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How do I stop thinking about the person that I spent over half my life with?

20 Answers
Last Updated: 11/09/2020 at 9:35am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United Kingdom
Moderated by

Tara Davis, Doctorate in Counselling Psychology

Psychologist

I have worked successfully with a wide range of difficulties. Nothing is more important than developing a warm, compassionate relationship with someone you can trust

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
September 7th, 2015 6:13pm
I can't think of a way to stop thinking about someone all of a sudden, it's something that will take time.. For a start keep yourself busy, if memories pops up in your mind try to think of the second most important thing in your life, sleeping works too...
cristiana33
October 4th, 2015 4:45pm
Why do you need to stop thinking about them? Changing how you remember them might be a better way of moving on with your life. It's hard to leave behind someone with whom you spent so much of your life with, but sometimes it's for the best. It's not so much about not thinking about them tough, but about leaving space for something better in your life.
Anonymous
November 9th, 2020 9:35am
It can be hard to stop thinking about a person when you have spent so long with them. It almost feels like they have become a part of you, and you can feel empty without them. But we have to remember that we are our own people, with our own personalities and interests. Our self worth does not come from the people around us, but from having confidence in our own actions. Realising that we can exist as people without the others that have been such a big part of our lives is the first step towards being able to move forward and not be hung up over others.
IrishListener
May 20th, 2015 12:55pm
There is no doubt about it that this it will be really hard but you must have the belief that it is possible to get over this person and to move on with your life. I would recommend spending time with good friends who will be empathetic to your situation. I also recommend going out and doing things that you enjoy. You should set short-term goals and rewards for yourself. An example of a short-term goal would be: Make one new friend this month or meet 3 new people this month. All of these things combined will help you in your journey. You will probably never forget the person you have spent a lot of time with and that is ok. You must accept the fact that it is ok to think about this person from time to time. After all, you did spend a good portion of your life with this person. However, you can have a great future without this person in your life.
aBunnysDream
August 18th, 2015 5:47am
Keep yourself occupied, Build closer relationships with people around you, and give yourself time to get over that person. Theres no rush.
ChattyCat
March 5th, 2015 2:58am
Keep yourself busy & give it time. You'll never truly forget them, but it helps to distract yourself
Anonymous
September 14th, 2015 8:06am
Well i could suggest a thousand things on how to stop thinking about that person but the truth is you can't. It's just not possible. Rather than trying to stop thinking about that person, try to divert your attention by indulging in various activities. If it hasn't been too long since you guys broke up, talk to someone, go out, watch movies (Please not the romantic ones), meet new people. So instead of forgetting them focus on minimizing their thoughts. There can be a range of activities which you might have liked but never had the time to make them happen, so go out and get those things done.
Shannon1016789
March 24th, 2020 11:42pm
One day you will wake up and no longer see them in your head, you won't see things and get said it will feel more normal like oh that was my life once. You'll never stop but eventually, you won't think of them in the same way. Everyone grows and changes just let that process do its job. Some times I think we expect to just get over things but relationships ending are just like losing someone in death. You are mourning the life you had with that person in it. Not to say that an ending of a long term relationship equates to losing your grandmother but the grief is the same and you process the same it just the amount of time it takes to move on is different. Hopefully, this helps and makes sense.
Anonymous
July 24th, 2018 7:32pm
I'm not going to lie, it's very hard to forget or at least stop thinking about the person with whom you spent a long period of time. The very first step you need to do, is to keep yourself busy, with friends, activities, etc... Even traveling can be good because it's important to change your environment more often at that time. Then try to work on yourself more to feel more independant so that the feeling of needing him / her will be less and less.
cheerfulSoul31
July 3rd, 2018 12:29am
make peace with past, and try to look into the present of you.start thinking about the person that is you with whom you have spend the rest part of that half life
HeartofaPhoenix
December 27th, 2016 3:07am
That is a very hard place to be in, one that I was in a few years ago. What helped me the most was remembering that the other person does not dictate who I am today. It was a long road, but by taking it one day at a time and focusing on what I needed to do to get through the day, I didn't have the time or the energy to dwell on the person that was no longer a part of my life. Are there days where that person still creeps into my thoughts? Yes, but they do not stop me and make me sad anymore.
Anonymous
November 14th, 2016 7:43am
Find ways to discover more about yourself. With the amount of time you spent together, her/his character might have affected yours. Discover more about yourself.
Greatlistener87
August 22nd, 2016 5:20am
Letting the person go, easier said then done of cause. But not impossible. Aim to be happy for that person wherever they are and aim for your happiness from here on forth..
Anonymous
January 25th, 2016 9:13pm
Look to the future. That was the previous chapter of your life. Write the next half...hang in there.
Brandon32223
August 25th, 2015 7:04am
In order for one to stop thinking about the person that they have spent half of their life with, I think the main step a person should do is seek counseling with a therapist. You and your therapist can work out a plan that works for you.
Nkemvibez
June 30th, 2015 11:37pm
What you need to do is assept that he/she is gone. Then try to go out to keep you mind occupied. And all so try to go out on more dates:) this helps a lot. Try to keep him/her less and less out of you mind. Just focus on you love.
lovelyLynx18
June 21st, 2015 11:22pm
This is a hard one. The best way to stop thinking about someone is to just spend time with friends or family. Just be around those who make you laugh and forget about your troubles.
Anonymous
May 11th, 2015 7:48pm
Sometimes one may never be able to stop thinking about them. The best thing one can do in that situation is remember the good times, learn from the bad times and move on. You can apply that knowledge in the future!
KindHeart22
April 14th, 2015 1:55am
Depends, realize that you can't worry and fuss over someone forever- you have to think about you're own life too and the people around you. The people that are still around- It's harsh but for the best.
brilliantSoul17
March 7th, 2015 11:55pm
As much as I wish I could say it, you're not just going to wake up one day and be okay with losing someone who was that close to you. You have to play things by ear. Focus on the little things in life for a while, and eventually that individual won't be the center of your attention.