How do you break out of unhealthy patterns and find ways to enjoy the good things in your relationship?
Last Updated: 10/11/2016 at 12:15pm
Brenda Munroe, LCSW
Clinical Social Work/Therapist
As a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW), I have worked with individuals of all ages. My work with clients is supportive, interactive and nonjudgmental.
Top Rated Answers
try to find and notice little things that they are doing, and appreciate what is positive in the relationship. try to not get back into your usual negative response to something in a relationship, and most importantly make sure you have respect, trust, and good, healthy communication so things can be fixed easily
A relationship is about having fun and excitement! Try not to constantly revolve around the negative or unhealthy patterns by trying something new together.
The first thing to do is to learn how to recognize your unhealthy behaviors as they occur. For example, if you find that you're often quick to anger, recognizing when your emotions are getting the best of you can be the first step to preventing an angry outburst.
As I am learning, it is important to first admit that one is on a unhealthy pattern. Once that is out of the way and it has been identified, the work of breaking from it gets a littlw less intimidating. Most of the time change is a hard pill to swallow. So to do a turnaround and break a pattern or an old habit one needs to be patient with themselves and take baby steps towards change. Weigh the consequences of the unhealthy pattern and compare it to how much life could be easier if you choose to break it. Write down the benefits of breaking them. Remind yourself that at the end of the day it is the little that matters in a relationship. Its what adds up.
Show gratitude for the good things you have in the relationship, and in each other, and stop picking out the bad.
Breaking out of patterns takes time and hard work. It's about deciding what you want, and making decisions on how to do it. Focusing on the positive aspects of your relationship is a good start, and using communication to convey your needs and wants, can help a lot.
The first step, I would think, is recognizing the unhealthy pattern and making a conscious effort to change it or at least recognize it. From there, it makes sense that you would modify the behaviors that that lead to the unhealthy patterns .
It would probably be best if you sought out a counselor or therapist and outline your concerns. Sometimes a medical professional can be more helpful than just assessing yourself.
Make a list of things you are grateful for in the other person and then give them the list when they least expect it.
Focus on the positive aspects of the relationship and try to figure out how to keep that going. Work together with your significant other and support each other!
Try to talk to your partner and identify exactly what it is that you both have issues with and attempt to compromise with them to resolve them. Giving the extra effort to compliment your partner can let them know that they are appreciated and they will do the same in return. Giving your partner a boost in confidence will help them as well as yourself in a relationship. I hope this has helped, all the best in your relationship, Ben.
I just talk with friends because two of them are like my sisters. Soledad and Gabriela share many of my hobbies and likes. Some of my few hobbies are playing volleyball, cooking and listening different kinds of music such as Folkloric, Rock, Pop, Classical and especially Latin Music like salsa and Merengue. They also enjoy this kind of music and we have fun all the time at my place.
Just take a break for a few moments and think about what you could change. Whilst also looking at these patterns in someone elses point of view. Then decide why you should/would like to change these patterns, and how you could go about it.
Its all you. You are responsible for your own happiness or sadness. Don't let or allow anyone else especially people who do not deserve it to be responsible for your happiness.
Baby steps are the key. One by one kick those bad habits by replacing them good habits until there is nothing but good and positive things in your relationship.
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