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How do I stop myself from thinking of my ex-significant other when I see things that remind me of them?

16 Answers
Last Updated: 07/13/2020 at 7:51am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Stacey Kiger, LPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

My belief is that therapy is not about giving advice, but joining you on your journey

Top Rated Answers
July 7th, 2015 6:37pm
There's no real way, but just because you miss someone doesn't mean you should go back, sometimes you have to keep missing them until you wake up one day and realize that you don't miss them anymore
March 21st, 2015 6:32pm
The truth is no matter how over your ex you are, if you see something that reminds you of them, you will think of them. And that is okay. If you aren't over them and it bothers you, just remember what was, is now over and in this new chapter of your life, to refocus on yourself and your happiness.
November 13th, 2017 6:03pm
Moving on from a past relationship is always difficult. That person was a huge part of your life for however long it may have been, and adjusting to life without them in the picture isn't going to happen over night. My suggestion is take those things that remind you of your ex and replace them with new memories. Branch out, get to know yourself again, and make new memories without them in the picture. This is easier said than done, I know. And it will take time, no doubt. But you'll see that as you work on reconnecting with your self, all the constant reminders of your ex will fade. Maybe they won't be gone completely, but they will becoming lessons, and stories instead of constant reminders filled with dread.
May 28th, 2018 11:04pm
I don't deny the pain/memories/thoughts, I accept them and validate my emotions. I then fill myself and those painful memories or thoughts with self love and the love of those who care about me. With time, with acceptance the things that remind, the songs, ect. stop hurting because I chose to face them.
May 16th, 2015 1:14am
This is always tough but you can get past it! Instead of letting things remind you of your ex, relate them to something different! Think about what you're doing at that moment.
May 17th, 2015 4:44pm
Keep it away or throw it if possible. And find another way of distractingg your mind by doing something that you love
December 29th, 2015 8:29am
It is completely natural to be reminded of your ex . And it might not be such a bad thing. Remember the lessons you learned and happy memories. If forgetting is what you want to do, then keeping busy is the best solution. Brush off unhappy thoughts. Just will yourself to redirect your thoughts. Tell yourself "Im trying not to think of a pink elephant".
May 17th, 2015 8:47am
Actually, you won't be able to help yourself from thinking about your ex-significant other when you see things that remind you them. I believe this is the reason why some sites advise you to return gifts given to you by them or just merely throw them out. If you want to stop yourself from thinking about your past loves, you must simply take all the things that reminds them of you away. Simple but complicated, yes.
January 2nd, 2016 6:25am
It's difficult and the more you think of them it just gets worst for you..It happens and when such pop in to you and you start thinking about your ex and significant other ,just know this what ever it is our it will be that is just pure painful for you and if you thinking thn that also mean your not over your ex.. Learn to alter your thoughts keep it simple always understand end of the day "it's just an illusion and don't let something unreal hold you from living beautiful life" and also when they have moved on its better if you do the same ...take care and Alwaysbelieve
September 19th, 2016 2:53am
Seeing things that remind you of your ex is natural. If you can, try relating what you're seeing to something different. Maybe you come across the DVD that you two used to love to watch together. You can remind yourself that you loved watching that movie by yourself too, or when you were a kid. Or try to occupy your mind with something else, when you're reminded.
April 21st, 2020 5:34pm
Go out and do things that make you happy. Listen to music that makes you want to dance, and go for drives, and do things that make you happy. Spend more time with friends and family and create memories that make you happy. Try not to go on your phone too much, blocking and deleting pictures has helped and is a good way to not think about them. Understanding that you are worth it, and smart and capable is important too. Remember that you are not alone in this, and I am here to listen and help how I can!
July 13th, 2020 7:51am
What are the circumstances of separation? Was it a breakup? Then you just have to give it some time. You will not stop thinking about them until you have moved past them as a whole. You can speed up this process by venting and talking to people, spending more time with other people in your social life, maybe even going on quick dates (though I would really caution against investing in a new relationship if you're still thinking about your ex). Are you mourning? Then the answer is that the grief will never truly go away. And that is a very painful healing process; grief is like a scar, something that will never truly pass with time, but just something that one day won't leave you doubled over in pain. I wish you luck on your journey. Time heals all wounds.
February 18th, 2015 1:24am
We can't erase things from our memory. It will make you think of them and it might hurt but with time it will get better. Right now it might give you pain when you see your triggers. In a month or so it might just bring back happy memories that you look over. Only time can make it better
July 14th, 2015 11:31pm
Surround yourself w/ people who care about you, i.e. friends & family so that they can distract u from thinking about the past! :)
December 28th, 2015 4:41pm
It's difficult and will remain so for a while. The only thing that can help bring you out of it is to occupy yourself. It's the very last thing you feel like doing but the one thing guaranteed to move you through it.
December 4th, 2017 4:36am
A person needs to move on from the past and leave everything behind that reminds them of the past and do something that will turn their attention away from it.