Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

How do I stop blaming myself for someone else's actions?

15 Answers
Last Updated: 09/09/2019 at 2:17am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United Kingdom
Moderated by

Lisa Meighan, BSc Psychology (Honours)


Hello, I am Lisa and I work in a person-centred approach mixed with cognitive behavioural therapy. I believe we all have the potential to be the best we can be.

Top Rated Answers
June 30th, 2015 6:06pm
The key words are 'someone else actions'. Remember that. Next time you find yourself doing so, take a step back and point the finger at the right person, and it isn't you!
January 28th, 2015 4:33pm
I have done this so many times, and still do it to this day. However, if you know that you did not consciously do anything wrong, sometimes what it takes is physically telling yourself that you can not control other people. You can't control their choices, and you can't control their actions and reactions.
January 29th, 2015 11:07pm
you have to learn that everyone makes their own choices and those choices have consequences you need to understand that someones elses life is not your problem you can love that person but that person is an independent person different from you
May 24th, 2015 6:45pm
Start by really analysing the situation. Consider the fact that you can't control how another person thinks, feels or acts. Was there anything that you could have done differently that would result in a different outcome? Most often, the answer is no. Everyone has free will and is responsible for their own doing. The best you can do is support people and listen to them, but their final decision is always their own choice.
March 13th, 2015 6:50am
First, you should determine if you have indirectly caused someone else's actions. If you have not, don't blame yourself because you know it's not your fault. Think positively, fairly, and understand that it wasn't your fault. You shouldn't worry about it unless you can do something about it.
May 14th, 2015 7:05pm
The first step is to stop letting others blame you for the actions of someone else. Once that happens, then you can stop blaming yourself because the thought of someone telling you it's your fault isn't there anymore.
November 14th, 2016 11:15pm
Just know that it isn't your fault. You cannot control what the other person is doing. If you feel as if it's something that you did that drove them to what they were doing, it's normal to feel guilty. You should act civilized and calm about it however, and know that you can't take over what someone is doing.
June 23rd, 2015 8:45pm
Well I have learnt that everyone is responsible for their own actions. If someone chooses to make a bad decision then that is their decision. No one else's. I spoke to the person and explained how i felt and that what they did was wrong. They appologized which made me feel better
August 18th, 2015 7:03pm
By focusing on yourself and whats going on with you and only you. Peoples actions shouldn't influence your own.
July 13th, 2015 3:45pm
Its as simple as remembering that we are all capable of thinking for ourselves and making out own decisions and the fact of the matter is, that someone chose to do the actions. They could have said no. There is always a choice. You can only do so much for a person, or to them, but ultimately the end choice is theirs.
July 13th, 2015 9:19pm
Tell yourself what you clearly know. It's not your fault and it's someone else's actions that caused the problem.
November 24th, 2015 12:27am
Think about how you feel about this. What would it be like to be the other person? Think about others.
December 5th, 2017 6:58am
Understand that you are not the center of everything and that not everything revolves around you. There are many external factors as well responsible for mistakes. Said that, think about about taking steps to avoid them in future.
January 8th, 2018 10:21pm
Be sincere. Most of the people loves to know how the others are feeling about them. If it is a positive emotion, don't doubt, share your good feelings toward somebody could make their day better, could give them a smile, could help her with a struggle. If it is negative, then don't hide it, but don't use your words like bullets: be honest, but be sensitive. The other is also a human, a person with emotions, and you have to be careful without lying, is the best way to resolve a problem, rather than the silence when, behind this, are a lot of troubles that you aren't saying.
September 9th, 2019 2:17am
I feel like the best way to stop blaming yourself for someone else's actions is to know that you did not do those actions. That person acted by themselves in the situation. And that you are not to blame for the outcome of that decision making. I feel like maybe separating yourself from that 1 person could help. And just keep telling yourself I am not responsible for other people's actions the only actions you are responsible for are yours and yours alone. There is no way to control other people's actions. And just tell yourself that you are not responsible for this person and their actions