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How do I tell my boyfriend I'm not happy?

249 Answers
Last Updated: 04/16/2020 at 8:50pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
Canada
Moderated by

Sara Radford, MA Clinical Counseling

Clinical Social Work/Therapist

Within the context of a supportive, collaborative relationship I help clients to explore themselves in a effort to create healing and lasting positive change.

Top Rated Answers
Octoberskye1996
June 14th, 2018 5:40pm
Have you all talked about this before? Ask yourself what exactly you are not happy with. Did something happen to make you unhappy with him?
AnnaTope
August 23rd, 2018 5:41pm
I think it’s important if not critical when in a relationship to share the way you are feeling. It doesn’t necessarily have to come across as mean, rude or lack of. A round table conversation stating the way you feel and the reasons behind it would be nice. Also try to include a solution for the issue, for example if you are not happy because of x,y,z let’s try to do more of x, y,z at least one or twice a week. Monitor your progress and if there isn’t much then another round table talk would be great. I have personally tried it in the past and it has worked for me.
CarlGrimesIsBae
May 13th, 2016 7:02pm
You should just be able to do that anyway. Your partner is someone you should be able to tell anything to. Just go ahead.
LolOreoGod
May 13th, 2016 11:57pm
You can do this with multiple ways, One of which is sighing a lot and looking at the floor or at a downwards perspective. This usually indictates you are not happy about something. If this does not work, you can just straight up telling him that you are feeling down and what your problems are. If you think he will dump you for this, your most likely wrong. A good boyfriend would never do that ;)
Anonymous
May 14th, 2016 10:16pm
I know this can be hard for you to tell your boyfriend, but it's best that you come to him and tell him how you feel. Being honest about how you feel in the relationship will help you and you boyfriend solve the issue
SoftTree88
May 15th, 2016 4:32am
The best thing to do is to remain honest and forthcoming, yet kind and respectful. You should never sacrifice your happiness for the sake of someone else's, but you should also remain considerate of how you might feel if the roles were reversed. Overall, being open is the key to a trusting relationship, and it could be as simple as saying to your boyfriend, "I'm not happy," and explaining.
Square
May 18th, 2016 8:29am
The exact way you're saying it here. If you're not happy, you can't expect him to guess. He needs to know what's going on. It will help you both
Greatlistener87
May 20th, 2016 8:19am
Be honest, Honesty is the best policy, find the right time to sit him down and talk to him. Tell him how you feel and why you feel that way. Also let him know how he can help to make it better for you.
BrilliantSanity74
May 20th, 2016 2:38pm
Honesty and directness is usually the best policy. If you are not happy, it is compassionate to both of you for you to be honest and direct.
a7x1208
May 25th, 2016 11:29pm
Sit down with your boyfriend and tell him the reasons you're not happy. Do you think you can work through it? Relationships can be quite difficult but it is up to you and how you feel about him. I hope you find you're happiness.
sodhi7
June 2nd, 2016 3:10am
If you are sure you are not happy with the relationship, then I think the best thing you can do is sit down and spend some time and talk to him. Be completely honest and let him know that whatever time you had together was amazing and something special for you. I know it can be hard, but its better to take care of it earlier than let is just go on like that. In the long run, it will all be fine. Time heals everything.
caterina9999
June 2nd, 2016 6:26pm
Simply tell him, as you're doing now. If you can explain him why, do it, be very clear and upfront about your feelings and relationship. Men are not generally as "smart" as women: they struggle with showing sympathy and sometimes they just don't know how to help, even if they would love to.
NobleCat
June 2nd, 2016 10:12pm
It can be difficult to have this conversation if you haven't in the past. And a serious conversation like this can be intimidating to all parties. But ultimately I think it's best to keep in mind that your goal is to improve the relationship overall. Having this conversation and assessing what can be done better will ultimately improve both of your well-beings. It might be scary asking your boyfriend to have this talk, but just keep this in mind and it might be a little easier.
SmellyCat89
June 3rd, 2016 5:22pm
Dare to talk to him completely honestly . Being unhappy shows; he may be even waiting for you to be ready and talk about it.
vividexpectations
June 4th, 2016 7:44am
You tell your boyfriend that you are not happy by telling him so. When there is something wrong the correct thing to do is converse with that specified person. Try your best not to be clandestine on emotions as well.
Anonymous
June 5th, 2016 4:09pm
First of all, in my opinion you have to understand why you're not happy and what would change it. Not because of him, but because of yourself. Once you're comfortable with your questions and once you can understand what's the problem, than you can tell him in a more effetive way. Other than that, it's something so personal and unique but I think that if you show him your reasons not to be happy, in a calm and understanding way, it will be a good conversation.
EmilyAnnMarie
June 8th, 2016 12:02am
Ease the topic in, dont just throw it out there, that may cause problems, but easing it in works mos times
understandingOrange
June 9th, 2016 6:31am
Just be open with him and speak whats on your mind. If you open up to him about the things you feel are wrong about the relationship you can help fix it and create a happier relationship for the future.
Josho93
June 9th, 2016 3:25pm
From past troubles I can say if she would have just told me problems and worked with me to resolve them it would eliminated all the problems. When you can't talk to your spouse more and more problems will arise. Guys don't have a clue anyways, you can't speak in code to us. Tell us the truth and be straight about it.
Anonymous
June 9th, 2016 8:59pm
Just talk to him, sit down and tell him how you feel and you can decide whether to try to work it out or whether to end it
meowcolin10
June 10th, 2016 2:09am
Just politely tell him what you are unhappy about and what he can change to make both of you happy. A caring boyfriend will understand.
Anonymous
June 11th, 2016 9:34pm
Tell him I'm not happy. Seriously It will save the relationship or break it either ways you will benefit.
anotherfrenchtoastmafiaa
June 12th, 2016 5:06pm
So first ask yourself, why are you still with him? Do you truly feel like all the things that upset you about the situation can be remedied? If not then don't bother and just break up with him. No point in arguing and upsetting yourself over something that can't be remedied. But if you have a nagging feeling and want to make this work, then you MUST sit down and explain it.
dreamingCat7474
June 15th, 2016 10:56pm
You tell him how you feel honestly and gently. Honesty is the greatest thing anyone can offer and if you aren't honest by telling your significant other how you feel, well you are lying.
lovecherry08
June 16th, 2016 7:12am
Face the situation..Tell Him what all Problems you are Facing..Try to sort out together,..Bring back the MAgic..And Be happy together...:)
RogerDan555
June 17th, 2016 3:00am
Sit and discuss with him what bothers you. Try and make him understand how you both can work out on things.
queenofspaids
June 18th, 2016 2:16am
Try to sit him down and explain what exactly is on your mind and how you think you could be happy again. Problem solve and work on it together.
SiriuslyAsh
June 19th, 2016 1:26am
Be honest and mindful of his feelings. It's your right to be able to express yourself freely. At the same time, you may not want to hurt his feelings in case he really cares about you and wants to do what he can to make you happy.
Anonymous
June 24th, 2016 7:23am
Telling your companion how you truly feel can be difficult in any circumstance. When you're not feeling happy, the first thing you need to do is ask yourself what in particular is causing you to feel that way. Don't be afraid to ask yourself what you need to, as that'll only serve to make things easier later. This will help you figure out exactly what to say, and how to say it. Once you feel comfortable, you should set aside a time to talk to your boyfriend about your feelings. Make sure you approach the manner in a friendly, non-hostile way, and maintain focus on the topic at hand. All in all, wait until you feel comfortable with discussing it. If you're in any danger, however, do not hesitate to contact the proper authorities, or a helpline if need be.
Anonymous
June 25th, 2016 10:40pm
Sit down with him and tell him gently that you don't feel the connection anymore. You need to be honest and gentle with his feelings.