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How do I tell my boyfriend that I don't want to be with him? (anymore)

303 Answers
Last Updated: 12/28/2020 at 5:05am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Melissa Hudson, MS Ed, PhD(c), LMFT

Marriage & Family Therapist

I work with clients of diverse backgrounds on a multitude of concerns. My approach is, at times, directive, yet always curious, nonjudgmental, collaborative, and validating.

Top Rated Answers
July 15th, 2016 11:16am
Ask to meet up and tell him kindly. You don't need to have a raging fight, you can just break up on good terms. This will save time for both of you.
July 16th, 2016 11:11am
"Your happiness is my happiness too, I don't want you to feel lost and I don't want you to think that my love isn't enough. I love you so much I'm willing to let you go."
July 21st, 2016 2:36am
Is there any particular reason? If so, sit him down when he is in a neutral mood, not particularly happy but not stressed or upset. Bring up your recent thoughts in a non-accusational way. And simply tell him calmly you think it would be better for both of you if you go your separate ways.
July 21st, 2016 3:08am
" I know that we've had a good time and I know that you love me but, I think it would be best if we went our separate ways because I dont feel the same way as I felt when we first got together."
July 23rd, 2016 5:43pm
Honesty is the best policy with anything you do. If you are close with him, he will hopefully respect your honesty about the situation.
July 27th, 2016 6:19am
If you don't want to be with him anymore, he probably deserves for you to be as honest as possible without being brutal.
July 30th, 2016 2:52pm
I think the best way to do this is to his face, but not rudely, just explain that you're not intended anymore and this relationship wasn't what you were expecting
August 2nd, 2016 6:24am
Break the news to him in a gentle manner. Enumerate his positive qualities, but tell him that you don't feel that the relationship is not working between you anymore.
August 3rd, 2016 9:20am
You have to be honest with him. Tell him you just don't feel the same way about him that he does about you, and that relationship is over.
August 3rd, 2016 11:36am
Sometimes it is best to do this face to face as you can explain to him why you feel this way.
August 5th, 2016 8:51pm
You approach him calmly and discuss the reasons why your relationship isn't making you happy anymore
August 6th, 2016 1:56am
Just sit him down (in private, no texting or email or face time) face to face and say that you have lost feelings for him and you don't think it would be fair to him if you stay in a relationship you are not into.
August 9th, 2016 2:16pm
Be completely honest about how you feel. He will thank you in the long run instead of being dragged a long with false hope.
August 10th, 2016 5:39pm
Communication is key. Just tell him straight up. at the end of the way you deserve to be happy. With or without him
August 13th, 2016 9:31am
Nothing trumps honesty. Breakups are always hard, there's no denying, but they can also be an opportunity for growth for both people in the long term as long as they are handled on honest terms. This means providing the honest answers your boyfriend will need to give him the closure required to move on. Equally that means being honest with yourself too so that your next relationship might be more successful.
August 13th, 2016 9:45am
Whether the reason is personal or you just lost feelings, no one deserves to be lied to a in a relationship. I think it's best if you have a truthful conversation; but don't be harsh and angry! Be simple and gentle, as they might still want to be with you. Reassure them that they will find someone, and so will you :)
August 14th, 2016 5:37pm
I would arrange a time for you and him to sit down and talk about the reason you do not want to be with him anymore and tell him the way you feel and try to tell him nicely but clearly.
August 25th, 2016 4:42am
just be direct and sincere , it might hurt him but at least you would be honest and you should show him that that means you were honest from begining till the end
August 25th, 2016 7:26pm
Honestly, the best way to deal with this situation is to just approach him with honesty and respect. Make sure that you have spent some time thinking about why you don't want to be with him anymore. Being honest with him saves unneeded extra heartbreak for the future. Remember that taking care of yourself and distancing yourself from toxic people and emotions is the first and bravest step to healing.
August 26th, 2016 5:26am
Asking how he feels in the relationship,does he see it going ant further is he happy,explain your feelings
August 27th, 2016 6:58am
Have you identified the reason you don't want to be with him anymore? Perhaps be gentle as you would if the shoe is on the other foot, but be honest as well.
August 27th, 2016 12:31pm
Honesty is the key. There is no easy way to tell someone that you no longer want to be with them. Whatever way you tell it, its going to hurt them so i think that just be honest and be reasonable.
August 28th, 2016 10:17pm
Be honest and understanding, tell him how you feel and he will understand -if not was he really worth getting with in the first place?
September 1st, 2016 4:15am
It's always hard to break up with someone, especially a romantic partner. However, the longer you stay with someone that you no longer enjoy being with, the longer you will both be unhappy. From my personal experience, the best way to break up is just by simply stating it. Remember that breaking up does not require any reasoning or explanation, it's just doing what's best for you (and likely the other person).
September 15th, 2016 11:48am
If that's what one wants, it's better not to hide such feelings as the more we wait the more it hurts, but if you are going to tell him, it would be better if it's a real conversation than over text. If we are not comfortable for speaking then we can even write it down and give them, but giving before them is what matters, to stop misunderstandings if any.
September 18th, 2016 2:27am
Just say hey this isn't working out....I hope we can still be friends. I like you, just not like that
September 18th, 2016 4:55pm
You just talk about it with him I guess that's the best way to sort things out and he can be happy with it but if you do anything behind his back he will feel disappointed and there might be some consequences about that talk to him convince him that you don't want to be with him it's good that way.
September 21st, 2016 2:14am
You can start by destining your self a little. This will help you gain the space and the courage that you need to talk to him honestly about your feelings. Remember, he deserves to know the truth, so be honest :)
September 29th, 2016 3:07am
Explain why you feel the way you feel. Also think about what his response will be. Try to understanding without changing your mind.
October 5th, 2016 4:46am
I think honesty is the best policy in this situation. Sit down with your boyfriend and explain that the relationship is not what you want anymore. Perhaps explain specific details and that you do not think it would be healthy to continue on together.