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How do i know if my ex wants me back?

125 Answers
Last Updated: 11/25/2020 at 4:38pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Amy Green, MA; LMFT

Marriage & Family Therapist

I am a Licensed Marriage Family Therapist in the state of California and Oregon. I've been in private practice for 10 years and have been in the counseling field for 15 years.

Top Rated Answers
BestMotivationer
July 31st, 2016 12:50am
You can know if your ex want you back if he keeps messaging you like he used to when you were together, or if he sends poems, flowers, chocolate, or lastly but most definitely if he say I want you back.
BasilAngel
July 31st, 2016 3:18pm
The old quote "actions speak louder than words" still applies in this situation. Let them show you that they care, not just say it to you because it's not worth getting your hopes up because of a particular text they sent you with some flirty message. You deserve more than that.
Anonymous
August 3rd, 2016 5:01am
If they want you back they will contact you. If they don't it means they don't want you back as much as you think they do.
steelnerve
August 4th, 2016 8:01pm
You don't. You can't. Except until you ask your ex about it. Stop overthinking about it. And crack a joke or two about it, preferably when you cross paths with your ex.
Zac001
August 7th, 2016 5:50am
I would try and just have an open conversation about it with them. The only way you can really know is to ask.
Anonymous
August 7th, 2016 11:05am
Well, the most telling way would be if they tell you! It's frustrating sometimes to get mixed signals, but if you're comfortable asking them what they think, I would just ask them about it.
Anonymous
August 7th, 2016 12:18pm
Talk to them about it.. Dont assume yourself and don't dwell into faulty thoughts that give you assumptions or negative feeling or extreme emotions.. Be rational and tackle situations smartly :)
cherry09
August 11th, 2016 4:05am
They may start to message you again and they may be a little bit more flirtatious than they used to and they will be suggesting to hang out together more often. You may see a dazed look in their eye when they look at you
Anonymous
August 12th, 2016 4:34am
I think you should analyze your past relationship with him/her before considering going back. analyze why the relationship did not work out. Listen to his reason to want you back. You have to make sure he/she is not being impulsive with their decision because your ex feel alone. Take the time before making a decision because the worst thing is to say yes and to get heartbreak another time.
Patty24
August 17th, 2016 6:52pm
You more than likely will know your ex wants you back because he will tell you he wants you back. However, you have to pay attention to his actions. Actions speak louder than words. If he truly wants you back then what he says will match what he does.
CaylenGurlii
August 18th, 2016 8:40pm
If they are liking your posts on social media, if they still text you on the daily, and if they purposefully try to be where you are at the times you are, that is how you would know.
Anonymous
September 1st, 2016 1:54pm
If you still want to know if your Ex wants you back, the answer is probably you want him/her back. There is no logical way to answer that. If your ex wants you back he/she must confess their love for you.
sereneDreamer45
September 2nd, 2016 9:22pm
Ask them. Keep it simple. Life is not half as complicated as we sometimes make it out to be. Consider the best and worst possible outcomes, weigh them out.
allnaturalUnicorns70
September 8th, 2016 2:13pm
The same way anyone else would let you know they are interested in dating you. If he/she isn't actively attempting to get back together, they probably aren't interested. You're welcome to reach out yourself if that makes you happy.
Armaanridhima123
September 8th, 2016 7:48pm
If someone really loved you he would've never left you! if there are kind of missunderstandings then he could've solved it before being an ex.
cosyheart21
September 17th, 2016 11:22pm
As hard as it is to accept, if your ex broke up with you, then he or she doesn't want you back. As much as we'd like to think that they're pining away over us, regretting their mistake, it's not happening. They've moved on, and the sooner you can accept this, the easier it will be for you to heal.
Anonymous
September 18th, 2016 5:18am
Hmmn they are a ex for reasons so if they haven't change maybe they should stay an ex. Texting or calling will only confuse things
Kat140615xx
September 18th, 2016 3:03pm
Only answer is to be honest with that person. You know the answer, but going back to exs is not always a good idea,
FrantasticTea
September 24th, 2016 6:25am
If your ex really wanted you back, they'd be obvious about it. They'd ask you directly, they'd talk to you often, they might even do sweet little gestures to win you back.
lonelyWolf20
October 22nd, 2016 11:04pm
If an ex really wants you back, he'll go looking for you and it'll be pretty obvious. He may start by being friendly, wanting to "catch up" or go straight to the point.
mcla
November 9th, 2016 2:59pm
They would generally make it visible to you. Most of the time, they try to get your attention and sweet talk you into noticing that they want you back
Anonymous
January 26th, 2017 3:32pm
Everybody acts different in certain situations. There's no rule book on how you know that he/she wants you. You know the person and how they act. Do they try to get you jealous? Do they hide emotions? The most secure way to tell is to simply start talking to them again and very slowly see where things goes.
Anonymous
February 17th, 2017 12:19am
Ask him. The best way to go about these situations is laying it all on the table and being upfront, even if it feels uncomfortable. Sure, you might feel weird or awkward at first, but at least you will get your answer.
lauram95
February 18th, 2017 12:13am
Unfortunately the only way to know how an ex is feeling towards you is to talk to them. Hopefully they will let you know how they feel.
divinewillpower86
May 7th, 2017 7:53am
Actually this is a tricky questions. The roots lies in the past. Who knows your ex has concluded that the break up was a right decision or was a failure. He/she could even want to meet to make sure the decision was right or simply could think of nowing the curent stage in your life. however, yes there is possibility that he/she can communicate to start a new relationship again. However, it depends on your soul heart n intuitions.
marissaskiss
June 14th, 2017 6:18am
The best way to know is if they tell you themselves. Having a serious discussion with your ex, especially after a breakup is crucial in knowing whether or not it would be worth it to give it another try!
Schultzy
July 21st, 2017 7:45pm
If your ex wants to get back with you, You'll notice they are more than likely being friendlier than usual, Flirting, or asking to see you again. The one thing to always keep in mind if you are considering getting back with an ex, is that most people end up breaking up again for the same reason they originally did. Make sure to take all factors into account when deciding if you want to give things another try.
Villa99
September 3rd, 2017 9:55pm
You'll feel it. She'll contact you. Or you may contact her, when the time feels right, and as the conversation goes on you'll find she is very interested in what you're saying and feeling.
AngelandSerena22
September 25th, 2017 9:56pm
You'd have to ask your ex if they you want you back or not. Asking questions is important so as not to add confusion.
Paperdoll21
November 8th, 2017 7:18am
If your ex really wants you back. He'll come to you if he truely loves you. But keep in mind why you broke up in the first place.