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How do I start to live a life without the person I can't live without?

166 Answers
Last Updated: 05/22/2022 at 4:55pm
How do I start to live a life without the person I can't live without?
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Lisa Groesz, PhD

Psychologist

With evidenced based therapies, we find the root of the problem together to implement solutions. We all face crises, transitions, or disorders at some time.

Top Rated Answers
Rayofhope16
October 16th, 2016 8:19pm
The person without whom you cannot live it's someone whom you love the most, and when you love someone, he or she is always going to remain in your heart. Sooner or later we all have to leave this world, and it's impossible to keep your dear ones in your arms forever. It's their soul that you love, and it will always be with you even when their bodies are gone. Being sad after they're gone is only gonna make your life miserable and they would certainly not want that to happen to your life. Instead, live your life to the fullest for yourself as well as for the ones who left early.
Hereforyou19941115
August 6th, 2017 8:40pm
If you're saying that you cannot live without so live with. Live with this person share what you want to do,what you are afraid of,share youre success with him,talk to him,let him be proud of you,if someone isn't here as a person from bone and blood that doesn't meen he isn't here,he is here in your soul in your mind.
EveMarshal
February 23rd, 2017 12:42pm
Go back to yourself thinking about the time when you're not having someone yet in your life. Then start a new fresh of life. But this time, focus on your life, enjoy the moment and advantages of being single, then dream again, love and respect yourself, then everything else will follow. #RestoreLife #RestoreYourSpirit
Anonymous
October 1st, 2016 11:29am
When you start to live a life without the person you have spent it with for a long time, you find out new things about yourself you never knew before. First you lived according to your partner - in a compromise. Try doing things you always wanted to do. You might find a new you. It might help you forget about your partner as well.
NeptunePH
April 7th, 2018 10:54am
First thing I'd recommend is acknowledging and accepting that that person is gone. It will be hard at first, losing an important person is an extremely hard experience. But the feeling of grief will go away after some time. Try to do activities that make you happy, focus on some hobbies, just try to get your mind off it. It will get better, trust me.
LoveAll425
September 11th, 2016 5:40am
The only person whom you can't live without is you yourself. Keep telling you that because it is true. You come alone to the world, you go away alone. It's hard to let go someone you really love, but it's necessary and sometime you'll find it was the correct thing to do, to keep on moving.
speaktolors
May 10th, 2018 1:58pm
I know it feels as though you can't go on. But I like to think of it like this - there's this big space in your life now, right? Think of all the things you love to do. Maybe you really love to watch the sunset and enjoy the day cooling down. Maybe you like early nights. Look at this as an opportunity to fill your life all the way up with kisses and memories and friendships. You can make this your motivation to become the person you want to be! After breakups (friendship or relationship), I tend to be very harsh with myself. Instead of trying to stop that completely I find it's easier to make it positive. If you wish things were different try and think of things you CAN change. Think of all the things you wish you could do or be and speak them into existence. Get rid of any memories of this person - phone number and social media. It's not childish. It's necessary to move on. Remember - it feels awful right now, but it won't always hurt like this. We like to think we can control other people and the world - but the only thing we can control is ourselves. Good luck and keep your head high. xxx
Anonymous
February 2nd, 2017 4:16am
Start small. I know how hard it can be. Build a life you can be proud of. Learn new skills, take care of yourself, fill your home with love. Start small. Nothing is insignificant. We've all had days where our only to-do item was to shower or to eat. Keep pushing. Those little things will add up. I promise.
AlternativeEmo
June 25th, 2017 4:25pm
Well, the way I got through a major heart break was to always remember that even though I was alone, I never was alone. I had 1 friend to support me, and that was enough for me. My friend reminded me that I need to stay alive to prove to my ex that I don't need him anymore. That they may have hurt me but it will not be the end of me. To take all my sorrow and fuel it into hatred.
HappyHarley
November 17th, 2016 5:53am
Personally, I don't believe in not being able to live without a person, unless they are your only source of money. Life goes on, we have to focus on more important matters in life such as securing a stable future. We need oxygen, food, water and money to live. Focus on these first before worrying about others.
coconutboat
February 10th, 2017 7:16pm
"The things you think you need for happiness aren't the things you think you need." -Irene Mueni I have personally been in a number of dependent/codependent relationships. It is just in my nature to be a caregiver, and sometimes a receiver as well. It took me realizing that I cannot rely, or let someone else rely on me for every little thing to begin my healing journey. It takes time, believe me, it is a process. However, once you realize all that you're looking for is within you, the entire world opens up and you feel as if you can breathe again. Take your time, and trust yourself.
Mademoiselle868
June 23rd, 2017 11:55pm
When we build a life with someone, and build hopes and dreams with them, moving on and starting over isn't easy. It helps to talk to other people who have been where you are and understand what you're going through.
kalipocket
November 2nd, 2016 1:38pm
Do not underestimate the little things that bring you happiness. Whether it's taking the time to have a bubble bath, watching your favourite movie, or taking your dog for a walk. Do as many of these things, as often as you can, and slowly you will find more things that make you happy each day - outside of that person. And as always, surround yourselves with people that support and love you.
Anonymous
November 4th, 2016 4:24pm
Cry whenever you need to and whenever you want to and listen to the most sad songs. Watch divorce videos on Youtube and know that love (sadly) is temporary. It does not last in most cases.
JessieAnderson
April 19th, 2017 12:21pm
You can always live without someone. No matter who it is. At one point, you just learn to adapt. You learn to love yourself and be happy with yourself because you are enough, and it may take time to comprehend your own worth, but someday you will realize how truly enough you are for yourself. You start to live a life without someone by love the life you live. Do the things you love, really breathe in air, feel the music you listen to, see the beautiful things you get to watch everyday. So I guess the simple answer to your question would be, just live.
Peacelover057
April 6th, 2018 6:57pm
In order to live without the person you think you cannot live without, you need to love yourself immensely first. The day you understand that you do not need someone else to make you whole is the day you start living.
Textingpals
October 30th, 2020 1:05pm
That's a challenging step you are trying to take. But, note: challenging step. Not impossible. I appreciate your courage, I respect the efforts you are putting into helping yourself. To answer your question, I would say, the first step you have to take is to stop assuming that you can't live without them. Stop assuming you *need* them. You may miss them, want them, carve them, but need? That's, my friend, is not a person. Never a person. Once you have acknowledged that the only person you ever need to live is *yourself*, you are half way through the battle. Second step is try to make a list of everything you enjoy: hobbies, songs, concerts, movies, dramas, parties, ceremonies etc. Any and every little thing you enjoy, as silly as it may. Try to make a to-do of everything you want to complete/experience in the next few days. Work on that. Do everything for yourself. Take time off everything and do things for yourself. Take long, soothing, morning walks. Night or evening walks if you are not a big fan of mornings. Try new dishes, your favourite dishes to be specific, entertain yourself with things you enjoy: new hobbies, books, movies etc. Try to make yourself excited for little things in life, like showers (rain showers), walks or visiting a place. Try to talk to new people, or old ones- which you like, obviously- try to form new friend circles; try to keep yourself away from toxicity. Try to bring back the feeling of looking forward to something: be it a small party, a date or just a walk. Try to think of life as an adventure. Try to fall in love with yourself, all over again. As fantastical as it may sound, the feeling is worth everything at the end of the day.
Anonymous
September 30th, 2018 2:56am
I think that the first start is to try to find something or someone that is healthy to fill the hole. Maybe find a new hobby or a new friend. But it all truly depends on how big the hole is without them. Another suggestion would be to slowly start replacing good memories you had with them with great better ones with a different person. Like if you pass a old bar where you guys used to grab drinks on a Friday night, invite a friend there so you guys can make an unforgettable memory. The main idea is to not hang onto what they offered and to bond with others to fill the hole that they left
Dontworryihatelifetoo
September 28th, 2018 4:38am
You need to accept the fact that you cannot love with them. It is hard and it takes time to move on but it will get better. Accept that there is such thing as a happy life without them. It’s up to you to make your life, without them, successful. Do not blame yourself for the cause of this person exiting your life for whatever reason. The last thing you should do is make yourself feel like it is your fault. Remember that acceptance is key. Once you accept what has happened and what is going to happen, it’s smooth sailing from there.
Anonymous
April 25th, 2018 5:51pm
The only person who you can't live without is you yourself. The best way is to realize, that the only person you really can't live without is yourself. Take care of yourself first. You are amazing, and you will find the people who will love you for who you are. Please don't settle for less. And just take each day as it comes
CastielIsPerfect
September 5th, 2017 5:10pm
It's tricky. When you lose someone important, its all about one day at a time. It becomes less painful. Try to surround yourself with people who make you happy. Do things that bring you joy. Be in places that make you feel at peace. Do things for you, it is ok to care about yourself.
Funfloor
April 25th, 2015 5:25am
Well, here are few tips. And it is upon you to if you choose to use this or not. 1. Take suggestion from people who surround you.( well you are doing it right now). 2. Find a way out, you know what is best for you. 3. Try to control AT( called Automatic Thought). Google and see what is it. ( If you have already tried it then, make an appointment with a therapist. ) and if you have a therapist and it is not working for you then find another one. I think I cover all of the stuff.
MiralMichelMahilian
January 6th, 2017 4:10pm
You have to accept the fact that sometimes we are not bound to be with certain people whom we love so dearly and that it is okay to feel sad but trust me time will heal everything, you just have to accept the fact that you have to start a new life with someone else because it is what it is and if you are bound to be with that person, you will be.
radiantFlute
January 20th, 2017 5:31pm
Recognise that you have to live without this person. Find new ways of filling your time: new hobbies, sports, or even a support group if you are struggling. Reach out to existing family or friends to keep you busy for the first couple of weeks; don't be afraid to ask people for help.
warmEnergy42
December 31st, 2016 11:50pm
That's a good question. I would suggest trying to make a list of things you enjoyed doing by yourself or with friends before this person entered your life. Take small steps if need be, but get back into the things that brought you joy before you ever met this person. Get back in touch with old friends or hang around family members. Try new experiences too! I hope this helped and I wish you the best. :)
Zebrasarcastic
June 7th, 2016 7:30pm
Sometimes people leave us even if they don't want to just remember the memories the things they'd want if they would have been there
readingDream88
November 17th, 2017 4:08am
You can live without the person - you're your own wonderful, independent person! It might be really hard at first, but you will eventually be able to realize that you don't need them, and that you're able to build a life on your own.
thegoodgirl9798
January 24th, 2018 1:58pm
just start it slowly, you're not in race with everybody else. maybe you'll feel alone and having a hard time. but it is a process to be a better you
Anonymous
January 2nd, 2019 11:05pm
The most important thing is not how you do it, but that you do it. Start living, eat, sleep, study, meet people, whatever suits you. Eventually you will start feeling alive again. First of all,to have a mindset that you cannot possibly function and live life correctly without somebody else,is extremely unhealthy.You need to learn how to love and take care of youself as well as be able to do things without the complete dependency on another person.Nobody else is going to know exactly what you feel and need at the exact moment except you.You're the only person that will heal and carry yourself through life no matter how impossible and lonely that sounds.Do not give someone the power to make you feel like you can't survive on your own.People leave and you're the only person that will stay with you so you might as well live life with yourself and depend on yourself and love yourself because you're going to be stuck with you for the rest of your life.
Anonymous
July 6th, 2018 6:47pm
Moving on from any relationship can be hard no matter whether it's a boyfriend/girlfriend or a friendship. One of the best ways to deal with it is firstly to cut all contact with the person so that you're not constantly reminded f their existence.