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How do I start to live a life without the person I can't live without?

166 Answers
Last Updated: 05/22/2022 at 4:55pm
How do I start to live a life without the person I can't live without?
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Lisa Groesz, PhD

Psychologist

With evidenced based therapies, we find the root of the problem together to implement solutions. We all face crises, transitions, or disorders at some time.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
August 13th, 2017 4:44pm
Start putting yourself out there. Change your mindset about the situation. You're saying that you can not live without this certain person, but that does not have to be true. Get up and go do things to get your mind off of them. Start meeting new people or getting together with friends. You will soon see that you do not need this person in order for you to be happy with your life.
Anonymous
August 19th, 2017 9:53pm
Learn to love yourself is very important. Keep on the positive side on what you can offer to others.
UniqueWinchester
August 20th, 2017 2:02am
Find new hobbies and meet new people. People come and go but it is important to focus on you. Do some self care.
readingDream88
November 17th, 2017 4:08am
You can live without the person - you're your own wonderful, independent person! It might be really hard at first, but you will eventually be able to realize that you don't need them, and that you're able to build a life on your own.
thegoodgirl9798
January 24th, 2018 1:58pm
just start it slowly, you're not in race with everybody else. maybe you'll feel alone and having a hard time. but it is a process to be a better you
Anonymous
July 6th, 2018 6:47pm
Moving on from any relationship can be hard no matter whether it's a boyfriend/girlfriend or a friendship. One of the best ways to deal with it is firstly to cut all contact with the person so that you're not constantly reminded f their existence.
strawberrynpeachcream
August 18th, 2018 1:00am
Although starting a life with someone you cannot live without may seem hard at first, it's important to understand that you control your own life and you are the one that will live through it forever. I personally think that putting your hand your fate into the palms of others may be unhelpful to your growth as a person. Starting a life by yourself is a daunting experience, especially if the person you want to be there is not there however, understand that your fate lies within your own hand. It is positive to try to understand that the life you want to live is within your control and having someone else there may possibly affect the best path you want to take in life.
Anonymous
January 2nd, 2019 11:05pm
The most important thing is not how you do it, but that you do it. Start living, eat, sleep, study, meet people, whatever suits you. Eventually you will start feeling alive again. First of all,to have a mindset that you cannot possibly function and live life correctly without somebody else,is extremely unhealthy.You need to learn how to love and take care of youself as well as be able to do things without the complete dependency on another person.Nobody else is going to know exactly what you feel and need at the exact moment except you.You're the only person that will heal and carry yourself through life no matter how impossible and lonely that sounds.Do not give someone the power to make you feel like you can't survive on your own.People leave and you're the only person that will stay with you so you might as well live life with yourself and depend on yourself and love yourself because you're going to be stuck with you for the rest of your life.
Skuhlm1
November 6th, 2016 8:21pm
I think it comes down to knowing yourself and loving yourself. You truly have to cultivate a relationship with you: physically, emotionally, and spiritually. It has to start here.
Anonymous
March 26th, 2017 12:50pm
It is difficult when you first start off living with someone you can't live without and I'm sorry to hear you're going through that. Perhaps do things that you enjoy, find things you like and new hobbies - I'm sorry if I sound cliche but it does help, surrounding yourself with positive friends and meditation may be of help too. I hope things become a little better for you soon. Sending love.
Poinka16
August 9th, 2017 11:58am
Taking each day at a time and allotting a lot of time and space for self discipline. This is an important time for you to set new goals and start afresh.
commandercody209
November 9th, 2017 8:02am
You should look up infinite waters on youtube. He is an amazing man who helped me with this same issue.
Justintime86
November 10th, 2017 6:24am
You take it one day at a time and put you first understand it will be tough but keep positive and you will be ok
CalmSea8
November 10th, 2017 11:26am
1- Trying to join new communities and making new friends who you can talk to would help. 2- Forgive that person and accept that you both have to go your own separate ways. 3- Don't have too much of free time to think about him and make things you love like: sports, hobbies, work, study ...etc.
Anonymous
November 16th, 2017 11:03pm
Well, been there Sometimes i thought i cant even breath without him/her You know what, life goes on!
EmotiveFirefly
February 2nd, 2018 6:16am
It is difficult. Make a start by doing one thing at a time. Spend time with people going through a similar situation or have dealt with a similar situation. Eventually it gets easier.It is possible
Anonymous
May 12th, 2018 4:16am
Just think about that person, if he or she would be alive , they didn't want u to stop so soon. God is with you and the blessings of that person are with you always.
LivieGrace
June 2nd, 2018 12:59am
Start by breathing. I know that starting new takes a lot of work, and it can make up physically hurt. But if you just start by breathing, and realizing that you're a human, then you are capable of starting new, and you are capable of taking the hard memories of the past and turning them into a testimony of how you became a stronger person.
magicallyTouch62
July 19th, 2018 5:40am
I have never personally lost someone that significant in my life, so I can only comment from a space of empathy, however, there is a beauty in seeing the good times of past, and keeping those positive memories in your heart. Even though this person is no longer in your life, seek to focus on gratefulness for the joyful moments. In fact, this grief you feel is indicative of how lovely everything was. Try, and I know it will be so hard, but try to be thankful for that, and know that in a world of 7 billion people, there will be another human that will come along and you will form great memories with them! Look forward to the future, but also feel entitled to grieving for your loss, because that is healthy!
lovelyWords13
July 20th, 2018 12:14am
Keep yourself busy , go to the gym classes or such like that and meet new people once involved in new things you begin to appreciate yourself
faithjackson
July 20th, 2018 12:40pm
by realizing why you don’t need them, and sticking to that. it’s a process, you’re on the right track
Returncontrol2u
August 11th, 2018 1:42am
Pain is part of discovering what strength you have. Discover your own limits by taking action each day. Wake up (VICTORY) get out of bed (VICTORY) go to the bathroom (VICTORY). Each step is one more without them. Each step is proof you can do it in a new way, without the one you lost. Don't be afraid to reward yourself for what was once silly. You will be blind sided with strong emotion, but these events get fewer over time. I miss my brother and you miss your ______. We both have a right to live our lives. So let us do it!
ApothecaryNicholas
January 18th, 2019 5:00pm
Losing a relationship can feel like a mini-death, complete with a grieving process. First, you’re shocked and in denial. You don’t believe it’s over and you hold out hope. Next, you feel hurt and guilty. You should have done things differently. If you did you wouldn’t be in this pain. Then, you feel angry and maybe even start bargaining. It would be different if you gave it a second go. You wouldn’t be so insecure, defensive, or demanding. Then you might feel depressed and lonely as it hits you how much you’ve lost. Eventually, you start accepting what happened and shift your focus from the past to the future. You have to go through the feelings as they come, but you can help yourself get through them faster. For example, if you’re dwelling in guilt, make forgiving yourself a daily practice. Read books on it, meditate about it, or write about it in a journal.
endearingJupiter2158
July 7th, 2019 5:00pm
What you are going through is very stressful, i could only imagine. It is completely normal to feel a bit down but going through that is the hardest part, and it has some good things too. I just want you to know all that has happened to you just made you stronger than ever, you have a iron heart, and you are not weak in any way. I guess loss is just another part of life. All im saying is now you have gone through alot, and it has made you more prepared to the sad parts of life. If you have no one to talk to we are here, to listen. Good luck
lilac331
November 2nd, 2019 11:08am
For all of us, it is unimaginable to start our lives without the ones we love. There are times in life when we can make the choices. There are also times in life when we don’t have any other option which includes starting the life without the ones we love. Time is the best of best medicine for all of us to move on when we are forced to start our lives without the people we can’t live without. Meanwhile, ask yourself why you need the person you can’t live without. What does that person make you feel exactly ? What qualities does that person have to make you not want to live your life without that person?
Alissa01
November 22nd, 2019 1:52am
It's important that you see your worth and remind yourself daily that you most definitely can live without them, it's difficult but not impossible. When you find that person who you think is "the one" for you it gets hard to picture a life without them because you feel a deep connection to them, sometimes it's the fear of loneliness that makes you feel as though there's no joy in life without them. Building your self esteem is the best way to begin moving forward, you can build your self esteem by doing things that you love and focusing on other things that make you happy, new hobbies can also be a healthy distraction from what you're feeling and how often you think about that person. By keeping yourself busy as much as possible in fun ways is the best thing you can do for yourself and to move on, as time goes on you will heal, obtain a new sense of self worth and realize that it's possible to let go of that person and that it's they that lost you, you didn't lose them. :)
ChhotiChhotiBatein
February 9th, 2020 6:05am
Losing someone dear and having to live without them can be very difficult. Take sometime to collect yourself, time is a big healer. The fact that you have come to 7 Cups is a good sign and that you want to move on. It may take sometime but you will definitely do it. Keep all the good memories and positives and use these to steer you forward. It will help you change your outlook towards things and make you look at them in a new light. Take small steps and you will slowly but surely be able to move on.
eleenaagoo
March 4th, 2020 6:04am
If you focus on yourself, you improve with yourself and you also stop focusing on others as much, including that person you thought you couldn't live your life without. Also, through finding specific hobbies or passions(which also ties with focusing on yourself) you can learn to use the means of an escape until it is not an escape anymore. For example, my mother lost her parents, which really hurt her emotionally. However, with her love of painting, she was able to be happy again. With this passion, she was also able to gather different friends that now she can share a life with, instead of just being alone (aside from having my dad and I)
jessicamae98
April 10th, 2020 3:27am
This was a really difficult situation I was in about a year ago when my boyfriend broke up with me out of nowhere. I definitely felt like I couldn't live without him. I felt like I lost my best friend and my life partner and I couldn't imagine myself ever with anyone else. Every situation is different, but some things that worked for me was that I got rid of everything (or put away) everything that reminded him. I deleted his number and blocked him on all social media (not to get him upset, but so I wouldn't be tempted to see what he was up to). I kept myself surround by friends and family that I could lean on and be honest with about how I was feeling. I focused on myself and started running/dancing/kickboxing to get rid of stress. Above all, I was patient with myself. I acknowledged that he was a very important person in my life and that he couldn't be forgotten or replaced. Even a year later, I'm still not 100%, but I've made so much progress from where I was a year ago.
Anonymous
April 17th, 2020 4:10am
First you got to have to accept it. Acceptance that you're going to live your life without him. it is easier said than done, yeah but it is what's need to be done. With acceptance comes moving on. it's a long process, it isn't easy, but it isn't impossible. Write your progress everyday, there will be times you'll want to give up but then remember the efforts you put into it. it is normal to feel sad, to cry, to get angry - get it all out don't keep them inside. You'll get through it. You got to want it for it to happen.