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How do I tell my boyfriend I want to have a baby?

105 Answers
Last Updated: 04/10/2018 at 2:24pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Jessica McDaniel, LPC, LCPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

I have been practicing cognitive behavioral psychotherapy since 2005 with a diverse group of clients, all ages, races, and socioeconomic classes.

Top Rated Answers
March 31st, 2016 3:43pm
Telling your boyfriend that you want to have a baby can be scary, especially if we are not sure that he wants the same. The most important here is to stay open to any answer and to respect what he wants. Good luck!
March 31st, 2016 11:23pm
Come at him and say "I want to have a baby. I find them cute and I think we are so ready for this," The telling itself isn't scary, I guess, It's the reaction that is.
April 3rd, 2016 5:04am
Try talking to him calmly. Call him over, tell him you want to discuss one thing about the future of your relationship, and say that having a baby is something you want to do.
April 3rd, 2016 8:38am
You should first find out what he thinks about having children. Basing on his response, you can convey your thoughts about having a child compassionately, but assertively.
April 3rd, 2016 9:57am
Express your need to share your love and start talking about your long term plans. It is all about communication and clarification.
April 6th, 2016 12:25am
Tell him upfront, he deserves that. But do talk to him about his take on this, your environment, social and financial status, future plans etc. That way you don't risk coming off as a demanding woman who's imposing her wishes on him. It's a decision you will be taking together; honesty and transparency are your best friends.
April 8th, 2016 7:53pm
I would be a bit suttle and calm when confronting him. Allowing yourself to take a few deep breaths to calm down, may very well help you. But also make sure that you're really sure about wanting to have a child, it's a very big responsibility..
April 17th, 2016 3:54pm
If you are married already thats okay, but if you are still a teenager I think its best that you dont mention it to him.
April 20th, 2016 5:22am
you want to feel that you trust the person, and you have an open channel for communication. It can be scary, but often it's worth it just to say the truth. Maybe he will like it. And if not right away, it might take time until he understands
April 22nd, 2016 2:18am
Talk to him seriously and tell him how you feel and that you want a kid and see how he feels then you guys can talk it out but first you should see if the relationship is able to handle it
April 22nd, 2016 5:59pm
Talk to him about it. Maybe he wants to have a baby to, but the only way you will find out is if you talk to him about it and see what he thinks.
April 27th, 2016 1:53pm
You can just try approaching him and telling him. Unless he has something strong against babies there shouldn't be too many problems.
April 29th, 2016 9:48pm
You can talk to him about where he sees your guys future going. If he wants you guys to always be together, then talk to him about wanting a family with him.
May 6th, 2016 9:14am
The best way to let him know would be to sit him down and have a discussion about your relationship and where you see it going. Always be frank and have absolute transparency in every discussion, be it small or big. This is a BIG discussion and you need to prepare yourself of every eventuality or response that he might have to your request, after all, you must understand that different people have different goals and desires. If you'll have been going strong for a long time, it should be safe to assume that he will welcome the discussion and there will be a productive discourse on the topic. All the best!
May 7th, 2016 3:05pm
I feel like that honesty and open communication are key in a situation like that. Tell him openly what you want but also tell him that you would like to know his thoughts and that you do not want to put him under immediate pressure.
May 11th, 2016 9:09am
It is always best to be honest. Discuss it with him kindly in a calm environment and allow him to give his honest input as well.
May 19th, 2016 7:39pm
In a relationship, the most important thing is quality communication and honesty. If this is really what you want, you need to tell him. There is certainly a risk that he may not feel the same way, but if you can't communicate and trust one another... maybe you're not meant to be togther.
May 21st, 2016 12:10pm
You get him someplace quiet and relaxed and tell him that you want to have a child. If he freaks out tell him it's ok if he doesn't want to
May 25th, 2016 4:11pm
Just that- tell him, because open and honest communication is important in a relationship. But also realize he may not be at the same point as you in life, and he may not be ready. Understand him and in return, hope he understands you.
May 27th, 2016 11:28pm
You should simply ask it. If your boyfriend is touchy about the subject it might be a good time to find out why. Communication and Understanding are key.
June 1st, 2016 8:10pm
I believe you should slowly ease into it, perhaps if you're a little uncomfortable at first, throw out some hints. But I believe if he's understanding and really cares about you, he will hear you out, you both will talk and then you both can come to a decision. It may not all happen in a day, it could take a few days, or perhaps even weeks. But sooner or later you both will come to a decision. (:
June 1st, 2016 8:27pm
Sit him down, and just have a calm conversation. You could also speak to a medical professional as they are able to provide advice and support on how to start a family!
June 2nd, 2016 10:36pm
Sit him down and tell him how you feel! Being open is so important- especially when talking about big decisions and emotions. Remember to keep eye contact too- your eyes are the gateway to your soul!
June 3rd, 2016 4:21pm
you have to just ask, find a time that you two can be emotionally intimate and relaxed, like after a bath together, and just say it. its not going to scare him if he knows you are thinking about it, and not planning it without him. maybe he wants a baby too... you'll only know when you have a honest heart to heart conversation as partners
June 3rd, 2016 9:23pm
Sit down and explain all the good qualities about his and yours relationship. Show him yall can do it and it could be a perfect time.
June 4th, 2016 9:18am
Well first you need to think how long the relationship has been going for and if you are both in a stable enough place to raise a child, You would really need to sit down and have a very open conversation with him to see what you both want. You both need to be honest and open and not just tell each other what you think the other person may want to hear. You need to talk about where you see your future heading, do you see marriage etc. Having a baby is a very big step and commitment.
June 4th, 2016 11:17am
first of all you should choose the right time and place to tell him , make him feel like having a wonderful mirror reflecting both of you in a nice tiny human being is something wonderful , don't put too much pressure on him about that and no matter what was the answer take it easy !
June 4th, 2016 5:21pm
First of all, wanting to have a baby is perfectly normal. Consider if you meet the conditions for a new member in the family and if yes, speak calmly about it with your partner and ask him what he thinks about. After you have clear understanding of each other feelings about this event, you can move to the next step.
June 5th, 2016 2:44am
It depends on many factors. If you are not of age my suggestion is RETHINK your choice list the pros and cons of what you want before making a move. if you ARE of age how ever, try taking time out of both of your day and sit down and openly talk about it and see how he feels about it and see if hes ready just like you are.
June 8th, 2016 6:55pm
I'm a big believer in honesty when it comes to important matters. Being honest means being true to who you are, your values, and what you want out of life. It is best to be completely honest about something like having a baby, because even if your biggest fear is your boyfriend not wanting one, you're staying true to who you are and what you want out of life by outright telling him. Go about it in a casual way, ask his opinion on the matter and express yourself accordingly. Don't shy away from the things you want in life.