partner isn't willing to resolve it, then it could be time to move on. And of course, never stay with someone who isn't treating you well mentally or physically. Don't be afraid to back out of a bad situation like that. You deserve the best for yourself, and your partner deserves the same.
BeesOnFlowers
March 31st, 2020 4:08pm
Your ability to rationally assess a situation is crucial to a healthy relationship. If you ever feel unable to think rationally or find yourself thinking severely irrationally, you may need to find someone who is. These issues you face may be incredibly severe but without a realistic perspective, a healthy and positive outcome is difficult to come to. Be aware of toxic behavior and ensure you are able to remain independent despite your affection to your significant other. You should never be afraid to voice your concerns and issues with your partner and you should never allow for your partner to feel alone in their issues either.
Jenn20
April 7th, 2020 8:58am
1) You both don't put equal effort into the relationship 2) You both don't treat each other like human beings and love each other 3) You both look at different people and think to yourself you want to be with that person instead 4) You both don't respect each other 5) They relationship feels too stressful and depressing to be in 6) You both don't listen to each other or communicate well 7) There is abuse happening in the relationship 8) They don't listen and understand when you talk to them about something very important to them 9) The fights are constant and you both find it hard to forgive each other