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How do I tell my boyfriend I'm not happy?

307 Answers
Last Updated: 06/08/2022 at 7:13pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
Greece
Moderated by

Johanna Liasides, MSc, PhDc

Psychologist

I work with youth and young adults to help them improve depressive symptoms and self-esteem as well as effectively address family, relationship and peer conflicts.

Top Rated Answers
MiffyCatMeow
September 26th, 2018 6:01am
I organize my thoughts and tell him firmly how I’m not happy. Try to communicate to see if there’s a way for both of us to be happy about the situation. If it works out. Great! Because every relationship requires work. Only the one who cares about are willing to do the work with you because he cares. If not, obviously he doesn’t care about me especially when I tell him I’m not happy. Then I would probably break up with him. Nothing is more lonely than being with someone but still feel loneliness. There’s always someone better out there. I rather be single than be with the wrong persona and unhappy for the rest of my life.
SianaC36
September 14th, 2018 7:53pm
The first step is being open and honest with yourself. Why are you not happy? Are you recieving the love you need from the relationship? Is there something your boyfriend can do to improve the relationship? What can you do to improve the relationship? Everyone has a different love language and you must share your language with your SO and pay attention to his as well. After evaluating your thoughts and feelings, share them with your boyfriend and find a solution together. Remember it's okay to have these feelings. The goal is to resolve them in a proactive manner.
Anonymous
September 8th, 2018 5:20pm
Open communication in a relationship is very very important. Boundaries too, if you’re not happy in the relationship. I think it would be best to discuss those feelings. And see how the both of you feel about it, and maybe what the both of you can do to change that, and or improve! But as one of my favourite sayings “You Can’t Force Love”. If you don’t feel as if it’ll work, or there is no feature. You need to be open and honest, tell them how you feel. I wish you the best of luck, take care and stay safe! ❤️
vanillawest88
September 6th, 2018 10:58pm
The best way to tell someone you are not happy, is honestly. Some times we have to put our selves in uncomfortable situations in order to get things off our chest. Things like that are never easy, so we will always feel anxious, nervous, etc because we do not know how the other person is going to relax. Also, your partner deserves to know you are not happy. He may not be aware, and might not know the adjustments he needs to make. Be honest, be calm, and let him know, so you can both be happy in the relationship.
dancingForest68
June 16th, 2018 12:03am
Just be as honest as possible. It is difficult, but remember that if you're not happy, he won't receive the best from you. And that is not your fault! I went through this a while ago, and although it was hard, it was better for us to part.
intelligentBeauty89
April 5th, 2018 3:35pm
Communication is key in any type of relationship. Ask if you can talk to him about something that is bothering you but your not trying to blame him or cause an argument. You just want him to listen to how you are feeling and both parties need to speak in a calm manner remembering to always be empathic to each other’s feelings.
Ebonyroseofficial
April 11th, 2018 9:22pm
You sit him down, make sure he isn’t in a bad mood and explain to him you’re not happy and why. What would also be good to refer to is how you think you could feel better.
Anonymous
April 12th, 2018 7:35pm
Sit him down and let him know you would like to talk. Don't play the blame game and address your concerns.
N1Listener
March 23rd, 2018 8:42pm
In my experience he is your boyfriend and if your not happy in the relationship you have a right to tell him that and he should respect your honesty and maturity.
richyShiny39
April 18th, 2018 7:49am
Personal opinion would honest and be respectful as well. I suggest if you tell them face face if you are able and if not over phone.
BritishSteven
April 20th, 2018 8:54am
There will never be an easy way to sit down and talk about your feelings, I find that just going for it is the best option, it's never as bad as you have imagined it will be
Anonymous
April 25th, 2018 4:26pm
I express my view that I dont feel happy please stop the thing which makes me feel bad you love me so u should care for me as wellas I do for you
dgcato
April 26th, 2018 2:25am
Sit down with him and talk about how you've been feeling recently in your relationship. Tell him exactly why you aren't feeling happy (before talking to him find out why you aren't happy with him any more). Hopefully, he will understand.
Anonymous
May 9th, 2018 8:06pm
In situations like these, honesty is key. You should never try to hide your intentions by camouflaging them with words. Ask him to meet up, preferably face to face, and tell him that you aren't happy, and explain why. Be sure that he understands you and that he listens. There's nothing worse than not being happy while in a relationship, and if you make him aware of the lack of happiness you miss, he should definitely begin paying attention.
Anonymous
June 8th, 2022 7:13pm
Being unhappy in a relationship is as serious as one makes it. Informing your significant other is a big step toward taking care of yourself. In order to create a safe space for yourself and your partner, try to pick a location you're both comfortable in. This way, it'll be easier for you two both to talk. The next thing I'd do is sit them down and explain that you want to discuss something important within your relationship. This will allow them to understand that what you're about to talk to them about is something serious. Next, discuss what's been bothering you but try not to blame your partner even if you do feel it's their fault. This will help eliminate negative energy as "blaming" someone is something many people tend to get defensive about. Being calm and understanding is the most important thing to do when discussing something important within a relationship as it creates healthy/positive communication.
hisCreator89
May 13th, 2018 1:15am
Well telling ur boyfriend not happy hard thing, but any relation should be based on communication and honesty specially with ur partner , and all u need to do is to be honest and tell them directly with a calm attitude and to start to set some solutions for the issue
Eyesears
May 23rd, 2018 4:28am
Take your time to think over how and when you can tell him that. Before doing it, make a list of which things are making you unhappy, since probably he will be looking forward to know how he can change that. If you don’t love him anymore, then it’s a bit harder for him because there is not always something to can change to make the situation better. Anyway, I think it is important to have a clear and schematic list of what’s wrong in your head because telling him, it will help clarifying.
Beautifuldreamer98
May 23rd, 2018 9:24pm
In a real heart to heart conversation where the point needs to be brought across clearly but respectfully. Your happiness as well as your boyfriend's is very important~
Sken24
June 2nd, 2018 1:29am
Calmly sit with said bf and state that you are not feeling happy, recognising that they are your personal feelings.
Anonymous
June 7th, 2018 5:17pm
Talk to him about how you're feeling. Make him understand that you are unhappy, and he will support you and try his best to make you feel happy again.
Anonymous
June 9th, 2018 3:14pm
Maybe you could sit down with him and explain your reasons for not feeling happy anymore. Discuss it and try and make him understand
Anonymous
July 18th, 2018 9:48pm
That can be difficult to do but the best thing you could do is just be honest. Let him know how you feel on the inside and number one make sure its right for you and that's truly how you feel.
Anonymous
July 29th, 2018 12:52am
Tell him by texting if its hard to tell face to face tell him that you feel a missing part which he cant replace
Anonymous
July 27th, 2018 5:17am
i am so sorry that you are not happy. i feel that direct communication works best in most cases. i say most cases because i don't know the nature of your relationship and if being honest would put you in any danger of abuse then i would not recommend it. If you feel safe to talk openly and honestly, then i myself would ask to talk to him and tell him i am unhappy. It would hopefully lead to a conversation where a mutual solution can be found. IF you are in an abusive relationship, please seek help. 7 Cups has any resources available here. i hope this helped! #biglove
Asame
July 26th, 2018 12:09am
Communication is the key for a healthy relationship. Don't worry, if he loves you he wants you to be happy too and will listen to you.
Anonymous
July 25th, 2018 7:29pm
Just start by telling him you would like to talk to him and take your time in explaining how you feel.
Anonymous
July 25th, 2018 2:35pm
FInd a time that you are both free to meet up and tell him, it might be hard at first but afterwards you will feel much better
Allears247
July 25th, 2018 10:19am
Simply tell him and explain why. Things like this are never easy to say and you're rarely able to lessen the blow.
SocialLemon12
July 20th, 2018 4:29am
Honesty is the best thing to go with. This way you will express your feelings and help him understand
Anonymous
June 24th, 2018 2:28am
For me honesty is key to everything, relax and take your time to talk to him tell hik what went wrong and try to work it out