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How do I stop missing my ex?

285 Answers
Last Updated: 06/02/2022 at 7:04pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
Canada
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Kajsa Futrell, RTC

Counselor

I specialise in respectfully helping people navigate their way through trauma and relationship issues. The adversities in our life can actually transform us.

Top Rated Answers
fantasticHorizon8377
March 26th, 2020 5:05pm
Missing an ex takes time and mindfulness. Taking time to realize that your not the only one going through this will help you to not feel alone. Trying new things and reaching out to others going through the same thing can open opportunities that you may not have realized before. And always stay in contact with loved ones (family and friends alike) to remind you that you are loved and important. If you dont feel you have people to reach out to, there are plenty of people in the world willing to listen and help. This world isn't dark and it's full of love. Please go out there and find that love.
empathicAlly17
March 25th, 2020 4:05am
I would say what has worked for me is allowing myself to grieve the loss of the relationship as much as I need to for as long as I need to. Only once I've been able to truly sit with my own sadness and grief have I been able to pull myself out of the darkness and begin moving on. Sometimes it takes a lot more time than I want it to, but in the end my brain and body know what they need. At the same time, there are certain days/times when we can't be a giant ball of snot and tears, so for those days I try to distract myself with something uplifting or with self-care and remind myself "we can come back to feeling sad and grieving this loss later, when the time is right." I hope this helps!
Anonymous
March 19th, 2020 2:38am
Remind yourself of why the relationship had to come to an end. Surround yourself with a positive group of friends and a genius support team. Your support team can be the listeners here at 7 cups or you could have your own circle at school or maybe at work. Remind yourself that emotions won’t go away overnight. If you’ve loved a person, you’re not going to just stop feeling that same love for them instantly. Give it time. Distance yourself from them. Distance communication with them, distance their social media accounts so you’re not constantly checking in. Find a hobby to put that same energy into.
Lengo
January 8th, 2020 4:18am
Unfortunately, there is no button that you can push it. You need to work with yourself. You need to see clear of what you want, of what you need, of what you deserve. Focus on you and love yourself. Spend your time with things that you like to do. There are a lot of things which can do alone or with your friends. Find a reason to wake up in the mornings and do what you really enjoy to do. I know that at first, it may be difficult and you have to push yourself, but after a few days, you start to use it and you really enjoy it. Nothing stays forever. Create new positive thoughts and you will see that you will not have space for something negative in your life.
Evag123
January 2nd, 2020 6:33am
it is important to know that moving on is a part of life. instead of missing your ex, try to focus on things that distract you in order to get your mind off of them. try doing things that you love, try attempting new hobbies and discovering new things about yourself. spend more time with your friends and family to help you feel less lonely. it’s always important to surround yourself with people who make you smile. they can help you through tough times and you will make it through this time. time heals all wounds. it will get better.
WinterJackalope
December 18th, 2019 2:32pm
Ask yourself what you truly find captivating about your ex. Then realize that that captivation comes more from *you* than from them. Whatever it is that you especially notice about this person – the combination or looks, traits, aspirations, etc. – has crystalized an inspiration inside of *you* that you get to keep, regardless of whether this person comes or goes. As an exercise, I occasionally line up in my mind all the people I've ever had crushes on, like one enormous family photo of crushes. This tends to drive home for me that my attachment isn't so much to this person or that person, but to something else I instinctively recognize in all of them, and whose blueprint I can possess even with nobody present. The bottom line is: when I focus on the happiness or inspiration itself brought out in me by people, I don't feel as strong a need to reconnect to one particular person to regain those feelings.
amayya
December 5th, 2019 11:45am
hhmm, it's hard not to missing our ex, but maybe you can delete all the pictures that you have taken with your ex. everything about your ex should be erase from your life. in that way it will be easier to not missing your ex anymore. or you also can distract your self by doing something new. and stop doing activities you did before with your ex. also... delete all the chats, the messages, social media... everything that make you connect with your ex. well I mean it work on me. I hope it can work on you too. aahh also delete your ex contact phone number. email. ID and everything that you have still about your ex. Good luck
suttacoustic
November 6th, 2019 5:15pm
Focus on yourself is the healthiest thing you can do. Take classes, go to the gym, pick up a new instrument! If it is a particularly rough breakup then take your time slowly because it is okay to feel down sometimes. Set yourself some time (say a week) to gather your thoughts and reflect. Once you feel better start doing new activity to keep all the bitter past behind and hopefully you'll see improvements in your mood. Time will heal everything and filling your time with positive vibes and energy helps a lot. At least that's how I got over my breakups.
AprylFools
September 20th, 2019 10:14pm
Missing an ex is a human response to loneliness. While I cannot give you an accurate answer based on just this question alone, I can tell you that what you feel is normal. Typically, when you want to get over an ex, then you need to try your utmost best to avoid doing things and being around people that enforce a negative emotion. Try to do something new, like some hobbies that you've always wanted to try but never had a chance to, make more friends and learn a little more about yourself. It is also important to remember that this doesn't come instantly, it will take some time so you need to have patience.
Anonymous
May 29th, 2019 2:03pm
In my experience the best thing is focusing on yourself! It's corny and everybody says it, but filling your life with all of the things that make you YOU - hobbies, friends, little adventures, mastering a new skill - can give you (a) real purpose, and (b) distractions while you find ways to live without your ex. Romantic relationships can have profound impacts on us but I've always found that, looking back on how I moved on from an ex, it was the people and things I surrounded myself with that helped. And NOT texting or talking to them or finding excuses to run into them, as hard as that can be.
AlaineG
May 15th, 2019 11:26am
It can be difficult to get over an ex, and we may find ourselves wanting to dwell in the ups and downs of our relationship, which causes us to feel even more sad. When I go through a breakup, I make sure to focus on myself and what I did before I knew my ex. What did I enjoy doing by myself, or with friends, or family? I get back into my hobbies and try to keep myself busy to remind myself that I was also happy before I knew my ex, and I can be happy without them, too.
Anonymous
May 3rd, 2019 8:51am
It's natural to miss the connections we makes with others, especially in close relationships. Whilst it's impossible to erase memories, look back on the best bits of your relationship with fondness, but don't live in the past; accept that life moves on and try and focus on the present. The pain of separation is raw at the beginning but does ease over time. Think about what you've learnt from your ex, mistakes you might have made, qualities in them that made a difference, and how you can apply these to your next relationship. It's an exciting new time; where is your journey going to take you next?
Anonymous
April 25th, 2019 11:02am
Always surround yourself with friends and family; aim to distract yourself. Remember, there was a time you were happy before you met him or her and you can achieve that same level of happiness too. Things always happen for a reason. If this relationship did not work out, it did not for a reason. Learn from your mistakes of what you did wrong in this relationship and how you can be prepared for the next one. If he or she is not the one, someone out there will be the one for you. Just because you haven’t met the one, does not mean you won’t.
SirNobilis
April 21st, 2019 8:08pm
Stay busy, learn a new hobby, exercise, spend time with family and friends. Keep your mind busy, express self love and compassion. The emptiness you feel inside is your soul calling to you to love yourself! Thus loving yourself and accepting you are ok without the need to have validation from anyone else will help immensely. It is ok to miss someone but relationships either with Ex's or a current partner need to be from a place of giving freely. All that you gave was given without expectation and all that you will give in the future comes from this same place.
browneyedbrontide
March 22nd, 2019 3:58am
In the past, the way that I've been able to get over things that I'm finding are really difficult to get past, I try to look forward to things that I know are going to heal up my soul. Like the fuzzy dog I'm going to have when I'm older and the apartment I'm going to buy all on my own. The places I'm going to visit, the amazing people I'm going to meet. The foods I'm going to try and the nights I'll laugh so hard I'll cry. Perspective, I think, has helped me get over things and people.
SirMaDDaM
July 7th, 2018 1:19pm
You start valuing yourself more, you value what you have, and you are focusing on your social life even more. A healthy self-generated fake narcism might help aswell, until you feel entirely free.
bubblySunrise55
August 15th, 2018 10:57am
These things take time, it's not easy. What you need to remember is youre better than them and you deserve better. Do things that make you happy, distract yourself. Hang out with family and friends. Let them know what theyre missing out on
AngieWillListen
August 12th, 2018 3:08pm
You don’t. It will happen regardless, especially if the breakup was recent. Missing someone is part of the healing process, but if you truly do not wish to miss that person, then allow yourself to be distracted with positive activities.
Anonymous
August 3rd, 2018 2:17am
If you want to stop missing your ex, put some distance between you two. Try to get rid of anything that reminds you of your ex. If you follow your ex on social media, you can unfriend or unfollow your ex so you will not get reminded of your ex and you will not have to see pictures of your ex being with someone else. Occupy your mind with other things asides thinking about your ex. Breakups are very hard and it can take some time to get over your ex. Remember that time heals all wounds.
generousRabbit93
July 31st, 2018 5:30am
remove all contact, take time to foccus on yourself and just yourself, dont jump into a relationship too quick
CalmWhisper22
July 22nd, 2018 8:35pm
A good relationship book is called 5 Love Languages. Not sure if you have a coping skills tool box created but it might be something to consider. I also try to do at least 3 pleasant activities a week.
Anonymous
July 18th, 2018 11:05am
Occupy yourself with things that make you happy, for example hang out with your friends, play your favorite sport, read a book or watch a good movie. You can even take this opportunity to try new things.
Iamhereandicare
July 18th, 2018 5:12am
Start focusing on other things. Get out meet new people. Start new things. Do not jump in to another relationship. Focus on you. Do things you always wanted to do. Don't go places you two hung out together.
SpringDay03
June 23rd, 2018 9:08am
Do something that you like to do. Your hobby. If that is not helping, talk to your bestfriends or family.
CClockworkAngel
June 7th, 2018 7:59pm
You don't. You can't make yourself stop missing a person, you just have to make yourself move on. It's all a matter of distracting yourself.
Anonymous
June 13th, 2018 7:44am
there is no reason to stop missing your ex so soon. and if you do want to stop missing your ex then the likely of it would be to avoid things that remind you of your ex or simply do a activity that you know will get your mind off of your Ex. take time to admit those feelings that you miss him and soon enough you'll know that your Ex is not as much missed since you moved on.
cherishedName85
June 13th, 2018 9:45pm
There are lots of ways in which you can stop missing an ex. Firstly it is about working upon yourself being comfortable in your own skin and enjoying time on your own and giving yourself goals to work towards. Also social media. To some extent seeing photos or reminders of a person you are missing does not help with the progression to being okay and being able to stop missing them. Everyone handles things differently but self care is the first step and maintaining your dignity when doing so. Time heals everything.
Sunniesun
August 16th, 2018 1:59pm
I would focus on concentrating my energy on something else. Catch up with friends, pick up a new hobby or go to that movie you always wanted to see. Realise that there was a life before him and there will be a life after him. I would also try to not keep reminders of the relationship around, as these can be triggering and distracting. Store them away in a box and storage it somewhere where it isn’t easily accessible. This will prevent your mind from preventing you from moving forward. If any further help is needed, do not hesitate to chat to us!
Nafey
June 27th, 2018 12:26pm
Delete everything that reminds you of them, pictures, messages, videos and even their number.. Realise that they have moved on and that you need to move on as well. And remember, plenty of Fish in the Sea.
TomWilson
July 1st, 2018 9:38am
Breakups are really hard. However, the simple answer is time. After time it willd be good. Also, get out and try new things! Start going to the gym or something, anything to distract your mind will be great.