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How do I stop missing my ex?

280 Answers
Last Updated: 03/16/2022 at 5:15pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Jackie Dross, M.S. Community Counseling


I have a passion for working with people from a non-judgmental, strengths based approach to meet their goals for personal growth.

Top Rated Answers
June 24th, 2016 11:44pm
1. I read a good book on the subject, Letting Go - A Twelve Week Personal Action Program to Overcome a Broken Heart." by: Dr. Zev Wanderer and Tracy Cabot, PhD. 2. I focused on me. I joined a gym and actually went. 3. I read books, swam, biked, hiked, and got myself out of the house. 4. Since the place that I lived in was a place we shared together, I moved. 5. I avoided the places that we used to frequent together. 6. I admitted to myself that while it hurt, it was actually for the best. Now that I'm well past the situation, looking back, it WAS for the best but it was hard for me to see it then because I was so emotionally drawn into the situation itself. It's hard to look at something from an objective prospective when you have such a high emotional investment with the person. 7. I came to the firm conclusion that the situation could not have been fixed and no matter how much I thought we made a good team, we didn't in the end. 8. I wrote down the reasons why things did not work out and kept it with me... added to it from time to time as those ideas came to me. Also, I wrote down what I learned from the situation because that is a key part of moving forward instead of dwelling. Lastly, I made a full action plan of how my life was going to be different and followed it. 9. I spent time with friends who had nothing to do with the relationship I just left. 10. I did not try to do this alone because I realized that I needed people around me as a support system to get me through it. I was so very right.
July 8th, 2016 3:23pm
If you've had a great relationship and depending on the kind of person you are, you can't just stop missing your ex. You'll always miss them because you don't stop loving them - you carry them in your heart for the rest of your life. The only thing you can do is to not let it get in between you and your own life by letting yourself heal over time. Time does heal any kind of pain and even if it seems hard right now, it will get easier for you. Maybe it will take months or even years but you have to be patient. Surround yourself with friends, family, or find something you absolutely love doing in order to keep your mind off things and never give up hope that things will get better. Some people move on rather quickly or jump into another relationship but you have to give yourself time to heal, the right way. Eliminate all contact with your ex if you still keep in touch otherwise it will be much harder for you. That goes with stalking them on social media as well. If you do choose to be friends, allow yourself some time to heal and then when you've moved on, you can be friends. Just because their your ex does not mean that you have to completely forget about each other unless they are people who should be truly forgotten.
March 1st, 2018 7:35pm
Take a look in the mirror, look closely, look past how you PYSICALLY look, look at the SOUL standing in front of you. Without you, she / he cannot speak, she / he cannot eat, she / he cannot learn or love or grow. You depend on you. Of corse, it’s lovely to have somebody you feel you can rely on, but from the day you took your first breath, until the day you take your last, the only person who will ever TRULY know you, will be YOU. So be proud of you, look after you, appreciate what you already do for yourself, without him/ her! You bathe you, feed you, lay your own head down to rest. You fight through everyday for YOUR future. A future that maybe, he / she simply isn’t strong enough to be part of. Your mental health is not you, and it does not define you. Similarly, neither does skin colour, hair colour, eye colour or the colour car you drive! Be proud of yourself, there’s no straight answer as to what you SHOULD do, but there’s 3 things you deffinately shouldn’t: You should not REGRET your relationship with him/ her, as you learnt a lot, and meant a lot to eachother, sometimes life just gets in the way and two people aren’t supposed to be more than a mean-time. (But don’t forget, that means Mr Right/ Mrs Right is somewhere, oooooh yaaaa!) You shouldn’t focus on the negatives, and what you’ve “done wrong”. Your mental health is not a mistake, or an accident, do not apologise for being a little broken, and do not blame yourself because somebody else couldn’t appreciate your greatness. YOU SHOULDNT STOP TRYING. EVER!!! Focus on YOU, what you want from life, and the ways you want to love yourself better. Find a hobbie, music or art or something crazy, who knows?! And find a passion for happiness instead of another human being, and one day someone will fall in love with that passion, and accept every single flaw. Stay strong, stay sweet, stay YOU!
June 22nd, 2016 12:53am
Being happy is unnatural after a breakup with a toxic person. They leave you doubtful of yourself and with all the blame for why the relationship failed. It is not easy to get back to your center, but you can start by forcing your mind to focus on new things. Distract yourself by trying a new activity or hobby. This will force you to be brave and outgoing, which are very good emotions for combating grief. Remind yourself never to let them see you break. They do not deserve that.
June 15th, 2016 12:17pm
The worst part of a breakup is letting go - I speak from experience. The way I got over my ex is focusing my attention on other things. For instance, go out and play a sport, read a book, do anything to keep your mind off of your ex. :)
July 22nd, 2016 6:16am
Before you fall asleep, picture himin/her in a nice place, like a pink cloud, picture the person dressed in an outfit that you like, and tell him/her bye. Give the person a big smile and put all your strength on feeling happy... That way you are letting go. Doing this saved my life after a break up
June 20th, 2016 9:43am
Over time. Time will heal all. Its not exactly the best and most efficient way of getting over someone. But time is a healing device. As for now, cry as much as you want and let everything out. Just be thankful you were given the chance to love and be loved..
July 21st, 2016 2:49am
You have to create distance between you and the person. Remove all reminders of them and ask your friends/family not to bring them up. Delete songs that remind you of them, pictures, delete them off social media. Clean them from your life. Then, start focusing on you. If you have a hobby or skill you neglected while you were with them, pick it back up. It will give you your sense of purpose back. Spend time with friends or get in contact with old ones. Keep your loved ones close. But overall, realize that it's totally normal to miss someone you've had a significant relationship with. Suppressing it will only make the feeling last longer. But doing the above steps will make you miss them a little less often. Best of luck!
August 5th, 2016 5:56am
It's called a break up because it's broken. You have to accept that your ex doesn't feel the spark anymore and just doesn't like you like that. Only time can heal a broken heart. Don't jump into another relationship, as that will only make it hurt worse. Listen to good music, do your favorite activity, and enjoy life without a partner until you're ready to start dating again.
February 12th, 2017 10:12am
Learn a new skill, talk to your loved ones. Always strive to improve yourself. The more you miss your ex, the more you will miss your chance to find out something new in your life.
June 15th, 2016 4:40am
The idea is to let go, To accept where you are now and to move forward. Remember that, that person is your ex for a reason.
June 25th, 2016 11:44am
You just have to start concentrating on yourself more, start loving yourself :) make yourself happy, study or work hard! make yourself self independent :)
December 21st, 2017 5:21am
By accepting that your ex will always be a part of you. This is life, this is no Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind where we can pay someone to make us forget any memories of our exes. It’s okay to miss your ex. But it’s important to remember why the relationship ended. For many, that in itself provides some comfort. But don’t pretend they never existed. Remember how you grew from your experiences.
September 2nd, 2016 11:56pm
Keeping yourself busy, find a hobby, meet with friends, read a book, anything to keep you busy. Your missing the ex because what previous took up your time/thoughts is not longer there, something needs to fill the void.
June 23rd, 2016 6:31pm
Keep busy with your hobbies as much as you can, but if you find your thoughts wandering back to your ex, let them. It's natural. Over time, the pain will subside and things will be brighter.
June 26th, 2016 12:25pm
I have recently gone through a tough breakup and I can admit that it is easily one of the hardest things that I have ever faced. But I believe that it is important you realise what happened was not your fault. My recommendation to stop missing your ex is to occupy yourself. Go out and do things that you love to do, go and try new experiences, meet new people. Try and share an emotional connection with someone because that way you know that there is someone out there to help you and that you are not alone.
July 1st, 2016 1:02pm
Keep yourself busy. Whenever your mind goes to those thoughts, take up some activity distract yourself.
July 13th, 2016 8:14pm
Give yourself enough Time. Distract yourself with a new hobby or talk to other friends. Also you may want to stop talking to your ex. If you still want to remain friends at some point, tell this person that you need some distance.
September 28th, 2016 6:25pm
It's going to be a different process for everyone, but I think the basics of it is to always stay positive. Look at what you enjoyed in the relationship, look for what you can take away from it and learn from it, and keep living your life as you did before the break up, Keep involved in your interests and hobbies and see your friends. Friends and family or coming to 7 Cups is always a great way to get your feelings out and just talk to someone. In my experience, it really helps to just talk to someone about what I am feeling.
February 14th, 2017 7:12am
Keep busy! Focus on doing the things you enjoy doing and that keep you occupied. Try new things. It's a temporary distraction but it does work. It helps you to distance yourself and focus on making yourself feel good and recreating yourself and your happiness without your ex. Look forward. :) Hope that helps!
September 9th, 2017 10:45am
Let yourself feel whatever you're feeling right now, when the time is right, you will move on by yourself. In the meantime, give time to yourself. Don't stalk your ex, go out with your friends, go out by yourself. And after a while you'll see that you are no longer missing them. There will be times when you will remember about them, but don't let those feelings haunt you, they're part of your life. Learn to accept these feelings. Give your heart the time it needs to accept all these emotions. You can't forget them in one day. Things take time. So let them. Just love yourself and stay strong
April 7th, 2018 6:19am
i know it’s extremely hard to try to stop missing an ex. it may seem impossible but trust me, it’s not. i’ve gone through it a couple times before and each one hurt more than the last and for both times i thought i’d never kick the empty feeling and the feeling of always missing them. you just have to think your ex is an ex for a reason. although you might’ve loved them at one point or another, good things come to an whether you wanted it or not. if it’s meant to be it will be. but if not you have to let it go because it’s just gonna hold you back from seeing new possibilities of happiness.
June 22nd, 2016 3:26am
Focus on better things in life. Meet new people, create new hobbies. Get involved in activities. It is easier said than done but I know you can do it and I believe in you!
July 1st, 2016 5:58am
Missing your ex is hard for someone. For me I just had to start talking to people. Did things that kept my mind off of my ex. Make sure you do not talk to your ex either because it makes it harder if you do.
July 1st, 2016 11:51am
Learn the way to let go, accepting that he is no longer yours. Admitting there will be another person better than him, waiting for you. Get your mind straight and think of it as a memories and a lesson.
July 3rd, 2016 11:11pm
I wish I had a clear cut answer for that question. It takes time. Things you do or see or even songs on the radio are going to remind you of them. Cherish those memories while trying to search for someone who makes you as happy,if not more than they did.
August 4th, 2016 1:39am
there's no method, really. thinking about ways will only stress you out which will elevate the intensity of your feeling. what i did is, just live with with. and eventually, one day, you can tell yourself that you're okay.
August 28th, 2016 1:34pm
You have to learn that you will be okay without them, and probably even better than before. The experience will teach you to become more independent, and thats an amazing feeling! :)
January 31st, 2018 9:01pm
Breakups are hard, and the healing takes time. With time you will miss your ex less. A part of you may always miss your ex, and that's normal too. Just remember you have a bright future ahead of you. No need to stay in the past!
February 28th, 2018 5:41pm
you have to believe in yourself that you are strong enough to move on. It s going to be a hard phase but you deserve happiness too.