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How do I tell my boyfriend I'm not happy?

277 Answers
Last Updated: 01/03/2021 at 2:43pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Elena Morales, LMHC

Licensed Professional Counselor

I believe silence creates a cycle. With empathic and collaborative therapy, we break the cycle. I help clients feel validated and supported passed anger, shame, and anxiety.

Top Rated Answers
November 22nd, 2017 6:57pm
I am not authorized to give advice. However, I would like to know what do you think would be the best way to tell him that you are not happy? Communication is key.
November 24th, 2017 7:46pm
You should say with him and start conversation. Start conversation about how you feel. Tell him about your feelings and tell him that you are not happy and why are you not happy.
November 26th, 2017 4:58pm
Everybody knows honesty is the best policy. You have got to tell him politely and directly how you feel. Look him in the eye and tell him to listen to you. Tell him what you are feeling towards him. However, even if you are not happy, you must stay calm and relaxed. This way, your boyfriend will receive the message that you are trying to tell him.
November 29th, 2017 1:52pm
Honesty is the best policy, if he doesn’t know how you feel he can’t change or help you find a solution. The guilt builds if you don’t get it off your chest.
December 2nd, 2017 8:40am
The backbone of every relationship is communication. Communication is a communion of two people who come together in this relationship of not just expressing, but also listening. You need to tell your boyfriend that you're not happy. If you do, he might take efforts for both of you to be happy :) Otherwise, you'll only suffer in silence. Don't do that. You deserve much better. He also needs to know how you're really feeling. It's important for you both.
December 6th, 2017 1:11pm
caring for our emotions is important so be straightforward and tell your boyfriend that you're not happy
December 17th, 2017 2:39am
Approach your boyfriend in a calm manner and explain to him how you feel. Request him not to get angry and have a calm and composed discussion. I am sure your boyfriend will understand and will try to help you out. Just be honest and open but do not be rude and hurtful, because then it may turn into a fight.
December 27th, 2017 4:49am
Just tell him. Communication is important in any relationship and you should talk to the people who are close to you. Opening up about how you feel may be really uncomfortable but it's extremely beneficial in the long run. Always be cautious of how people react, although don't let that deter you from speaking about how you feel.
January 4th, 2018 9:15pm
Tell him straight up he needs to know ! If you wait it will be worse when he finally finds out trust me
January 5th, 2018 2:31pm
Talk to him. Explain how you are feeling, if he really cares for you I’m sure he’ll understand. Remember, your happiness comes first
January 10th, 2018 10:46am
Tell your boyfriend exactly how you feel. Explain to your boyfriend what emotions are occurring within you and what you want to do to fix it.
January 12th, 2018 8:28am
Make him comfortable around you and just discuss some light things about life. Then slowly ask his permission to share more deeper thoughts. Tell him that we can help each other for our better understanding and making this relationship stronger. And then speak with utmost honesty about the fact and never blaming him.
January 16th, 2018 3:14am
Tell him honestly, but consider his feelings and talk to him. I find that deep conversations like that are done more effectively in private and without distractions
January 18th, 2018 6:24pm
Try a hinting him about the problems you have and by this way he may become more aware of the problem you are facing. If that does not work , try couples therapy at a local counsellor .
January 25th, 2018 11:44pm
Be honest and firm of how you feel , and let them know you have good intentions you just don’t know why you feel this way
January 31st, 2018 11:59pm
First you should tell him that you need to talk to him about something important, then you can start telling him exactly how you feel and give him the reasons why. Let him know if you want to try to save your relationship or if you definitely want to break up. It's best to make your intentions clear.
February 2nd, 2018 5:43pm
Just like that. People value honesty in relationships. There's no reason to beat around the bush or sugar coat what you're really feeling. Tell him you're not happy, but also tell him why. If he really wants things to work, he'll do everything he can to fix it and make you happy again.
February 4th, 2018 11:54pm
If you are in a relationship and find yourself unhappy, it is best to come out and let them know before anymore feelings get involved. If you do not feel comfortable telling them in person, try writing a letter to give to them and give them an opportunity to come to you after they've read it and talk about what your next steps should be.
February 7th, 2018 11:19am
There's no other way than being straight forward about it. Being honest and straight forward is the way to go
February 8th, 2018 1:04am
Be open and honest and tell him the truth. Tell him what makes you not happy. Lay it all out and don’t hide anything.
February 12th, 2018 11:15pm
I am not happy, will you please talk with me? We need to talk more, I don't feel we communicate enough.
February 21st, 2018 1:19am
Telling someone you arent happy, weather its because of them, or life in general can be very difficult, however, telling them in a gentle way, sitting them down and really explaining things to them is usually the best way to go.
February 21st, 2018 12:17pm
Try subtly showing him that you are not happy in the relationship.If he does not understand your actions then tell him directly.It will be difficult in the beginning but it'll be worth it.
February 24th, 2018 12:28am
Be completely honest with him. Get with him in person (unless he's an online boyfriend), and express your feelings. Just be completely honest.
March 1st, 2018 9:39pm
I talk to him openly abot things that makes me unhappy and try to solve with him together, if its possible.
March 2nd, 2018 2:41pm
Be honest with him, tell him why you're not happy not just that you're not happy. Work with him so that he can understand so that either the issues can be fixed or you can part on good terms. Don't lie, don't just up and leave or there will be more questions. Think about it beforehand, have your thoughts figured out and then have a conversation with him someplace private that isn't a strong emotional site for the two of you.
March 2nd, 2018 3:22pm
Tell him you need to talk to him , maybe ask him to sit down beside you. Start to tell him that you are not ok and explain how you are feeling, let him know everything that is going on it will be a huge weight off your shoulders! If he loves you he will understand and care for you through this difficult time !
March 7th, 2018 6:57am
Being straightforward an truthful about it. It's important to be happy. It's something that should be taken seriously and you two ( if you want to stay with him ) should work on that. Explain him in a detailed way the cause of the sadness, and make him understand.
March 10th, 2018 10:28pm
Usually talking to him helps a LOT, making him aware as to the reason you're unhappy and what has made you that way can help.
March 19th, 2018 9:46pm
If your not happy with him, I would tell him soon. If you are not happy, tell him so he can help you