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How do I stop thinking about him?

27 Answers
Last Updated: 05/26/2020 at 12:12am
1 Tip to Feel Better
Moderated by

Theresa Gulliver, Registered Clinical Counsellor


Problems cannot be solved using the same level of thinking that created them. We must try something different. Gently, we turn your challenges into opportunities for healing.

Top Rated Answers
April 29th, 2015 3:25am
You can't stop thinking about him, he's going to be present in your thoughts because you're not over him yet. The only thing that will help you get over him is time. I got into a car that smelled like my ex-boyfriend's car today and I almost started crying-- I felt pathetic but then I realized how beautiful it was that something so simple and dumb could make me feel something so real. It's best not to forget what you had, but let yourself focus on other, more important things as he fades into the irrelevant. It's ok to be reminded of him from time to time and it's equally normal to think of him even when you don't want to. Some things demand to be thought of and we don't have much say as to whether or not we'll think of certain people.
January 25th, 2015 2:48am
You may find that it helps to busy yourself with other tasks. If you're a student, maybe that means immersing yourself in a textbook, or making a study guide. Maybe it means finding a hobby to help absorb your time with, like reading, drawing, writing. For me, it's those moments when I'm not doing anything that allow my thoughts to run rampant, but it's important to remember that time heals all wounds. In time, you -will- forget about it; not permanently, but at least in a way that doesn't cause you pain anymore. I wish you the absolute best-- stay strong!
April 19th, 2015 7:33am
You can stop thinking about him by realizing that only you matter and nobody else. By realizing that nobody is worth wasting your time over. By knowing that you can't compromise on your peace of mind, dreams and life for some human.
October 26th, 2015 8:49pm
You don't. It just fades with time. The thoughts hurt less and less, and become fewer and farther between.
March 14th, 2015 3:19pm
Go out more often, socialise and be around positive people. Have entertaining things to do, focus on your life goals.
April 24th, 2015 10:55pm
Keeping you mind occupied, go out and run, do exercise, paint, watch dumb cartoons, cook a new recipe, chat with new people, and only go to sleep when you feel like you are tired, so when you're lying on your bed you don't have to think of him. :)
February 23rd, 2016 11:21pm
Your mind has a series of patterns. It is natural that there are many things that will naturally cause your brain to make the connections to a particular person or thing as well as a tendency to repeat the pattern (The more you think of something the more your brain is programmed to think of it) Try retraining your brain. Next time you think of something that makes you think of "him" think of something else instead. For instance if you think of "him" whenever you think of cars, think of cars and than direct your brain to the thought of driving, or tires, or road trips. This will speed the process but even without doing this eventually your brain will form new patterns on it's own and you won't even notice that you no longer think of "him."
July 5th, 2016 3:22am
Ya know, I cant say that you will. You just have to keep going, no matter how hard it hurts and I will hurt for a while.What I can say is comparing him to every guy you meet wont help, that'll only make it harder to move on. Before you go on a date, always have a "he could be the one" mindset. Your next date could be everything your last couldn't be.
January 26th, 2015 3:29am
Diverting your mind from that person ,may be it is not such easy but you can. Meditation makee our soul in neutral so that you can self manage our mind
August 3rd, 2015 3:12pm
You may not be able to do that right away. If you can, congratulations and I am really happy for you! But if you can't, you can begin my deciding HOW to think about him.
August 11th, 2015 11:35pm
The only way too stop thinking about him is too try to erase him from your life. Throw away whatever he gave you or rip it up and erase his number and pictures.
August 18th, 2015 1:36am
Do something you love or something you've always wanted to do.. stay focused on this goal, keep your mind busy.
February 15th, 2016 8:09pm
You can try to surround yourself with positive people who can help take your mind off of him. Do stuff to take your mind off.
November 28th, 2017 11:26pm
Doing the things you used to love doing before loving/liking him. Keeping yourself busy with friends, meeting new people, hobbies, work, etc.
January 29th, 2018 6:19pm
Our thought and feelings are connected. Sometimes when we have unresolved feelings about something that we try to ignore, our mind takes over double time and this can cause anxiety. Talking to someone about your feelings, and giving yourself permission to feel your emotions, will eventually allow you to move through them.
May 1st, 2015 9:39pm
Occupy yourself with things that make you happy. For instance a hobby or a sport. Surround yourself with close friends and family to spend your free time with.
May 12th, 2015 3:24pm
Well first if you feel that the break up is hurting you a lot then , you let it all out by just crying. It will help you to let out all the painful emotions. Star focusing on other things like different kinds of entertainment like watching movies , playing games , friends and holiday with family. Make other things your priorities and I am sure you will start finding beauty in your life.
May 30th, 2015 9:03pm
Completely forgetting about someone can be difficult- in fact it may never happen. But when you find yourself thinking about him, just try to distract yourself by thinking about other things that make you happy. Over time, you'll think about him less and less.
October 27th, 2015 3:36pm
first of all unite with your loved ones, try ignoring everything reminds him i know its hard but try your best, if you have hobbies, try to do them and most of all remember that you deserve better.
November 2nd, 2015 7:11pm
What seems to work for a lot of people is to keep your mind distracted. Keep busy with work, school, friends and activities that will remind you to love yourself again.
January 19th, 2016 3:01pm
Try to focus on your hobbies and on your friends, try to distract yourself. Sometimes, going out with friends it's the best way of stop thinking
September 20th, 2016 2:51am
Let yourself think about him. Suppressing feelings can bring them back stronger, however if you're uncomfortable with this, try finding someone new to focus your attention on.
September 27th, 2016 10:32pm
This is going to sound very harsh. Delete his contact, delete him from social media, avoid seeing him as much as possible, and get rid of all the reminders that you can get rid of. Even if only for a few weeks, it'll make him less significant in your daily life. Also, Maybe focusing on other relationships and friendships might help! During this time surround yourself with other people and try to be as less alone as possible. Also focus on developing yourself. You want to learn the guitar? Get back on track with sports? Go do it! :)
October 11th, 2016 9:45am
I try to busy myself to keep him out of my mind. Tv, reading, writing, or physical exertion that requires all of your attention on him
October 25th, 2016 8:00am
Delete everything that reminds you of him & keep busy! Surround yourself with the other people in your life that you love and think positively about yourself.
February 11th, 2019 3:36am
There are many ways to take your mind off of a previous relationship. The most important thing in this situation though, is self-care. You could take a walk outside, read a book, journal, talk and hang out with some friends, or do anything in general that makes you happy. He'll always be there, in the back of your head, but you must persevere and continue on. Preoccupy yourself and be sure to constantly remind yourself of your relevance. You're better now, so let it stay that way. Always keep yourself in your best interests.
May 26th, 2020 12:12am
I think the best way to allow yourself to stop thinking about 'him' is by finding new hobbies to do or bouncing back into some old hobbies that you might have put off for a while! Take some time to take care of yourself and give yourself time to not think about him. Make sure to not linger on past conversations/pictures or anything else that reminds you of this person. This definitely may not be an easy task to accomplish but with time you will come to see that you have so many things in your life to be happy about and think about that you won't have time to think about him! Stay strong!