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How do you break out of unhealthy patterns and find ways to enjoy the good things in your relationship?

15 Answers
Last Updated: 10/11/2016 at 12:15pm
How do you break out of unhealthy patterns and find ways to enjoy the good things in your relationship?
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Brenda Munroe, LCSW

Clinical Social Work/Therapist

As a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW), I have worked with individuals of all ages. My work with clients is supportive, interactive and nonjudgmental.

Top Rated Answers
LightAtTheEnd57
June 4th, 2015 6:47pm
try to find and notice little things that they are doing, and appreciate what is positive in the relationship. try to not get back into your usual negative response to something in a relationship, and most importantly make sure you have respect, trust, and good, healthy communication so things can be fixed easily
Anonymous
December 7th, 2015 1:48am
A relationship is about having fun and excitement! Try not to constantly revolve around the negative or unhealthy patterns by trying something new together.
Anonymous
March 21st, 2016 6:11pm
The first thing to do is to learn how to recognize your unhealthy behaviors as they occur. For example, if you find that you're often quick to anger, recognizing when your emotions are getting the best of you can be the first step to preventing an angry outburst.
Anonymous
October 11th, 2016 12:15pm
As I am learning, it is important to first admit that one is on a unhealthy pattern. Once that is out of the way and it has been identified, the work of breaking from it gets a littlw less intimidating. Most of the time change is a hard pill to swallow. So to do a turnaround and break a pattern or an old habit one needs to be patient with themselves and take baby steps towards change. Weigh the consequences of the unhealthy pattern and compare it to how much life could be easier if you choose to break it. Write down the benefits of breaking them. Remind yourself that at the end of the day it is the little that matters in a relationship. Its what adds up.
realm316
January 26th, 2015 10:54pm
Show gratitude for the good things you have in the relationship, and in each other, and stop picking out the bad.
Easylistener
January 28th, 2015 5:48pm
Breaking out of patterns takes time and hard work. It's about deciding what you want, and making decisions on how to do it. Focusing on the positive aspects of your relationship is a good start, and using communication to convey your needs and wants, can help a lot.
Anonymous
April 27th, 2015 9:52pm
The first step, I would think, is recognizing the unhealthy pattern and making a conscious effort to change it or at least recognize it. From there, it makes sense that you would modify the behaviors that that lead to the unhealthy patterns .
Anonymous
April 29th, 2015 10:33pm
It would probably be best if you sought out a counselor or therapist and outline your concerns. Sometimes a medical professional can be more helpful than just assessing yourself.
sarper
August 3rd, 2015 11:46pm
Make a list of things you are grateful for in the other person and then give them the list when they least expect it.
Anonymous
October 26th, 2015 3:09pm
Focus on the positive aspects of the relationship and try to figure out how to keep that going. Work together with your significant other and support each other!
ImallEars97
November 10th, 2015 12:44am
Try to talk to your partner and identify exactly what it is that you both have issues with and attempt to compromise with them to resolve them. Giving the extra effort to compliment your partner can let them know that they are appreciated and they will do the same in return. Giving your partner a boost in confidence will help them as well as yourself in a relationship. I hope this has helped, all the best in your relationship, Ben.
gracefulUnicorn87
February 2nd, 2016 2:44pm
I just talk with friends because two of them are like my sisters. Soledad and Gabriela share many of my hobbies and likes. Some of my few hobbies are playing volleyball, cooking and listening different kinds of music such as Folkloric, Rock, Pop, Classical and especially Latin Music like salsa and Merengue. They also enjoy this kind of music and we have fun all the time at my place.
Anonymous
March 29th, 2016 8:07pm
Just take a break for a few moments and think about what you could change. Whilst also looking at these patterns in someone elses point of view. Then decide why you should/would like to change these patterns, and how you could go about it.
Greatlistener87
August 22nd, 2016 2:33am
Its all you. You are responsible for your own happiness or sadness. Don't let or allow anyone else especially people who do not deserve it to be responsible for your happiness.
Anonymous
September 20th, 2016 3:33am
Baby steps are the key. One by one kick those bad habits by replacing them good habits until there is nothing but good and positive things in your relationship.