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How do I tell my boyfriend I want to have a baby?

106 Answers
Last Updated: 08/03/2020 at 1:58am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Jessica McDaniel, LPC, LCPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

I have been practicing cognitive behavioral psychotherapy since 2007 with a diverse group of adult clients with various diagnoses, all races, and socioeconomic classes.

Top Rated Answers
March 16th, 2016 3:25am
When telling your boyfriend you want a child be calm and collective. Understand how he would react to your question and think over what you will say.
January 17th, 2016 2:25pm
First of all, that's so cute. And another thing is you must go straight away to him and ask him about it. Most probably he will say yes. If he don't, then ask him the reason. Be frank. And fearless in front of your love.
February 4th, 2016 3:14am
Perhaps pick a relaxing time when you are both comfortable maybe cuddling in bed, or taking a walk together. Just remember it will likely be best if instead of saying "I want" maybe say "I think we should" or "I feel" or maybe even ask "how would you feel if we had a baby?" that way you get his perspective as well, perhaps this will make it easier.
February 24th, 2016 2:14pm
Just sit down with him and ask him how he feels about having a kid. Make sure that you're that only girl/woman that he wants. You need to make sure you really love eachother and are willing to fight for eachother and that baby.
February 7th, 2016 4:27am
Hey baby, I am thinking that we should take out relationship to the next level and I feel that were ready to have a baby :)
February 14th, 2016 1:17am
I'd start off by asking what things they are working towards in life? Do they see themselves having a house, a new car, marriage, children? Let them know things that you are hoping to achieve in life and things that you're working towards. You can't get mad at a person for being honest and telling them that having a baby is something that you would really like to do, and that you feel it is your time to do so. Just approach the subject delicately.... :)
June 12th, 2016 5:11pm
If your communication is open then "What do you think about having a child?" should be a fine opening gambit. It gets the idea out there that you're interested, but also solicits his feedback rather than simply coming off as a flat demand.
April 6th, 2016 10:11pm
Communication is key in any relationship. Find a time to sit down with your partner and discuss your desires in a calm, healthy way. Be prepared to listen to the reasons for whether he shares your desires or not.
February 3rd, 2016 9:02pm
I think this is one of those things you just have to come out and say it. You may feel apprehension about how he may react--worst case he may not want to, and will find that you should separate. That is probably something that is holding you back from telling him what you want. Think of it this way: the longer you wait, the more time you will have spent having a secret desire you can't share. It will spill over into your life. You will feel resentment. If the worst case scenario does happen, and your boyfriend does not want to have a baby with you, then you have the option to move on and find someone who does. In this conversation, you may also find that there are other factors involved in why you want to have a baby, whether it's an appropriate step for you alone, for you together, or at this point of time. Be open to the conversation that can happen in guiding you with this decision.
March 20th, 2016 11:26am
You and your boyfriend should discuss what you want your future prospects to be. Decisions such as starting a family, money, moving and so forth, can be very daunting, however discussing this with loved ones is wonderful as you know that these people love you and care for you. Be prepared for any scenario that you and your boyfriend might have, come in with an open mind and heart. Listen to his side and discuss various points together.
May 29th, 2016 7:55pm
Ask his opinion about babies next time you see a baby on tv or on the street and say you would like to have one. It's important to stay calm if he says he doesn't feel ready yet and explain why you feel ready (eg you have enough money and stable jobs, a house, you feel you know how to take care of someone that depends on you). Good luck!
January 24th, 2016 9:07pm
Ask your boyfriend how he sees the future of the relationship and where it is headed. See if his views match up with yours and introduce/bring up the idea of having a child together. Of course, make sure you have enough money to support the three of you.
February 3rd, 2016 7:20am
Open communication. There are no hints or getting around a straightforward conversation ESPECIALLY on a life changing topic like this. Be honest, be truthful, and be open to a discussion.
February 24th, 2016 4:17pm
If you have been with your boyfriend for a while now. And you both love eachother dearly. Then don't be afraid! Who knows he might actually want one too.
January 21st, 2016 12:45pm
Tell him, this is where you are in your life amd you see it being with him. Talk face to face. If the time.isnt ready for.him, see what you can to to make him more comfortable at the idea. Starting a family is a big.thing. Dont pressure him. But do talk about it
February 18th, 2016 2:05am
Try to bring up the concept of having a baby. Maybe talk hypothetically about it. Try to get him to understand the joy it would bring the pair of you and how you feel he would be as a father. Remember to always be truthful. If he seems open to discussions and suggestions about the topic then you can say that you have been thinking about it and that you want one. This will implant the idea of having a baby before you ask it so he will be less shocked or surprised and by talking about the positives beforehand. The positives will be the first thing he thinks of when you ask
February 27th, 2016 12:54am
Be honest. A strong relationship needs to be built on trust. Sharing how you feel is a big part of that.
January 15th, 2016 5:58pm
Having a baby is a big decision. You must think about it. And so does your boyfriend. So before talking about it with your partner, you must be sure, that this is really, what you want to do. But when you are totally sure, that you want a baby, then you can go for a walk (for example) and when you pass playground or sth you can ask him, does he wants babies.
January 16th, 2016 7:21pm
Having a baby is a huge responsibility. Make sure it's something you are both ready for. When you know you are, just be honest with him. Explain your reasons. Hopefully he'll be feeling the same. Good luck.
February 14th, 2016 9:14am
Ask him if he wants this relation to stop . If he replies no, then go on and tell him that you guys need to go more seriously into your own relationship. That would mean having a baby and meeting family and marriage ... go on.
March 11th, 2016 5:39pm
Just go and tell him. Men like simple, straight up stuffs so yeah, he'll be happier if you just break the news to him.
May 19th, 2016 2:02pm
You need to sit down with him and calmly explain your wishes and feelings. Try to understand his side of the story and his reasons if he has oposite opinion than you
June 2nd, 2016 11:23pm
You can perhaps drop hints to him, for example showing him baby clothes or pictures, you can also suggest how you'd think he'd be a great dad
April 10th, 2018 2:24pm
There's a lot of factors to take into consideration where starting a family is concerned as you probably know- e.g. finances, living arrangements, how long you've been in a relationship, age etc. I think the first step is making sure your partner is on the same page as you. Perhaps in conversation(try to keep it light) ask if they've considered having children in the future. Some people don't want to be parents ever, and that's perfectly ok. What's not ok is to force a person into having a child because only one party wants one. It's a big responsibility and can test even the most sturdy of relationships. Discuss the future, ask him where he sees your relationship going in 5 years, then introduce the idea of family to him as something you'd be looking for. Go from there.
January 13th, 2016 11:15pm
be honest and talk to him about it. BE sure that you both are ready for the responsibility of a child.
January 15th, 2016 8:00pm
I would casually ask him how he feels about kids and then go from there. Also if you're not certain you want it NOW, you could mention "in the future".
January 29th, 2016 7:07am
Start of by giving him hints, ex. When you see children point them out and say how cute they are. If he doesn't get the hint just ask if he'd like to have kids sometime..
January 31st, 2016 8:51pm
The best way to do this is to just simply sit down with him and talk to him about it, say that you are ready to have a child and ask if he is as well. If he is not ready you have to respect that but maybe ask why or when he thinks he will be able to. Make sure you do not put too much pressure on him otherwise the conversation could take a turn and he might get angry. But I wish you the best,
February 4th, 2016 1:37pm
If you really want one, then the only way to tell him is simply to say it to him. But if you do want a baby, you need to know the repercussions of having one. Having a child will drastically change your life and your body and if you are not ready for one, you and your partner may end up suffering for it.
February 4th, 2016 7:57pm
tell him casually but wait until you have a stable income and foundation and are older don't rush (: