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How do I tell my boyfriend I'm not happy?

277 Answers
Last Updated: 01/03/2021 at 2:43pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
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Elena Morales, LMHC

Licensed Professional Counselor

I believe silence creates a cycle. With empathic and collaborative therapy, we break the cycle. I help clients feel validated and supported passed anger, shame, and anxiety.

Top Rated Answers
N1Listener
March 23rd, 2018 8:42pm
In my experience he is your boyfriend and if your not happy in the relationship you have a right to tell him that and he should respect your honesty and maturity.
YourFriendforever
March 29th, 2018 2:01am
The most important part of a relationship is communication.. If we do not communicate with one another it becomes difficult to sustain the relationship. Whether it's because of your bf or anything else that bothers you, you can always share it with him since am sure when you got into this relationship, one of the things you both promised each other was to be there for one another in time of need. This strengthens the bond too. So in your very own way tell your boyfriend if there is anything that is not making you happy.
intelligentBeauty89
April 5th, 2018 3:35pm
Communication is key in any type of relationship. Ask if you can talk to him about something that is bothering you but your not trying to blame him or cause an argument. You just want him to listen to how you are feeling and both parties need to speak in a calm manner remembering to always be empathic to each other’s feelings.
Ebonyroseofficial
April 11th, 2018 9:22pm
You sit him down, make sure he isn’t in a bad mood and explain to him you’re not happy and why. What would also be good to refer to is how you think you could feel better.
Anonymous
April 12th, 2018 7:35pm
Sit him down and let him know you would like to talk. Don't play the blame game and address your concerns.
richyShiny39
April 18th, 2018 7:49am
Personal opinion would honest and be respectful as well. I suggest if you tell them face face if you are able and if not over phone.
BritishSteven
April 20th, 2018 8:54am
There will never be an easy way to sit down and talk about your feelings, I find that just going for it is the best option, it's never as bad as you have imagined it will be
heartfulWings71
April 25th, 2018 4:26pm
I express my view that I dont feel happy please stop the thing which makes me feel bad you love me so u should care for me as wellas I do for you
dgcato
April 26th, 2018 2:25am
Sit down with him and talk about how you've been feeling recently in your relationship. Tell him exactly why you aren't feeling happy (before talking to him find out why you aren't happy with him any more). Hopefully, he will understand.
Anonymous
May 9th, 2018 8:06pm
In situations like these, honesty is key. You should never try to hide your intentions by camouflaging them with words. Ask him to meet up, preferably face to face, and tell him that you aren't happy, and explain why. Be sure that he understands you and that he listens. There's nothing worse than not being happy while in a relationship, and if you make him aware of the lack of happiness you miss, he should definitely begin paying attention.
hisCreator89
May 13th, 2018 1:15am
Well telling ur boyfriend not happy hard thing, but any relation should be based on communication and honesty specially with ur partner , and all u need to do is to be honest and tell them directly with a calm attitude and to start to set some solutions for the issue
Eyesears
May 23rd, 2018 4:28am
Take your time to think over how and when you can tell him that. Before doing it, make a list of which things are making you unhappy, since probably he will be looking forward to know how he can change that. If you don’t love him anymore, then it’s a bit harder for him because there is not always something to can change to make the situation better. Anyway, I think it is important to have a clear and schematic list of what’s wrong in your head because telling him, it will help clarifying.
Beautifuldreamer98
May 23rd, 2018 9:24pm
In a real heart to heart conversation where the point needs to be brought across clearly but respectfully. Your happiness as well as your boyfriend's is very important~
Sken24
June 2nd, 2018 1:29am
Calmly sit with said bf and state that you are not feeling happy, recognising that they are your personal feelings.
Anonymous
June 7th, 2018 5:17pm
Talk to him about how you're feeling. Make him understand that you are unhappy, and he will support you and try his best to make you feel happy again.
Anonymous
June 9th, 2018 3:14pm
Maybe you could sit down with him and explain your reasons for not feeling happy anymore. Discuss it and try and make him understand
dancingForest68
June 16th, 2018 12:03am
Just be as honest as possible. It is difficult, but remember that if you're not happy, he won't receive the best from you. And that is not your fault! I went through this a while ago, and although it was hard, it was better for us to part.
LuminousWaterfall99
June 23rd, 2018 5:05pm
The key to any relationship is communication. It’s best to just sit him down and talk frankly about the issues. If you worry you’ll get off track and emotional, maybe write down in bullet points what you want to say and refer back to it.
Anonymous
June 24th, 2018 2:28am
For me honesty is key to everything, relax and take your time to talk to him tell hik what went wrong and try to work it out
GAddams
June 24th, 2018 8:21am
First, make sure you understand why you're not happy, so you can convey it well to your BF. You might want to take some time and write about your feelings in a journal - it may help you to clarify exactly where the unhappiness lies.
Anonymous
June 24th, 2018 12:22pm
Just try and be completely honest about what's going on in your head, he can't help if he doesn't know and keeping it to yourself will make you even unhappier
SacredArtist
June 30th, 2018 4:07am
This is going to sound like it isn't even advice but I promise you it's the only way to do it. Just do it. That's it. Just do it. Do I not understand that what is being implied here is that it is difficult? No, I do get it. I do. But when you need what you need and when you know in your very being that something is wrong or off... you just have to "get it over with." With experience and observation, it's the only way to go. What's the worst case scenario? They decide they don't think its work it anymore with you? Well, so what? Of course you might love them but love is not only found in one person and in fact there are so many people out there who want to give you want you want because it's part of who they are you don't have to change them, you don't have to walk on egg shells, you don't have to be miserable. Best case scenario? It works out. They realize, you know what, hey, my partner is worth it, I want to try. And guess what? You got to start that process up. Just by doing it. Fear is not your friend.
Anonymous
June 30th, 2018 11:12pm
First of all narrow it down to why you are not happy in the relationship. Is it anything you could work on together, or Not?
Anonymous
July 18th, 2018 6:32am
Firstly this is your problem not his. Why aren't you happy? What's happening for you in this relationship? Is he doing something to cause you upset? Listen to yourself - maybe the relationship has run its course.
Anonymous
July 18th, 2018 9:48pm
That can be difficult to do but the best thing you could do is just be honest. Let him know how you feel on the inside and number one make sure its right for you and that's truly how you feel.
SocialLemon12
July 20th, 2018 4:29am
Honesty is the best thing to go with. This way you will express your feelings and help him understand
Allears247
July 25th, 2018 10:19am
Simply tell him and explain why. Things like this are never easy to say and you're rarely able to lessen the blow.
Anonymous
July 25th, 2018 2:35pm
FInd a time that you are both free to meet up and tell him, it might be hard at first but afterwards you will feel much better
Anonymous
July 25th, 2018 7:29pm
Just start by telling him you would like to talk to him and take your time in explaining how you feel.
Asame
July 26th, 2018 12:09am
Communication is the key for a healthy relationship. Don't worry, if he loves you he wants you to be happy too and will listen to you.