How do I start to live a life without the person I can't live without?

122 Answers
Last Updated: 07/11/2019 at 4:08am
How do I start to live a life without the person I can't live without?
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Brenda King, PsyD

Psychologist

I treat life changes, women’s issues, and issues of aging using evidence-based treatments with healthy doses of warmth, empathy and humor to enhance healing and growth.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
June 18th, 2015 2:34am
You have an adiction to this person . The thingame is you think you can'tI've without that person. But in reality you can.and you will
PoetaSinVersos
January 16th, 2015 6:33pm
The only person whom you can't live without is you yourself. Keep telling you that because it is true. You come alone to the world, you go away alone. It's hard to let go someone you really love, but it's necessary and sometime you'll find it was the correct thing to do, to keep on moving.
VitaminCee
July 20th, 2015 10:10am
First of all,to have a mindset that you cannot possibly function and live life correctly without somebody else,is extremely unhealthy.You need to learn how to love and take care of youself as well as be able to do things without the complete dependency on another person.Nobody else is going to know exactly what you feel and need at the exact moment except you.You're the only person that will heal and carry yourself through life no matter how impossible and lonely that sounds.Do not give someone the power to make you feel like you can't survive on your own.People leave and you're the only person that will stay with you so you might as well live life with yourself and depend on yourself and love yourself because you're going to be stuck with you for the rest of your life.
adorableNarwhal33
November 9th, 2016 11:47am
Losing a relationship can feel like a mini-death, complete with a grieving process. First, you’re shocked and in denial. You don’t believe it’s over and you hold out hope. Next, you feel hurt and guilty. You should have done things differently. If you did you wouldn’t be in this pain. Then, you feel angry and maybe even start bargaining. It would be different if you gave it a second go. You wouldn’t be so insecure, defensive, or demanding. Then you might feel depressed and lonely as it hits you how much you’ve lost. Eventually, you start accepting what happened and shift your focus from the past to the future. You have to go through the feelings as they come, but you can help yourself get through them faster. For example, if you’re dwelling in guilt, make forgiving yourself a daily practice. Read books on it, meditate about it, or write about it in a journal.
cosyheart21
September 17th, 2016 11:03pm
This may be hard to accept, but it's true: If your ex was stupid enough to leave you, you have to be smart enough to let them go. It's difficult, but after a while, you have to remember that you want to be with someone who is in love with you, and wants to be with you -not someone you've shared great memories with, but doesn't want to be with you. It's difficult to accept, but if someone doesn't want to be with you, the best thing to do is to let them go, and take care of yourself. Put yourself first, and try to move on optimistically. After all, your vibe attracts your tribe.
Anonymous
June 14th, 2015 10:19pm
You take each day as it comes. Start by doing little things that isn't require them and gradually build it up. Tell yourself that you can do it every day- until you start to believe it. Realise that you're worth more than this ache and pain. I swear it get better.
CaleahDeAnn
May 3rd, 2016 8:41pm
If you want to life without the person you can't live without, try to talk to them less. Like make conversation short. And see them less. it will become easier everyday.
Anonymous
November 9th, 2016 6:01pm
The best way is to realize, that the only person you really can't live without is yourself. Take care of yourself first. You are amazing, and you will find the people who will love you for who you are. Please don't settle for less.
infinitelyhere
October 30th, 2016 1:36am
If the person can live without you it shows where you stand in their life. That just means you need to know that there is someone out there who is willing to fight to keep you in their life. That's the person you are meant to be with.
iluvcupc4k35
October 9th, 2016 8:23pm
You won't want to hear this but at the end of the day everyone is replaceable. Not immediately so, you'll need to go through some of the pain and will let others take a chance at being in your life, but once that happens, they can grow on you in unexpected ways and you will be more satisfied than before for it. There is a reason why you can't be with who you desire to be with. Don't let it take away your spirit. There must have been a time before and now there's a time after. Give it a chance and embrace the new opportunities.
MachineGKyla
October 5th, 2016 4:33pm
I'm sorry if this sounds rude but, you can't depend on someone else to make you happy, you have to make yourself happy. I know it's hard but it gets easier
Godlovesus
September 24th, 2016 5:57pm
This will take time, but you have to keep your will power strong. Remember that there is a reason that both of you are not together anymore. Relationships work when both people are making equal efforts but one person alone cannot save a relation. So if you broke up with your spouse then that chapter in your life is over now you have gradually prepare yourself for your future. This may sound a little harsh to you but the fact is that life never stops for anyone. If someone moves out of your life then their part in your life is over but life will keep moving on. You have to accept this new fact and again build yourself emotionally for a better future.
shiningDay13
March 18th, 2015 7:03am
Take it one day at time. The easiest way is to fill that void by surrounding yourself with supportive friends. You can do activities you and your ex used to do together with them, or you can just stay in with them, whatever you want. Sometimes your friends won't be available when you really need someone, so you can always chat to someone here on 7cups. Eventually, you'll find yourself gradually doing some of these things of your own, and you'll be ok with it.
WorkInProgress11
October 21st, 2016 7:34pm
Honestly, that's a really hard question. I'm working through the same thing myself. The best (and unfortunately most cliché) advice I have is to take things one day at a time. There will be really hard days, and there will be easier days. Eventually, the easier days become more frequent. Think about something that you want to do, whether it be learn a new skill or go on a trip or complete a project. Start focusing on that goal. It helps to have something to put your energy into.
Greatlistener87
March 22nd, 2016 1:55am
The saying goes that the only time you can't live is when your dead. Other than that you are alive and you can make it. Always remember as long you move forward new people will come into your life and things will change for the better.
uniquecreature41
November 18th, 2016 7:21pm
If you're living without them already, here's a newsflash; you've already started. You're already on that road, painful though it may be. You're probably bang in the middle of that hideous time where you simply cannot imagine a life without them, you cannot envisage any day where they are not part of it. But you also know there was a time without them and there will be a time again when they aren't in your life and you aren't dying as a result. If you're currently in the eye of the storm try and hang on to one fact; taking it a moment at a time, an hour at a time and eventually a day at a time will get you through this. And breathing in and out helps a lot too...
Anonymous
January 14th, 2015 9:58pm
Start by finding things are you are cool with doing by yourself. Next, cultivate relationships and friendships with others. Try new things. Develop new hobbies and activities. Before you know it you'll be leaving your ex where they belong...in the past.
Anonymous
September 17th, 2016 12:44pm
It will be a hard time to start a life without the person you can't live without but your life must go on.
Cocomojo
October 23rd, 2016 9:30pm
Turn the devotion you had for your partner inward and begin to rediscover the well of strength that you have at your centre.
Patientheart08
February 2nd, 2017 3:16pm
First you must find yourself again find out what made you happy before that person came along in your life and try to embrace that n hold on to that
TheCup5893
April 21st, 2017 10:53am
I think you're already living it. The person isn't there anymore. You're living life with their memories, memories that are both bittersweet and heartwarming. Please go with your survival instincts - eating 3 meals a day, getting good sleep, keeping up to date with work, and doing that little nice thing for yourself. This advice is as much for you as it is for me. We're in the same boat. Mustering every ounce of strength and sailing through the storm.
Anonymous
January 18th, 2016 4:31pm
Firstly, I would strongly advise to try and move on. Don't contact the person and distract yourself with people you love and things you like to do
Anonymous
October 21st, 2016 6:26am
First of all accept the reality. Then try to face it and let the life move on with new goal. Everything happens for a good reason.
MrMeNr1
March 13th, 2015 9:33pm
The most important thing is not how you do it, but that you do it. Start living, eat, sleep, study, meet people, whatever suits you. Eventually you will start feeling alive again.
XDellaX
July 7th, 2015 6:12pm
Live how they would have wanted you to live. Yes it will be hard without them, and you will grief, but you have to move on with your life and make it the best you can.
Mugiwara
August 4th, 2015 10:56am
There is no such thing as 'not being able to live without someone'. You can get dependent on someone after being with them for a long time, but there will always be a helping hand and someone that can provide you with the same things to the prior person.
Anonymous
October 1st, 2016 11:15pm
Losing someone can be an overwhelming thing to overcome, but it's important to remember that it is possible to cope. Time does heal us - and eventually life will become more manageable. You just need to give yourself time to accept and grieve the loss.
WhenTheTimeComes
October 29th, 2016 8:08pm
We just do, one day at a time, like robots for awhile to dull the pain, then we can offer ourselves those ups and downs that go with reflecting on what we have lost, because we grow stronger again, and in the end the person we can't live without, it's us. Healing it's a bit like falling in love "falling in love it's like falling asleep, slowly at first, then all at once" (The Fault in Our Stars").
Lorraine234
March 22nd, 2017 7:09am
start remembering who YOU are. remember that you are an independent person who is capable of so much more. Go out, have fun and find yourself again.
ASilentObserver
August 20th, 2017 8:48am
You're right! It feels so and seems difficult to live. But with the time as you go on in your life, you start learning to live without the person.