Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

How do I stop feeling that there is something wrong with me, when they break up with me?

15 Answers
Last Updated: 03/09/2020 at 9:56am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Penny Dahlen, Ed.D., LPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

I am committed to helping you find your passion, heal old wounds, and flow smoother in all aspects of your life path! I use a compassionate listening approach.

Top Rated Answers
July 6th, 2015 8:33am
Remember that when they break up with you, they are not rejecting you. They are rejecting the situation and scenario. Maybe they have too much on their plate, maybe they feel theyre not ready, maybe theyre being pressured by family. There is nothing wrong with you. The universe and your ancestors spent millions of years surviving on this planet so that you could be here. The fact that youre here means that you were meant to be here, and for a good reason.
March 1st, 2016 6:51pm
Be content with yourself first. There are almost 8 billion people in the world and to be honest hardly 1% of them are a potential match. When someone leaves you it doesn't mean there is something wrong with you, it means that something felt like it was wrong on their end and that they no longer felt that either of you are the best for each other. It's like a shoe that is a little tight and you can handle it for a little while, but eventually it leaves blisters and you decide you need to find a different shoe that fits. It doesn't mean that there is anything wrong with the other shoe, it was just meant for someone else's foot.
August 4th, 2015 1:40am
That is a hard one, and people are going to tell you crap like "learn to define your own self-worth," but let's get real, other peoples' opinions of you have a really big impact. That's just the way human brains are made. I recommend fishing for compliments from your friends and family, shamelessly and without mercy. :)
March 1st, 2015 12:20am
You need to stop looking for what's wrong with you and realise all the things that were wrong with them. Most of the time it's not your fault and there is nothing wrong with you, maybe the relationship just wasn't meant to be between the two of you, this doesn't mean that there is something wrong with you
May 20th, 2015 7:39pm
You feel that way because they broke up with you, not the other way around. You're blaming yourself for something that was completely out of your control. The important thing to remember is that even though one door has closed, another has opened as you can now find someone who will appreciate you for who you are.
May 16th, 2015 7:58pm
Darling, there is nothing wrong with you. When love ends, the first thing a person does is blame himself/herself for being inadequate, but that's wrong. The person wasn't YOUR person. That's it. There's nothing wrong with you.
June 23rd, 2015 7:11pm
Based on my personal experience, I go through an internal process of reminding myself that there is nothing wrong with me and the reason the person broke up with me was because of their own problems. I had the ability to understand that he was going through a lot in his life and he wasn't able to juggle all of it and have a girl friend who he could provide enough attention and love for.
August 13th, 2018 3:11pm
With asking them face to face what's the problem and live a positive life and stay away from the negative thought
April 4th, 2015 6:48pm
When people break up with us, we tend to jump straight to conclusions and think "what is wrong with me"? But there could be so many underlying factors that caused the break up to occur. You can't blame yourself because it takes two people to make a relationship work.
February 29th, 2016 11:38pm
You accept that he/she wasn't the right person for you they might have been the right person then but not in the long run they won't be.
August 2nd, 2016 2:58am
Well you should understand the possibility that the type of relationship you shared with the person, might have not been the type of relationship you should have shared. It's sort of like how you treat your friends. You go along with them, but that's because their a friend and not something more. Relationships don't work out sometimes and that could be due to so many other factors,and that's completely okay, even though it feels like it's not, because you did lose someone you shared your ife with, but your life is still yours, and there are a multitude of people that will be lucky to share it with you :) I hope that you'll feel better again, and know that this community is there for you
March 9th, 2020 9:56am
This feeling just don't go away. It takes time. Healing takes time. Sometimes, when you love someone, it becomes hard to see their faults and that's why you blame yourself. As the time passes, you see things clearly and notice that the person isn't as great as you thought they were. The healing process starts.You stop pitying youself. You start going out and start enjoying. You stop missing them. Before the healing process starts, you should assue yourself that nothing is wrong with you and it wasn't your fault no matter that you feel opposite of that and never go back to them.
June 7th, 2016 6:17pm
Not every relationship is meant to be sometimes there are difference the likes and dislikes ..go for the one's that actually show interest in you first
March 14th, 2017 2:44am
Simply look at it differently. Before you met the person, you felt a certain way. It changed once you met the person. Once you lost the one you love, you wonder why sometimes. Usually, people tend to worry about if there was something that the partner didn't like about them and lose self-confidence. Try to accept that you're you and they're them!
February 17th, 2020 7:54am
Breaking up is a process that began somewhen and somewhere else. It has something to do with you, but this doesn't mean it is your fault. The best thing you can do now is not to go out and look for victims. This includes you. Instead, you can embrace your feelings and think of this challenge as a chance to improve yourself. Sometimes we fall down, sometimes we fall apart: this is a precious moment to analyze our little fragments that build our soul. There's nothing inside you that is not deserving pure love: remember this when you feel like it's your fault.