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How do I tell my boyfriend I'm not happy?

275 Answers
Last Updated: 12/17/2020 at 9:05am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United Kingdom
Moderated by

Tara Davis, Doctorate in Counselling Psychology


I have worked successfully with a wide range of difficulties. Nothing is more important than developing a warm, compassionate relationship with someone you can trust

Top Rated Answers
June 19th, 2016 1:26am
Be honest and mindful of his feelings. It's your right to be able to express yourself freely. At the same time, you may not want to hurt his feelings in case he really cares about you and wants to do what he can to make you happy.
June 24th, 2016 7:23am
Telling your companion how you truly feel can be difficult in any circumstance. When you're not feeling happy, the first thing you need to do is ask yourself what in particular is causing you to feel that way. Don't be afraid to ask yourself what you need to, as that'll only serve to make things easier later. This will help you figure out exactly what to say, and how to say it. Once you feel comfortable, you should set aside a time to talk to your boyfriend about your feelings. Make sure you approach the manner in a friendly, non-hostile way, and maintain focus on the topic at hand. All in all, wait until you feel comfortable with discussing it. If you're in any danger, however, do not hesitate to contact the proper authorities, or a helpline if need be.
June 25th, 2016 10:40pm
Sit down with him and tell him gently that you don't feel the connection anymore. You need to be honest and gentle with his feelings.
June 29th, 2016 1:31am
maybe you should try to sit him and talk to him about try to focus on what youre feeling and what he is doing
June 29th, 2016 10:36am
Take time to plan on what day to meet. Discuss his reflections on behalf of the relationship then state out yours after. Finding ways to make ends meet
July 1st, 2016 3:57pm
Tell him that you want to talk about your feelings and stress that these are your feelings. You can tell him perhaps that you fell not happy at the moment and that you will find out -with him- what you can do about that.
July 7th, 2016 4:01am
Communication is always key in every relationship, don't ever forget that. Do you know what is causing you not to be happy? How about just sitting down with your partner and telling them what is on your mind? Sometimes this may seem difficult, so you could always write them a letter explaining your situation. Sometimes it may seem like avoidance is the best option, but if you are not happy, perhaps your partner can help to ensure that you are happy in the long run. Remember, always try to talk it out and we are here to help!
July 7th, 2016 8:49pm
Start by sitting down face-to-face in a place where their aren't any distractions. Start by saying something along the lines of "I need to speak with you about something, but I need you to listen to me and not interrupt." Tell him everything, tell him what makes you not happy and explain to him every detail
July 8th, 2016 6:10pm
Two important things in any relationship are communication and trust. Start by asking him to keep a calm and level head when you confide in him with something you want to talk about, then go ahead and explain to him exactly how you are feeling. Open communication and honesty will go a long way, and he could be able to help you in ways you are not expecting.
July 9th, 2016 11:25am
Be blunt and if he's the reason you aren't then you should straight up tell him so he can think of ways to make you happier. Boys can't read a girl's thoughts and sometimes we make that mistake. Don't be one of those girls who gets upset with their boyfriends and not tell them why.
July 9th, 2016 3:33pm
Whatever you do, don't push him away or start acting abnormal. Rather approach him and sit him down and communicate. Note I said communicate, not talk. There is a difference, especially in my mind. Relationships only work when we communicate. Acting up or pushing a partner away hurts both of you. And it is ok if he isn't able to communicate as effectively as you might be doing. But communicating and being open makes a world of difference, even if it really feels impossible some times.
July 10th, 2016 4:40pm
Just tell him. There is no way to beat that subject around the bush, it's a very tough subject which is why you just have to be straight with them. Be open and be honest. Tell him that you are unhappy, tell him why you are unhappy. Maybe even tell him what you need to be happy. Just explain it to him. He should be caring and understanding of your feelings.
July 11th, 2016 3:40am
Hello! Speaking from the heart is always the best option. When I told my boyfriend that I was unhappy, he appreciated the honesty. Honesty is always the best policy. If you have something on your mind, just say it. Good luck.
July 13th, 2016 5:15pm
Communication is one of the key things that actually has the capability of establishing the bond. You have a good communication going on, you know what's going on his mind. He has a good communication with you, knows what's been bothering how. That's how it works. give and take. Communication lays the bridge between two. and helps to bond And when there's a communication gap between the two, you don't really feel connected to the deep. So if i'm not happy about something, i'd prefer to be verbal about it rather than giving him signs to pick up my unhappy vibe. I'd be open about it, have a talk and lay it out to him. Thats communication, right there.
July 15th, 2016 2:15am
This is a very common situation in now a days. It's either your SO is not doing his part of you just fall out of love. But the best thing someone can do is just to give time to talk about things and say it to him. Do not sugar coat it. You just have to say it that you're not happy and give the reason why you're feeling that way.
July 15th, 2016 2:36am
You should sit your boyfriend down and tell them your feelings and let him know that you're feeling this way so maybe he can fix it before it's too late
July 15th, 2016 7:49am
Be honest with how you really feel. Tell them it because there is nothing much more hurtful than leading someone on.
July 16th, 2016 4:11am
Be straight up and honest. Beating around the bush will do no good whatsoever. Tell him how you feel, and that you're doing this for you, not because he did something wrong. You have control of your happiness, don't let anyone get in the way of it.
July 17th, 2016 9:16pm
I think that the best thing you can do is be honest and direct. If you are not happy with something in your relationship, talk about it. If you are stressed out, talk about it. Our spouses are there to love and support us. Open communication is the best thing for all of those involved. I know it can be hard to tell someone how you are feeling, especially if admitting that you are not happy is scary for you too. I now that it was hard for me to tell anyone that I was depressed because that meant I had to admit it to myself. Take the step in telling someone, especially someone who loves you and cares for you. It may seem scary now, but in the end you will feel better. It may even make you closer as a couple.
July 23rd, 2016 6:41am
Be honest with him, if your unhappy he deserves to know. Be kind and soft to him don't scream at him and always give an explinatination
July 23rd, 2016 9:44pm
Sometimes writing a letter helps. This way you can write down everything you are feeling so that your boyfriend can understand.
July 24th, 2016 12:34pm
Tell him face-to-face. A healthy couple should be able to communicate effectively without fear of judgement, and not be comprised of individuals who are afraid to share their true sentiments with each other.
July 24th, 2016 2:13pm
If you tell him you're unhappy he will probably want to know why. As long as you're prepared for some of those questions it should a lot easier. Good luck :)
July 28th, 2016 10:16pm
Well start by telling him how you been feeling and how you felt before and now and at the end of the day love yourself and be happy
July 30th, 2016 3:48am
You calmly ask your boyfriend can you and him talk privately. Then you fix a dinner and you say honey I love you, but right now I'm not happy. Then you begin to explain why you are not happy.
July 30th, 2016 1:47pm
Just say this on his face and if you can't do this then show through your actions or your behavior..
July 31st, 2016 6:49pm
There is no easy way to do it but harboring feelings of unhappiness can be the cause of a horrible relationship. It's easier to just spit it out as nicely as you can and hope for the best.
August 3rd, 2016 11:15am
You should just sit him down and tell your not happy. It'd be better in the end to tell him now then to wait because it'd be more painful if he finds out you haven't been happy then whole time and you've just been wasting his time.
August 6th, 2016 3:43pm
You need to talk him because you're not happy and te love is the same thing with happy. You should talk with him
August 7th, 2016 11:03am
Talking it out is always best. Ask for some time that you two can sit down and talk, and let him know that you are not happy, and maybe what he can do to help.