How do you enjoy dating when you're still sad about your ex, but know you have to date to move on?

22 Answers
Last Updated: 01/28/2019 at 7:15am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
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Linda Miland, MA

Licensed Professional Counselor

I have a passion to help individuals address and challenge thoughts ,feelings and lifestyle factors that are contributing to mental health issues.

Top Rated Answers
niceBalloon9906
January 1st, 2018 8:09am
It’s so sad I hate this feeling I’m in a relationship and still love my ex but I do love my boyfriend at the moment but I would rather have my ex and it’s the worst feel what should I do
LavenderBridge
January 25th, 2016 8:43am
You never have to "date to move on". When you've dated you have built a relationship with someone that is/was very dear to you. And with each person you encounter your character gets influenced. Personally I recommend to take some alone time after a relationship, firstly because you have to re-discover and appreciate yourself. Are your hobbies still the same? Is there something you want to do before entering a new relationship? Secondly because your next partner isn't a stepping stone to get over someone. Your next partner is someone who you should want to be with, because you care for them and not because you want to get rid of lingering feelings for a past lover. And as a little reminder at the end: It's ok to feel sad. Just like love, sadness is an emotion you need to feel. As long as you know when to pick yourself up again, embrace all the emotions, good and bad.
beautifulBabyCow10
July 28th, 2015 6:25pm
Date to have fun, if you are still sad about your ex you are not ready to date to find a new relationship. You can learn a lot about yourself by just going out and enjoy being you.
HopefulJet61
November 9th, 2015 2:10am
Everyone deserves a fresh start. Whenever your dating don't let the sadness get the best of you you deserve happiness and so does the person you choose to date. What I mean is they deserve the full happy you not half of you. Give it your all leave the sad you behind its not fair to you or your potential partner!
mvpeng
July 18th, 2017 8:27am
Try to enjoy the new people for who they are, rather than how they compare to your ex. You'll probably find new cool things in them that will surprise you in a good way.
BlissfulCherry
July 27th, 2015 5:36pm
To be happy you just have to find the right person. Find someone who will make you happy and appreciate you. Someone who has everything you ever wanted. Someone who won't make the same mistakes that your ex did. You'll automatically move on.. Cause you would have found the right one
Anonymous
March 26th, 2015 10:26pm
Put yourself in the present moment. The past moments may have been happy, but they are just that; the past.
Sunflowerdaydream
June 18th, 2015 2:07am
In order to turn away from someone mentally, spiritually and physically, it takes power, motivation, force, and faith. You can do it because, in most cases, you were happy without this person before you met him-so you can be happy again, right? You don’t need anyone else to make you feel good about yourself or your life, so prove that to him and the rest of the world! There’s a whole world out there of exciting activities and adventures just waiting for you, and now that you’re not being held back by anyone (yes, held back) you can literally do anything you want. So indulge! Travel, go out, go hiking, do anything you want! You have infinite time for yourself to spend on YOU. Then go out and show it off. You have no limits now, there’s probably a person who always thought you were the bees knees but couldn’t make a move because you were taken, now’s the time!
caringCara11
March 20th, 2015 2:50pm
You don't have to date to move on! Or you could try dating yourself! This sounds weird, but take yourself out to dinner, take an art class or just spend some quiet time with yourself. It's both relaxing and will help you discover yourself so that when you enter your next relationship, you'll know exactly who you are and what you want.
newfiegirl29
January 19th, 2016 12:48pm
try to keep your mind on the date that your on and forget bout the ex then you will feel better and slowly will forget bout the ex after a while.
peacefulWinter66
June 7th, 2016 10:50pm
If dating doesn't feel right, don't. Dating doesn't guarantee moving on. You guarantee moving on. If dating isn't working for you right now be single Give yourself time to get over your ex. The most important person here is you and you need to take care of you.
MaybellePepsi
July 18th, 2016 10:34pm
I remember when my friends tried to get me out of the house after my breakup - we had dated for over a year and was my first serious boyfriend. They wanted me to have fun and let myself go because I was single now and free to be the woman I deserved to be. I wasn't ready then and every date was horrible because I wanted him so much. I think that's the one thing I can tell anyone who is in this situation - you know when it is time and you know when it feels right, some quicker than others, but it is up to you to make the decision to date again. You won't suddenly not think of that ex, but I bet you, your date is also taking that plunge too and I think remembering that makes dating a little bit more enjoyable - you will meet someone who UNDERSTANDS how you are feeling right now and that means you can be comfortable in their company.
MissyRaniah
May 27th, 2015 9:37am
I will try to enjoy it all, and forget the memories are quite painful to remember. Because I know, life is a lesson. I also know that my ex will also see there. I love ice cream, and eating pizza. Why did not I think to start from there. I know I would enjoy eating ice cream and pizza along with my new boyfriend.
Anonymous
September 15th, 2015 3:59pm
You don't have to date to move on! You can move on without being in a relationship. Try to enjoy the little things in your life.
IndigoHealer
January 28th, 2019 7:15am
I don't date until I am really really ready. Meaning over my ex partner entirely. Sometimes if the connection was deep, that has taken years. I wasn't lonely. I had friends, but that vacancy remained unfilled because for me, I needed the space to be cleared enough to allow a new experience in; without imprints of pain, sorrow, fears, left behind. I have learned that while I may have the convenience of technology, the comforts of home, only time was going to really make me ready. That meant finding connection with friends, and new people in a context of celibacy. I know such a taboo nowadays. Celibacy as a virtue helps to bestow healing energy to other chakras like the heart that may be damaged. It also allows for faster healing of self-esteem, confidence, and self-awareness.
Vickers1999
January 19th, 2016 12:40am
You should delete everything that links you to your ex. They are your ex for a reason. Give the new person a chance. They might turn out to be really amazing.
Greatlistener87
April 11th, 2016 4:14am
To move on you will have to let go of the past. It is good for you to give yourself and the next person that comes into your life a chance to date and know each other,
Alliesmidt
June 28th, 2016 3:15am
Exs are going to be a memory. It all depends how I handle the breakup. True love always finds a way.
Anonymous
July 19th, 2016 7:16am
It's best to wait till you're happy with yourself before you start a new relationship. Getting over someone else is difficult but if you give yourself some time, it will work out.
cloudscanbefriends
September 5th, 2016 7:21am
You must realize that your ex was a big part of your life, and now that they are no longer in it, you can fill that part with better people.
AnnaCat
June 11th, 2018 5:48pm
Don't be too hard on yourself. It takes time to heal after a breakup. I would suggest avoiding taking about your ex with whoever you are currently dating. It's essential that you start new and focus on your new relationship. If you feel like you need to talk to someone about your feelings about your ex, talk to a friend or professional, and allow yourself the time to move on.
Wanted1234
June 18th, 2018 9:55pm
Love always grabs onto the hardest thing we own in this life and that's time! unfortunately it is brutal and different for everybody and the only way to be able to controll it.....actually just steer ot a bit. maby point it in the right direction it to practice. Which is not that bad when you end up with a support system that realizes that they cant prevent the pain but surely can help you up. It is about learning. And about how you rise after you fall. Just embrace the pain and know that it will make you a better person