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How do I stop missing my ex?

285 Answers
Last Updated: 06/02/2022 at 7:04pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
Canada
Moderated by

Kajsa Futrell, RTC

Counselor

I specialise in respectfully helping people navigate their way through trauma and relationship issues. The adversities in our life can actually transform us.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
October 6th, 2021 3:21pm
We all know that it is truly hard to forget someone, especially when that special someone used to or still means something to us. So, in order to stop thinking or missing your ex, you should first start to set into your mind that your ex is gone. It's in the past and we can only hold onto their memories but not their physical form anymore. So to do that, we should possess acceptance. Accept and try to take small steps forward. Focus on doing other things or maybe try to learn a new hobby. Focus yourself on your dreams and passion. And by that, little do you know. You've moved on completely and the thought of him/her doesn't want to make you weep on your bathroom floor. :)
Blissfulfran02
October 22nd, 2021 12:23pm
I’m not going to lie to you, you’re going to miss your ex but we have to pull it apart. It’s not your ex as a whole you’re missing but that idea of them you have in your head. For your relationship to have ended something went wrong somewhere. You’re missing the good times and overlooking the bad it’s a natural response. The best thing I can suggest for you is to focus on yourself, what can you do mentally to become a strong, empowered person? Is there any areas of your own personality / behaviour that led to the downfall of the relationship? Nows the time to work on those and get the help you need. You’ve got this.
Anonymous
November 2nd, 2021 5:11am
Spend some time focusing on things that you enjoy to get your mind off of things when you’re down. When you’re feeling okay, reflect on the relationship and it’s conclusion. Take note of things that were good and bad to better understand why the relationship reached its end. Remember that you’re not alone! Reach out to others for support in this difficult time. A good listener can greatly help you feel heard and acknowledged. Many people have gone through breakups and have experience that may help. Talk to a friend or trusted family member for advice. Speak with someone on 7cups when you need someone to listen to how you feel and validate your experience. You will get through this.
ScarletOwlet
November 5th, 2021 1:50pm
There is no hard and fast rule that applies to everybody. Mostly, it just takes time. Some people like to move on to another relationship and some people don't. Some people like to go through their memories and photos and texts and some people just delete them without a second glance. Some people remain friends with their exes and some don't. It really depends on your personal experiences and relationships. Some people get over breakups really easily while other people may hold on to that feeling for the entire rest of their lives. It really is unique for every person.
Anonymous
November 19th, 2021 2:55am
Missing your ex it's the most common and normal things you can do. Because they were part of your life at some point and you share time, moments, memories, and feelings. Don't blame yourself for missing them, try to understand it's the normal reaction of the human brain. It will take a time while you get used to not have their presence with you, but something that can help is to keep your mind busy. If you used to tell a detail about your ex and they're are not there, talk about that detail with other person. Find beauty in your friends. Discover new things in you. Keep yourself focused on what you were meant for and if you don't know your purpose yet... it's a good time to find it
RainbowClouds4282
December 15th, 2021 9:44pm
Try doing something with them once a week, or doing something that they like once a week. Just remember, your thoughts now, are your future. Any choice you make now will reflect on you later in life. To help yourself, you can Not hold your feelings inside, Take up journaling, Stay busy, Go out with friends, and, Focus on self-improvement. Some people simply miss having someone to spend time with. You might just be lonely and this is a natural response to a breakup as well. ... If these are some of the first things you think of when thinking of your breakup, then you may be missing companionship as opposed to your ex specifically.
peachicus
December 24th, 2021 1:08pm
This a really tough to do I pined over my Ex for almost a year and it wasn't healthy but a few things I learnt might help. Don't reach out to them, it's painful for the both of you Don't look at their social media and block them, not out of hate but for your own protection. Find a passion, hobby or work on yourself, for example take up a course, find a new game or volunteer. Prioritise your wellbeing and know that you're worthy, beautiful and deserving of love. You just haven't met that person who sees your value. Good luck friend
Anonymous
January 6th, 2022 6:01am
it is a progress that will be difficult, but what is to be yours will be, you have to focus on yourself and become a better person to keep yourself busy, then you will see that time passes and in the meantime new people have appeared in your life, you have to stay calm, confident, venturing with friends or family can be good for you... don't be shy about asking for professional help, we are here for you. but above all you have to be distracted by keeping your head occupied... the rest turns by surprise
gentleSun78
March 16th, 2022 5:04pm
Firstly, you can consider asking self why would you miss your ex? What was reason for breakup? If there was a legit reason for breakup (violence, abuse), then try to think about this legit reason for breakup whenever you start to miss your ex. If there was no legit reason for breakup but just your wish to get someone else, can you try to reconciliate with them and to be more careful in future as many times getting into another relationship just because this new person is so "sweet" can give us a lot of disappointments and regrets later in your life. Try not to experiment and try to be with the person you have already. If you miss your ex because they died, let's give yourself time to mourn. Mourning is tough and lenghty process.
nuuuris
March 16th, 2022 5:15pm
I think it is not something you can really control. Missing someone is normal, a boyfriend, a girlfriend, a friend, someone who has passed away... at the end of the day we are all connected and other people truly influence us. If you have been talking to someone for weeks, months, years... how aren't you going to miss them now that you don't talk anymore? It's completely normal and honestly I think that there's nothing to do, someday you will stop missing them, or missing them less because other events will happen in your life, you will meet new people, you will fall in love again, and it is ok, and you will miss them some days, some hours, in some moments of your life, but it's normal, there are phases we all have to go through during a break up and missing someone is one of the toughest, but it is necessary to learn more about yourself and to go through it. I hope it gets better soon, lots of love
Anonymous
April 16th, 2022 5:07am
Man oh man. It hurts, doesn’t it? That’s an understatement. The cliché answers on here: Give it time Find distractions, spend time with family, friends, people that love you Do what you’ve always wanted to do that you never got to do before Get out more, mingle, don’t shut yourself out Believe it or not—- you don’t wanna hear these things at first. All you want to do is see your ‘ex’ and spend time with them. But these clichés help—- after some time. They didn’t help me right away. I didn’t wanna spend time with my friends. My family. I didn’t wanna go out with people; I didn’t wanna do anything with anyone. All I wanted to do was SEE ‘him’. Fix our situation. Pretend that things were the same, and fix this ‘thing’ we were going thru-whatever you wanted to call it— and get back to life as it was. But honestly babe… You can’t dwell. I know it hurts. It’s gonna hurt whether we want it to hurt or not. You miss them so much that you’d literally do anything to be able to talk to them again, to be with them, to go back to how things used to be. Dwelling on the past is only going to hurt you more, and you’ll be stuck. By stuck, I mean you’ll feel like you’re in this place where you can’t move forward (or rather, you don’t wanna move forward), and all you’re doing is watching life go on right under your little nose while you’re dwelling on him and the situation. Discovering Quora has helped me immensely. Finding people that are going through what you have gone thru/are going thru gave me comfort. Someone once told me this when I was feeling really down, like I wanted to curl up and die: “This person left you because they don’t love you anymore. Now how does that make you feel? You want so desperately to be with this person when they have no desire whatsoever to be with you. Doesn’t that make you feel some type of way? Why on earth do you want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with you at all? Try and be strong; don’t ever let them know you’re suffering because they’re not here. At some point, they’ll get curious and they’ll contact you. And if they don’t? Well then, they never really loved you in the first place. But don’t devalue yourself. You’re worth so much more than that…” Took me awhile to grasp that, but it’s got meaning to it, you know? Some days, I still feel myself getting baffled at the thought of: We want to talk to them SO much; all we wish we could do is just talk to them, and they don’t feel a bit of yearning to talk to us. I miss my ‘who I thought to be my person’ so very much still, sometimes I’ll sit on my bed and just cry out of nowhere. Boy, do I miss him, guys. After we split, I’ve never heard from him again (a little over a year for me). I’ve tried to get his attention, but nothing. Try and be strong. You are worth so much more than someone who is capable of leaving you, even when they said they loved you. That isn’t love. It’s hard, but just know that you’re worth more than what you’re putting yourself through. Through this whole life-changing process (cuz that’s what it is), I’ve met some really awesome, totally out of this world people and made new friends, and that wouldn’t have happened if none of this never happened to me. I’ve changed as a person for the better, I’ve made some new self-discoveries about myself and the world, i’ve taken so many lessons away from this. And I’ve become so much stronger than I ever thought possible. You don’t really have a choice, you know? You learn to become strong on your own, because that’s literally the only option for you. I’m always gonna miss him, that’s a fact. But I can’t ever ever ever be a friend to him, because I don’t see him like that, I never will. If I can’t have him as more, then I don’t want him as a friend. Some people you can become friends with, this person I cannot and will not. Anyone who needs to talk, I’m not opposed. Stay strong!
Anonymous
April 16th, 2022 7:15pm
When ending a relationship one of the harder things to get through is the "missing" phase. I think a good way to get past this is to keep in touch with what was real, it is easy to build up an image with all the good things about this person, but also remembering the bad parts is important to get over someone. I also think a good way to get over someone is to remove them from your life completely (if possible). its so easy to go look at someones social media, photos, old texts, etc. but this is only damaging to yourself and sometimes removing people from your daily feed is self-care.
UnapologeticDG
April 29th, 2022 3:48pm
By allowing yourself time to grieve and time to reflect on the good and bad. Then giving yourself permission to move forward by focusing on the things that matter to you, school, work, friends and family for example. Maybe start a new project or learn something you been putting off. After an end of a relationship it may be difficult at first to get the motivation to do something but once you allow youself the time to feel, you open yourself up to new experiences and a new way of looking at things. Remember, relationship are not the end all, be all to your existance, they are apart of the experience as a whole. You matter as a person, outside the relationship spectrum. Give yourself permission to remember, you are whole person with needs and wants. Respect yourself by living as fully as you can and feeling your feelings.
Anonymous
May 19th, 2022 2:21pm
The first step lies in accepting the fact that you are missing your ex. And this missing is a reminder of the moments you have shared together. and it is perfectly okay to remember and recollect the same. It is not possible for any of us to forget someone especially someone we had loved so much. So it takes time to fade the memories of the same person. also missing someone is okay as long as this missing is not causing you any emotional damage or putting you in a position which will not yield any positive results. There is no full stop in missing someone however memories of the same person will eventually be less. Eliminating certain things from your life which will remind you of the same person can be done. Once you start to engage in your life and with other people, you will move on and then be left with no time to think of the same person. if the break up had been positively managed by both, it is better to have a healthy relationship with you ex too.
UrsaMajorintheBronx1642
June 2nd, 2022 7:04pm
Breaking up with someone is always hard, give yourself some love and time. You may always have feelings for your ex but this does not make you a bad person or a foolish person. You are only human, if you want to have more social interactions, you can spend time with family and friends. It may sound silly but spending time with people who remind you that they love you, that you're important to them, and that you matter to them can be enjoyable and remind you that you don't need a romantic relationship to feel happy and complete. If you're more solitary and reserved, doing activities like drawing, writing, etc. can really help ground you and remind you of who you are outside of your romantic relationships.